Falling Into Darkness

I was at my desk, looking at white paper. A pen was in my hand. I remember a few words here and there. Screams. It was like my imagination had taken me to a place I couldn't control, couldn't face. As I started to write words, I didn't really read them. Something about death, darkness, and a ruined friendship. I just remember the saying Broken Friendships Can always be fixed, but there will still be cracks.

As the ink from the pen transfered to paper and I read those last words, I became the character on the page. I went into my imagination and imagined me as the girl who was trying to re-connect with her evil best friend. It was horrific watching girls die at my feet, watching Kirstan run and run and run and finally stopping. She just looked at me with those meaningful brown, deep brown eyes. I was transfixed. I followed her. Like I was in a trance. I wanted to scream out. I wanted to stop and go the other direction. But my imagination took me into the story. So I had to follow the story line that I was writing in my dream reality.

So here it is, in black and white. So whoever's trying to tell me something ain't right. I hope I did the dream justice and I hope the dream goes away, when I submit this and maybe I'll understand. But theres also a possibility that I won't.

***

"Rose, follow me." I followed and followed and followed. I watched her strike a boy who tried to grab me. When he fell, and with his dieing words he said : I tried.
Whats that supposed to mean? What had he tried? To kill me? I couldn't believe that Kirstan would want to hurt me... but would she? She just hurt the boy... but she was protecting me. But she could.

"Come on Rose. Remember what we used to do together? Remeber the old backyard? The trees behind our houses. Do you remember?" Kirstan asked me and I only nodded. I wanted to say I do, I really do remember. But I also remember the dance. The way Kirstan was all up on my boyfriend. Images of that entered my mind, and images of seeing them kiss came with it. I wanted to shut it out. Then images of him breaking up with me to go with her... and the most horrible image... her smirking at me at the dance.

She only smiled and carried on walking, making me follow her.

"Do you remember school Rose? Do you remember us talking, sharing lockers?" Again. I only nodded. I wanted to say yes, but that she also stole my things, made me feel bad when I looked at a boy and they didn't look at me. She made me feel worthless when I didn'[t get into the school play. I wanted to say all those things, but I couldn't. Memory after memory came flooding back and I so wanted to turn away. To run. But I couldn't. She had done something to me, to make me foollow her. I needed a get away. This is what he mean tby tried.

"Do you remember the concert? How your beautiful voice was in the microphone?" I also remembered the way she brought attention back on her with her outfit, her remarks... how she handled my solo. How she brought the hosue down with a stunning, non-rehearsed song that blew everything out of the water.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I whispered crying. She wasn't trying to bring back happy memories and be my best friend again, she was trying to hurt me. And man had she succeeded so many times before.

"Doing what Rose?" then she started to scream. She started shaking and I went to grab her hand. But she took a step back. More like floated. I heard a noise and turned around, but nobody was there. I turned back around and saw that Kirstan was farther away.

I reached out, she reached back. I reached further, she went further away. Then the moaning started and I started to freak out. The tears came faster, blinding me for a second.

"Rose. Please help me." Over and over again I heard her moaning and I couldn't help wondering why should I help you? You never helped me while we were enemies, friends or even best friends. But she was still a person and a person I should help right?

"Kirstan, stop. Stop moving. I can't reach you if you keep moving." I sobbed and reached out again. I noticed a bridge in the background, but didn't think it was important till Kirstan started to really move onto the bridge. I was terrified of heights and Kirstan knew that.

"Kirstan, get off the bridge. That thing could collapse any minute. Come on Kirstan. Listen to me!" I pleaded, I sobbed but nothing worked. She stopped shaking, and she stopped moaning. She had stopped moving al together and it was scary. What was going on?

I stepped a little closer to the bridge careful not to look down.

"Come on Kristan. Grab my hand. I know you can do it." I said carefully but still no response. I moved closer. I said the same thing, still no responsive. I moved as close as I could and went to grab her hand but missed. I tried again, but I mi-judged the distance. I started to fall and screamed out. The bridge had dissapeared and Kirstan was still floating. She suddenly moved and looked down at me with a wicked smile on her face.

"Why don't you write all this down in that damn book you have. I'm sure it will be as exciting as your school clothes." She laughed evilly and I screamed louder. Finally I understood as I kept falling, and falling that I should never have trusted her and I also realized I couldn't be saved. I felt the end was nearing and the only thoughts going through my mind were:

Why was I so stupid to believe this friendship could work?