The Fueled By Ramen Analysis

“Fine, if you want it to be over then it’s over,” said a frustrated Ryan. I waited for a few moments before entering the den. Upon hearing me come in, he lifted his head from his hands and smiled slightly at me. “Hey.”

“Sup kid, you okay?” I asked, sitting right next to him on the brown sofa.

“I take it you heard my conversation with Keltie?” he asked sadly.

“Only the last part. Don’t feel obligated to tell me anything but if you need someone, I’m always here,” I said, giving him a hug before getting up to leave and find a place in the house for myself to think. He grabbed my arm lightly before I could really get anywhere.

“Is now a good time?” he asked timidly. “I can’t really talk to any of the guys about this because well if you stay I’ll explain it all to you.”

“Now is a perfect time,” I lied, sitting back down again. “I’m all ears.”

“I.. I… I think it’s over,” he began quietly, obviously trying to hide the tears begging to come out. “I think this time it’s really over.”

“This time?” I asked confused.

“Well for the past few months we’ve been on again, off again and all the guys are sick and tired of it,” he explained but it only made me want more information from him. But before I could ask him to elaborate he started to speak again. “From the beginning the guys didn’t exactly like Keltie. They said they got this ‘bad vibe’ from her and that she wouldn’t return the love I had for her. Keltie didn’t really mind that they disliked her but it was always in the back of my mind whenever I did anything that involved her whether we were talking on the phone or hanging out, that thought would just always pop up. I… I… I… guess she thought my mind was elsewhere because I was cheating on her and she started going ballistic. I did all that I could to show her that I was faithful to her, I even spent a shitload of money flying over to New York whenever we had a free day from tour. But she wouldn’t give up on her theory and… and… one day I caught her-“

“Oh Ryan!” I said throwing my arms around him. He returned the hug and had a death grip on me as I felt warm tears fall onto my bare shoulder. It was only then that I remembered I was still in my bikini while my towel was nowhere in sight. After his hold on me had loosened I asked him if I could borrow a shirt and he chuckled for a few seconds before his face went back to looking downcast as he handed me a floral button up. I put it on and he took a deep breath before continuing.

“I caught her in bed with one of her male choreographers,” he confided. “My heart literally shattered into pieces and we broke up for a while. The guys were happy but I felt like shit. I was still in love with her and she knew that so she took a plane to one of our stops on tour and begged for my forgiveness. I accepted it and we went back to being boyfriend and girlfriend. But then she began acting shady and I confronted her and asked her if she was cheating again. She then turned the tables and said that she wasn’t the one cheating and that it was me, so she dumped me. She then tracked me down and we got back together again but then she would pick fights with me and we broke up once more. But history tends to repeat itself and we got back together. She has me wrapped around her finger and she knows that. Every time she comes apologizing, I’m always there to welcome her back with open arms. Well right before we left Vegas to come down here Keltie and I got into a huge argument about me supposedly not being supportive about her dancing career and when I called her today to tell her I missed her and I wanted her to be my date to the wedding... it sounded like she was out of breath and I heard someone grunt on the other line. I asked her about it and she threatened to break up with me so I just made it easier for her and told her that we should be over.”

“Oh wow,” I sighed softly.

“Please, don’t judge me by this. All the other guys… they’re not supportive of my relationship with Keltie so they choose to block anything having to do with her out so I can’t talk about it with them and I don’t know what to do. Is it wrong of me to still be in love with her even though she’s hurt me so many times?” he asked as his voice cracked and his eyes became shiny.

“This will sound cliché but it’s true, love makes you oblivious to all the bad things. In the end, it’s what you want to do. I can’t tell you what to do and none of the boys can either. But from what you’ve told me, she’s emotionally abusing you. And no one ever deserves to be in a relationship where the love they give isn’t what’s being returned. To me it seems like you’re comfortable with being in a relationship and the thought of being alone drives you to always - like you said - ‘welcome Keltie with open arms’. That’s not healthy at all and the guys only have your best interest in mind, as do I. At least consider staying broken up with her. Not for me, not for the guys, but for you,” I advised. “If you ever feel like you’re hitting a weak spot and you might give in to her, I’ll be there for you. I’ll do whatever it takes to help you get out of this unhealthy relationship as long as you let me. Ryan, you deserve way better. I know I don’t know her personally but if she’s willing to throw away a great guy like you countless of times, then it’s her loss, not yours. Once you’re ready to move on, I’ll help you out in the girls department. Whether you need advice, numbers of cute friends of mine, or me to help you pick up chicks at a bar, I’m your gal.”

He smiled at the last part and nodded his head. “I’d like that, I’d like that a lot. And I am willing to let you help me stray away from her. I’ma need all the help I can get. She’s like a drug that I need to rid myself of and you’re my rehab center.”

“That’s good to hear,” I grinned. “So how are you feeling now?”

“Much better!” he said loudly. “Thank you so much Chelsea May.”

“No problem, Rydawg, it was my pleasure. If you ever need anything else - and I think I’ve said this a million times – I’m down to do whatever I can to help you,” I said.

“Now that you mention it… I have one more favor to ask of you,” he said with a spark in his honey brown eyes. “Will you do me the pleasure of escorting me to Pete and Ashlee’s wedding?”

I hesitated for a moment before he quickly added, “You don’t have to feel obligated to do so! And we’ll just go as friends. I-“

“Ryan,” I said, cutting him off. “I’d love to go with you to their wedding.”

“Good, I’ll pick you up at around 4:30 and did you and Ash find yourself something to wear for the wedding? I can’t believe they’re going with a whimsical theme,” he said, speaking a mile a minute.

“Woah, woah, woah, slow down there buddy. You’re picking me up? I thought we’d be going straight from here to Ashlee’s parents' house and whimsical? Ashlee never told me that her wedding had a theme… I don’t know if my dress is ‘whimsical’ enough,” I said, getting worried.

“Apparently there’s a lot Ashlee didn’t tell you. We’ll all be staying at The Four Seasons in Beverly Hills the night before the wedding, where we can do the bachelor / bachelorette parties. So I’ll be picking you up from your hotel room. As for your dress, if Ashlee approved then I’m sure you’ll fit in just well with the other guests. By the way what’s the color of it? I was hoping maybe we could match,” Ryan said excitedly.

“Now that I think about it, I guess my dress is ‘whimsical’,” I said after thinking back to the time I spent at Rodeo Drive. “Goodness, you’re right, Ashlee didn’t tell me a lot. I guess I’ll just have to get more details about everything later. And match? We’re not going to a high school dance, but if you really want to know, my dress is a peachy pink color.”

“Great, we’re going to have so much fun.” He grinned, getting up off the couch. "Well, I’ma go tell the guys that Keltie and I are over and done with. This time, hopefully, for good.”

I smiled back at him as he left the room. I couldn’t help but think that he seemed truly happy, unlike five minutes previous when he was all sad and downcast. Maybe this is the first step in helping him to forget about Keltie.

After showering and dressing into normal clothes I went around the house looking for everyone as I dried my hair with a towel. I looked in every single room and found no one. I began to get worried until I saw a post it note stuck to the middle of the plasma screen in the living room. I made my way towards the neon yellow paper and took it in my hands.

Dearest Chelsea May, I’m sorry if you find yourself in an empty house. While you were in the shower Spencer had the ‘bright’ idea of watching a movie. The last showing of whatever they want to watch starts in about 15 minutes and Pete’s already in the car threatening me by saying he’ll leave if I’m not done in a minute. I would have stayed in the house with you but I remembered that you might want some time for yourself. So I’ll see you in a few hours and if you need me don’t hesitate to text / call. Okay babe? Looove you.
<3, Ashlee

I nodded to myself in understandment and walked over to the wastebasket and threw the piece of paper in. I could choose between three things to do; a] wallow in my self pity; b] spend some more time thinking about my current boy situation; or c] try and forget everything by watching TV. I sat myself Indian style on the big comfy leather couch and settled for choice c since the other choices were too depressing. I leaned forward and grabbed the black remote from the coffee table and turned the TV on. I flipped through a few channels and settled on Nicktoons which had been playing one of my favorite episodes of Avatar : The Last Airbender, Zuko Alone.

I grabbed one of the decorative pillows from the couch and hugged it as I tried to fight back tears. Little Zuko’s mom was telling her son to never forget who he was no matter what happened. As the scene rolled on I gripped the pillow tighter and squinted my eyes at the TV in hopes that the ending of the show’s next scene wouldn’t be the same as the other fifty million times I’ve watched it. But that never happens and I began to sob as little Zuko woke up to find his mother was gone, his grandfather had died, and his little sister had stolen his dagger. More tears flowed as Zuko asked his father desperately where his mother was and received no answer. I turned the TV off and tried to regain my composure but failed miserably so I kept crying. I buried my face in the huge pillow and didn’t even try to stop the tears anymore.

“Buttercup?” a distinctive voice said hesitantly.

I looked up from the pillow to find none other than a disheveled looking William in front of me.

“Wh-what are you doing here?” I sniffled. “Aren’t you supposed to be with everyone else at the theatres?”

“I was taking a nap and I guess they forgot about me,” he answered, approaching me. “Is everything alright?”

“No,” I answered hoarsely while he looked taken aback. “Zuko’s mom is gone and he doesn’t know where she’s at.”

“Zuko?” he asked in an amused tone as he sat right next to me. “From Avatar? You’re crying because of that?”

“Yes,” I mumbled, feeling like a small child. “I get worked up over that show. It’s just so damn emotional.”

He chuckled and I shoved his arm not so lightly.

“Oww,” he whined, rubbing his arm. “What was that for?”

“For laughing at me!” I said as the tears stopped from falling. “Imagine if you were in little Zuko’s position and your mom was nowhere to be found.”

“There’s no point in arguing with you, is there?” he asked.

I shook my head before laying it back on the pillow that I was still hugging. After a few minutes of silence, he sighed loudly. I didn’t react in any way and he sighed once more before saying, “Chelsea May, you know we have to talk about it sooner or later?”

“Talk about what?” I mumbled into the pillow.

“Don’t play dumb with me Chelsea,” he said sadly. “You know! About last night.”

“Oh that,” I said hollowly. “What about it?”

“Chelsea May, I really like you and you won’t give me a straight answer saying if you like me back or if you don’t. Please, I’m going to ask you one more time and I don’t want you avoiding the question. Do you have any romantic feelings at all towards me?” he asked, lifting my head from the pillow and looking me right in the eyes

“I don’t know,” I said exasperatedly. “Trust me, I’d tell you if I knew, but like I told you last night I’m so confused. Can’t you seem to understand that? So much has happened to me in the last few days that I can’t exactly comprehend everything that anyone tells me. I can’t even get my own thoughts straight. I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you in any way, I never intended to do so but what I’m telling you is the truth, I don’t know if I return the feelings you have for me back. At least… not right now.”

He sat there quietly for a few seconds before looking back up with a small smile, “You just said ‘not right now’ does that mean there’s hope?”

“I guess,” I said hesitantly. “But definitely not right now. My thoughts are all jumbled up and everything is so hectic and crazy.”

“I understand,” he grinned slightly. “So umm do you want to be my date to the wedding? We’ll go as friends, nothing more unless you want it to be something more…”

“Well umm you see,” I said, looking down at the pillow as I bit my lip. “I kind of told Ryan I’d go with him already. Don’t tell anyone but he’s been having Keltie problems lately and he finally broke it off with her. He asked me to go with him just as friends too and I agreed in hopes of helping him cheer up.”

“Oh,” he said, trying to not sound down. “I understand…”

“But I’ll totally save you a dance, if you want to that is…” I said, feeling bad for rejecting him.

“Oh for sure!” he said, instantly perking up. “I’d like that.”

“Alright then,” I said. “So things won’t be awkward between us?”

“Buttercup, remember what I told you last night?” he asked. “Things will only be awkward if you make it awkward.”

“Okay,” I said quietly. “I’ll try not to make things awkward.”

“Come here,” he said, opening his arms. I narrowed my eyes at him as I tried to figure out what he was trying to do. “Come on, I don’t bite.”

I hesitated before scooting closer to him. He wrapped his arms around me as mty head unwillingly landed on his chest.

“This isn’t awkward now is it?” he asked.

“Do you really want me to answer that?” I grumbled into his chest.

“How about some TV?”

“Like I can see perfectly through your chest,” I grumbled some more.

“TV it is then!” he exclaimed, releasing me from his grip and reaching over me to grab the remote. Just as I was about to go back to my original spot – away from Will – he wrapped his right arm around my shoulders and began to flip through the channels.

“Whatever It Takes! Whatever It Takes! Whatever It Takes!” I said, bouncing up and down on the couch cushion happily.

“Is it any good?” he asked, going back to the previous channel. “Hey! Isn’t that that one guy from A Walk To Remember? And the guy from Spiderman is in this too?”

“Mhm,” I said dreamily. “Shane West and James Franco… such sexy beasts.” A glint of jealousy flashed through his eyes but quickly went away as he began laughing at Shane West’s character playing the accordion. I smacked him upside the head when he finally finished laughing.

“Oww,” he whined. “What was that for?”

“For being a jerk! You’re a musician! You should know how it feels to try and woo a girl through playing an instrument, singing, or even both!” I scolded.

“Yeah, but an accordion?” he said, cracking up some more.

“Did you even pay attention to the song he was playing?” I asked. “It was so sweet.”

“Really?” he asked, getting serious. “What was it?”

“I Melt With You,” I answered. “A guy could be playing anything and I would still think it’s amazing if it were that song.”

He nodded before going on to apologize about his ‘unacceptable behavior’ and how he would ‘also love it if someone were to play that song for him’. Instead of responding to him I rolled my eyes and went back to watching the movie.

“Should we wake them up?” I faintly heard Ashlee whisper.

“Yes!” both Sisky and Brendon answered. I let my tired eyes stay shut as I listened to the rest of their conversation.

“No, don’t,” Patrick disagreed. “May might get cranky and kill us all if we do that.”

“Damn, look at Bill’s death grip on her. He’s practically crushing the poor thing with all his upper body weight on her,” said an unfamiliar voice. It was then that I realized he was right, my whole body was numb all thanks to Will. “I feel sorry for her but then again I mean who can blame him?! Just look at her!”

“Gabe shut up,” another unfamiliar –yet this time female- voice said, as a smacking sound could be heard. “They might wake up!”

“Don’t worry Vicky - T,” Pete said. “She’s a heavy sleeper. Just watch.”

I heard footsteps get closer to me until I felt someone’s hot breath on my ear. “Chelsea May! Chelsea May! Chelsea May!” he exclaimed loudly. It took everything in me not to strangle him. “See there can be an earthquake and she’ll still be sleeping.”

“I still think we should wake them up,” I heard Brendon speak up.

“Yeah, what if he suffocates her while she’s sleeping?” Sisky added seriously.

“You guys, she won’t suffocate. Let the two kids sleep,” Gabe said persuasively. “Bill seems comfortable and she’s not complaining so let’s just go.”

“I don’t know…” Ashlee hesitantly said. “Where are you guys going to sleep?”

“The cobras don’t have to stay in here. We’ll all crash in different rooms tonight,” the woman now identified as Vicky - T said. “I agree with Gabe, let’s just go.

After they all left, Will’s death grip on me tightened. His head snuggled more into the crook of my neck as I tried to squirm out of his grip but I finally gave up after realizing there was no use. I was stuck there until morning.

“Bill! Bill! Bill!” someone exclaimed loudly from right next to me. Will’s body jerked from on top of me and his arms finally released their hold.

“Butcher, what the fuck?!” he grumbled

“I just wanted to say good morning,” Andy said, probably pouting.

“You’re so difficult sometimes,” complained Will.

“Well I-“

“Will you two quit your yapping?” I snapped with my eyes still closed.

“She lives!” exclaimed a familiar yet unfamiliar voice. I opened my eyes to reveal none other than Andy Mrotek in nothing but some green short shorts and Gabe Saporta in his usual bright clothing. I pushed Will off of me and sat up.

“Oww, my back hurts,” I whined as I tried to crack it by stretching.

“About that…” Will said uncomfortably. “I’m sorry, I hadn’t realized you were there and-“

“Yeah right Bill, when I saw you two last night you had the biggest smile plastered on your face,” Gabe said and then turned his attention to me. “I’m Gabriel Eduardo Saporta.” He then winked at me and proceeded to kiss my hand. I blushed profusely until Will cleared his throat.

“And I’m Chelsea May Cabado,” I smiled. “Nice to meet you.”

“Same here,” he responded. “I can’t believe I’m finally meeting you. I’ve heard a lot about you and not to mention you were shown quite a lot on last night’s TAI TV.”

“What?! I was?!” I said as my eyes grew wide and I jumped off the couch. “Excuse me for a few minutes you guys.” I sprinted up the stairs and went right to Fall Out Boy’s designated room. Upon seeing me, Patrick smiled.

“Good morning sunshine,” he said as he picked out a shirt and jeans from one of his duffel bags. “Did you sleep good last night?”

“If you call waking up with a stiff neck and back and having your body feel numb, then yes it was wonderful,” I joked. “But onto more serious business. I kind of sort of need to borrow your laptop real quick. It’s an emergency.”

“Oh sure, give it back anytime,” he said as he took his silver macbook from it’s case and handed it to me. “If you don’t mind me asking what do you need it for?”

“Will you two shut up?” Joe said grouchily. “A man needs his sleep.”

“Shut up Joe, I was just leaving,” I retorted before turning my attention back to Patrick. “Well I heard I was the star in the newest installment of TAI TV from a certain Gabe Saporta and judging by all the times Jack and Sisky or Jack and Ryan caught me, things don’t look too good.”

“Good luck with that,” he said as I walked out of the room and back into the hallway. I situated myself against a wall and sat criss-cross applesauce style with the laptop literally on my lap. I clicked on safari and typed theacademyis.com onto the address bar. I held my breath as the page began to load and the video started buffering. When it was one hundred percent fully loaded I hesitantly clicked the play button and prepared myself for what was about to come.

The usual beep that came at the beginning and end of every TAI TV episode flowed through the speakers before the multicolored TV screen changed to a black background with the phrase, “ The young woman you are about to see is no more than just a friend.” in white all uppercase white letters. I rolled my eyes as the screen then changed to a neon pink with, “I repeat, she is just a friend!” typed out in even larger white lettering.

As the episode rolled on it showed my various encounters with Ryan in the bathroom, Will on the couch, and Sisky in bed. After Ryan’s sequence they showed a clip of him saying, “Chelsea May is just a friend.” As for Will’s part they taped him saying, “Chelsea and I are not lovers.” And Sisky’s ended with a shot of him holding up a sign that said Chelsea May + Sisky Biz = FRIENDZZZ! My eyes widened as a clip of Ashlee and I dancing in our bathing suits to the Backstreet Boys followed the picture of Sisky and his sign. After that, a clip of Ashlee saying that I was just a friend -all the while giggling- played. It then went on to show various band members currently staying at the house saying that I was just a friend in their own special way.

It then ended with The Butcher –shirtless- smiling at the camera while saying, “Chelsea May is more than a friend.” He then began to wiggle his eyebrows before a hand reached out and punched him in the chest.

“Oww man what was that for?!” he whined, rubbing his now red chest.

“You weren’t supposed to say that,” Bill said angrily before the scene was replaced with the TAI TV logo. But shortly after it switched to a white background with bold black letters that read, “The Academy Is… Panic at the Disco Fall Out Boy and everyone else shown on here today want you to know that Chelsea is just a friend.” I sighed and turned off the computer before going over to Patrick and handing it back.

“How’d it go?” he asked.

“Him,” I growled lowly as I approached Joe’s sleeping figure.

“What are you doing?” Patrick whispered. Instead of answering him I smacked the back of Joe’s Jewfro.

“Oww,” Joe said, fully waking up and rubbing the back of his head. “What did I do now?!”

“Oh hmm how about, ‘Chelsea May is just a friend,’ ?” I glared at him.

“What?! It’s true, you are just a friend. What did you want me to say oh Chelsea May is more than a friend?” he defended.

“How bout saying nothing at all?” I argued. “There wasn’t even footage of you and me doing anything!”

“It’s just a joke gosh, learn to live a little,” he mumbled quietly. I fake lunged at him as he hid under the covers.

“You are so lucky, I’m nice,” I said, shaking my head and walking out of the room. “If you’ll just excuse me, I need to go talk to some of the others who took part in this.”