The Cloaked Samurai

There was no village or town in sight, and Miyoko was dangerously close to giving birth. You dragged the horse through the frozen forest, your breathless prayers visible in a tiny white cloud before you. Miyoko cried and whimpered and begged for help and called out names you didn't recognize. You were torn between stopping and helping her through the labor here or trying to find someone with more experience at the risk of stressing Miyoko out even more.

"Please help me," Miyoko whispered, her voice hoarse from screaming and sobbing. "It hurts so much! I just want to die!"

"Hold on," you encouraged, silently praying so hard it made your head throb. Suddenly, as though someone had heard your prayers and granted a miracle, you began to recognize the foliage. You could see a frozen river through the trees, and everything came flooding back as the past collided with the present. The dojo was only a few miles away! Farren and Farrah would help you!

You felt like the young amateur warrior you had been so many months ago as you urged the horse forward with newfound energy. You would see them again at last! Would they recognize you? Would you recognize them? You were so eager to find your old friends that you nearly forgot about Miyoko. She was still in danger, not only in health but because there could be soldiers still lurking around. How long had the dojo been under the eye of Keiji? How much had Farren and Farrah suffered for you? You vowed that you would get help for Miyoko and then leave as soon as possible. You wouldn't force them to endanger themselves by housing fugitives.

Finally, you approached the dojo from the rear entrance. You helped Miyoko off the horse and carried her into the ancient building. Everything was just as you had remembered it, and you felt as if you were walking through a dream.

"Farrah? Farren? Hello?" you shouted through the deserted hallways. You wondered why there were no students or children lurking about. One door finally opened. Farrah crept into the hallway. She looked smaller and weaker. There were dark lines under her eyes, and she looked too tired and empty for her age. She blinked several times when she saw you.

"Akio? Is... is that you?" she whispered.

"Yes. Please, this girl is about to have her baby. Please help us. I promise I'll never ask for anything again," you begged. Farrah looked around nervously and quietly motioned for you to enter her room. Inside, it was dark and dusty, very unlike the bright and clean room she had once kept.

"Lay her down here," Farrah instructed, motioning to her futon. You carefully set Miyoko down as Farrah lit a lamp instead of uncovering the windows.

"I need some things from the kitchen," Farrah murmured, ducking her head and turning to leave the room.

"Where's Farren?" you asked in confusion.

"He's gone," she whispered, unable to look you in the eye. She slipped out of the room like a shadow; all of her actions suggested that she had suffered heavily from something for many months. What exactly had happened since you left?

Farrah returned silently with cold cloths for Miyoko's head and a cup of something for her to drink to ease her pain.

"She has been bleeding heavily for days," you told Farrah in a hushed voice, not wanting to upset Miyoko. Farrah nodded but didn't say anything. You didn't speak for hours, the silence only punctuated by Miyoko's cries and screams.

"It's Emperor Keiji's child," you finally said. Farrah looked up at you for the first time since you arrived.

"Then the rumors are true," she whispered. "I wasn't sure which were reality and which were fantasy."

"What else have you heard?" you asked. "What do they say about me?" Farrah refused to answer, and you fell into silence again.

The smell of everything was unbearable, and although you didn't know much about childbirth, you were positive there shouldn't be this much blood. You were amazed Miyoko's thin form had this much fluid, and you kept expecting her to visibly dry up like a piece of fruit left in the sun. You fell asleep a few times, dreaming of velvet blue butterflies lightly frolicking through glorious fields of lilies. Each time you awoke, the sour smell of birth created a terrible shock.

"Why are you caring for her?" Farrah asked once.

"I don't know," you replied, letting Miyoko squeeze your hand until you can't feel it anymore.

"Devotion so strong will only end in misery," Farrah quietly warned, and you wondered when she had grown so dark and pessimistic.

Farrah left to get more water, and Miyoko turned to face you, her face pale and wet.

"Do you still not know why I love you?" she whispered.

"No," you shook your head.

"It's... because... I can see... your heart," she murmured. "It's... a very good... heart. Even if... you've made... mistakes... you can justify... all you have done."

"I killed your brother, Miyoko. Right in front of your eyes. I am responsible for the death of everyone you ever knew."

"They all... had to die... some day. You didn't mean it. And... you can't stay mad... forever. Revenge... is a horrible thing. It's... an endless cycle... of hatred and death. Keep killing... your enemies... and everyone will die. Someone... has to say no. Someone... has to forgive." Miyoko started coughing, and even her cough was filled with crimson blood. "I don't think... I'm going to live."

"No, Miyoko. Don't say that!" you pleaded, wishing Farrah would hurry up and return.

"It's okay. I'll see... my family again," Miyoko smiled, closing her eyes. "I'll finally... be happy."

"You can be happy here! I promise that once this is over, I'll make sure you have the best life possible. I'll make you a princess if that's what you want. I'll get you anything you desire!" you said, trying desperately to bribe her into living.

"See? You do love me," Miyoko whispered in satisfaction. "But I only want... one thing."

"Anything, anything at all."

"A promise."

"A promise?"

"No more death. I don't want anyone else... to die. It's too sad."

"But... there are evil people, Miyoko. I have to keep the world safe. It's justice."

"Swear it. Swear to me that I'll be the last one to die."

"Miyoko, I can't-"

"Please!" Miyoko summoned the last of her energy to open her eyes and stare straight into yours. "No more killing."

"I swear," you finally whispered. "I swear on my honor as a warrior and my love for you that I will never kill again."

"Thank you," Miyoko sighed. Her hand grew limp in your grasp.

"Farrah!" you shouted. "Farrah, come quickly!"

Farrah ran into the room and knelt by Miyoko's side. She carefully pressed her fingers to the side of Miyoko's neck.

"She's dead," Farrah announced solemnly.

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Farrah acted quickly, using the knife she had for cutting the cord to slice open Miyoko's belly. The baby spilled out in a flood of blood and veins and intestines, but it too had no pulse.

"A boy," Farrah whispered, shaking her head. "The first heir, however illegitimate, never able to see the world he could have inherited."

Farrah cleaned up the mess as you carefully dressed Miyoko in the blue silk kimono, covered her face with veils, and tucked the jeweled comb into her hair. You washed the baby and wrapped him in the shawl, placing him in Miyoko's arms. You worked silently, feeling frozen and numb. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't shed a single tear.

Farrah found a long piece of rope, and together you began to wrap her body in a sheet. At the last moment, you stopped Farrah. Wordlessly, you placed your sword on top of the corpse. You finished wrapping the two bodies and slowly took them outside. You worked all night digging a grave near the river, where you had once sat with Farren wondering what your life would be like. Now you had no desire to continue living.

You buried Miyoko and her son without ceremony. You didn't say any words or prayers over her body, but memories of her flashed through your mind. You remembered the first time you met her, the way she had run through the village ringing a bell to alert them to your arrival, the way she excitedly hid with you that night, the way she followed you like a scared dog for weeks after that, the way she slowly became cheerful and optimistic, and even the way she had proclaimed her everlasting love to you. She would never know the truth.

"Where is Farren?" you finally asked again once you had finished the grave.

"The men stayed at our dojo for so long, but they found no trace of you," Farrah explained softly. "Emperor Keiji was furious. He sent an order for Farren to join the army immediately. I haven't seen him since that day. I was not allowed to continue teaching lessons because I am a woman. I lost all our students, and I've been struggling to make enough money to survive without knowing whether I would ever see you or Farren again."

"I'm so sorry," you whispered.

"I don't want your pity," she said, looking at you with such sharp contempt that it brought fresh pain to your heart. Farrah entered the dojo, leaving you alone in the cold dawn. You sat on the porch, staring at the gray clouds and wanting to turn back time. If only Miyoko was still alive... if only you were still with Takumi and the ninjas... if only you were still training with Farren and Farrah... if only you were still with your family. All of those times, you were happy without realizing how content you really were. Yes, you were oppressed when your family was alive. Yes, you risked discovery by soldiers when you trained with Farren and Farrah. Yes, you felt guilty when you were with Takumi and the ninjas. Yes, you were always on the run when Miyoko was alive. Looking back, it seemed that you were steadily declining, but each time, there was happiness and joy. If you had only lived in the moment instead of wishing for something you didn't have, maybe you wouldn't have lost all these loved ones. Miyoko had never let the past bother her, and she had had such a cheerful outlook for the future. She was the only one able to forgive even the deepest of sins. You had treated her like a child and thought she was immature, but in the end, she was the wisest person in the world.

Now you were alone, lying on the cold porch and staring at the dim sunrise. You were broken and lost. You didn't know what you should do or where you should go. You closed your eyes and prayed for death.

Sleep came instead with dreams of Farren fighting a dark war and receiving medals in a cursed ceremony as the sky stormed above. You dreamed of a blue bird gracefully flying beneath a bright rainbow and the waves of the sea sadly receiving Miyoko's corpse in a treasure chest instead of a coffin.

You woke up and saw your family standing in front of you. Your father stepped forward and warned, "Your soul is made of crystal. Take care to not shatter it."

Behind your family, a gold desert stretched out as far as you could see. Miyoko was standing in the desert, gently holding her baby close. She quivered under your gaze, looking at you with large fearful eyes.

You woke up again, this time for real. You felt cold and confused, remembering blurrily that you should be sad about something. Miyoko's tragic death suddenly bombarded your brain again with its rush of emotions and memories. You weakly crawled over to her grave and lay beside the freshly overturned soil, whispering, "I'm sorry," over and over again until your throat was hoarse. You completely forgot that you should be running from ninjas and soldiers until it was already too late.