To The End

I fumbled with the oxygen mask above me as screams and sirens filled the air. I managed to slip the band around my head and secure the mask to my face after numerous tries with shaky hands. The little girl in the seat next to me was panicking and having problems sitting still as her mother tried to fasten the mask on her.

I looked away and to the flight attendant, who was helping a mother and her infant child with detaching the bottom of the seat to be used as a life preserver. Everyone was frantic, children were crying, and lovers were holding on to each other.

It shouldn’t have to end like this. One plane ride should not cost anyone their life. But here we all are, thousands of feet in the air and descending rapidly. I looked out the window and down at the ocean below us.

I couldn’t help but let my regret wash over me. I shouldn’t have left him the way I did. I didn’t even let him have a chance to explain, I just packed up and left, explaining that I needed to get away for a while. I had seen the look on his face, the heartbreak clearly displayed for me to see, but I hadn’t cared, I just left.

I flipped open my cell phone for the last time, looking for service, but there still wasn’t any, so I settled for reading through his desperate text messages. Reading them made me feel even guiltier, it had been nothing more than a big misconception that he had been caught in the middle of. He had left seven new texts since I had left, but the last one made everything sink in.

I love you. Those three words caused the tears to begin. He loves me, and I love him, but this is it. This is the end for me and I can’t even tell him I’m sorry. He won’t know how guilty I feel. He won’t know that I am loving him to the end.

And he won’t even know that I am carrying his child.