What Lingers Beyond That First Step

A month had gone by and we hadn’t heard from Mike or William. It bothered me, but I tried not to dwell on it; no one else seemed to. To keep myself occupied I resumed training. I was shocked at how easy it was to pick up where I left off; and to find that Robert and Alyssa had trained every day since my disappearance. Everyone treated me fairly but I couldn’t help feeling guilty; I had known for two years that people cared about me here, and I hadn’t contacted them or let them know that I was alive. Robert and Andy were the only ones who didn’t seem to care, everyone else treaded lightly; as if they weren’t sure how they were supposed to act. Well except for Pete, he hadn’t changed much since when I first met him.

Right now everyone was out on patrol, Alyssa included, and it was just Robert and I keeping watch over the warehouse. Patrols were a common occurrence in the past month, it was the only way we could keep tabs on Brendon and the Dandies. Danielle and Pete would go and find her brother and he’d tell them what he knew, and the others would drive through the city, watchful. Sometimes they’d come home wiping blood off their faces from a fight they had gotten into, but most nights were uneventful.

“It’s the calm before the storm,” Pete muttered darkly one day when we’d try to figure out what was going on.

“Chuck says the Dandies are trying to recruit any vampire who wishes to join their ranks. No questions asked,” Danielle informed us another gloomy night.

“On the bright side, Brendon hasn’t found William and Mike. If he had we’d be dead by now,” Joe piped in lightly, though it didn’t make me feel any better at the time.

I had just tucked Robert into bed – despite his age he always asked either Joe or I to see him off – when I walked out into the living room. It was still relatively early and I was prepared to spend the hours I’d be alone by reading a novel I had found in Alyssa’s bookcase. I didn’t really care what it was about, I just knew it wasn’t about vampires or saving the world – therefore it’d be the perfect distraction. I fell onto the couch and tucked my legs behind me before cracking it open. It was the part where poor Larkin was raped that I had to close the book suddenly; fierce memories of Ryan coming to mind. I quickly set the book down and made my way to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of wine.

Upon re-entering the living room, I froze. Blinking hard at the site before me I quickly realised that I wasn’t seeing thing and gasped. Standing in the middle of the room was Mike and William, their duffle bags at their feet. My glass slipped from my grasp and fell towards the ground as my feet took a life of their own; and ran towards Mike.

He turned around, his brown eyes meeting mine; and then he ran and caught me. He spun me around before he set me down and pulled me close; his lips pressing against mine forcibly. My fingers tangled themselves in his dark hair, not minding the bit of grime present. When he pulled away he rested his forehead on mine, just staring into my eyes, grinning.

“I missed you so much,” He whispered.

“I missed you too,” I giggled a bit, then bit my lip to keep that sound at bay.

“What am I, chopped liver?” William’s voice caused us to pull away and turn to look at him. He was perched on the arm of the couch, sipping on my wine as he smiled at us.

“You know I missed you too big brother,” I laughed pulling away from Mike to go and give William a tight hug. “So did you find him, are the Four coming?”I asked quickly.

“We found Gerard,” William nodded.

“But…” I trailed off, prompting him to continue.

“But it’s not a for sure thing that they will come,” He sighed before drowning the glass quickly.

“They have to come,” I stated franticly, “Didn’t you tell them they’re our only hope?”

“Of course we did, but only they can be sure of when is a good time to intervene. We might already be a lost cause,” William said casually as he placed the empty glass on the table beside the book I had been reading earlier.

I reached forward and slapped him before I even processed what I was doing, “Don’t say that, don’t you dare give up on us,” I hissed feeling the blood in my veins literally boil.

“You don’t understand, we all could still die even if the Four come to help us,” William spoke softly, staring at the wall.

“And whose fault is that?” I spat, he flinched slightly. “If I die, I’ll die fighting and I’ll be sure to take as many of those fuckers with me.” With that I briskly exited the room. It took all my effort to not slam the door when I reached my bedroom, but I feared waking Robert up, so I resisted. I fell onto my bed and stared up at the ceiling as the anger slowly drained from my body, and my blood temperature lowered considerably. I had been horrible to William; but I was too proud to go out there and apologize.

The door opened slowly - after what felt like hours - and the sound of footsteps made their way towards me. The bed sunk under their weight, but I didn’t look at my visitor.

“There was a time, before I got power hungry, where my only thought was to escape and return home. But when I found my family, they had forgotten me, and the anger got the best of me. I quickly gained power I had never dreamed of, I ruled Chicago; but still I wanted more. I know now I should have been content with what I was given; I also know that I had no true claim to an entire city either. There are things I regret, but none more than what I did to our parents, or to you.

“It’s funny to me that I had placed such cruel orders, when at times I would still go back to that first moment I held you. Back to the last time I saw you and how I swore I’d return to you no matter what. When I was alive and shortly after I’d been turned, you were my whole world. And now the consequences of my actions – and even my actions themselves – have put you in harm’s way.”

Without looking at William I recited a phrase I had heard so many times, “They say you hurt the ones you love the most.”

“It’s true; I deserved the hatred in your voice tonight, along with the slap. Though it nearly killed me, it wasn’t as bad as realising that this is my entire fault. If the Four do come, I will tell them so and they can punish me as they see fit,” He stated grimly.

I sat up quickly, “No you will not!”

He quirked an eyebrow at me, “You’d deny me the truest form of repenting that there is?”

“That’s not repenting, that’s suicide by cops… well to an extent,” I shrugged, “Besides you’re my brother, I don’t want you to die anymore than I want Robert or Alyssa to die,” I informed him.

“What about Mike?” He asked with a bit of a smirk on his face.

“I think it goes without saying how much I’d like for him to stay alive.”

He smiled smugly before nodding, “It does. I think it’s safe to say that he feels the same. When you left he was torn between loyalties, so he made us a couple of supplements, told me to fix this and went to have a shower,” He chuckled lightly.

I rested my head against his shoulder, “I didn’t mean what I said, and you know that right?” He merely nodded, “I missed you terribly when you left.”

“But Mike a touch more,” He teased wrapping his arm around me.

“Shuddup,” I mumbled feeling my blood rush up to my cheeks. I felt him glance at me before he burst out into laughter; which became contagious. By the time Mike came and told us that the others were back, it was like the argument had never happened. We made our way to Patrick’s study for a quick meeting with tears in our eyes; and it was good.