Battle of the Bands, Battle of the Hearts

The past week had been unbearably awkward. Tony had told Vic and Mike about Trusting Yesterday's offer for me to play with them. There had been a stunned silence, but they had basically echoed Tony's sentiment. Live for myself, do what I think is right, blah blah blah. But I could hear what neither of them said.

Well, at least we've got Hi-me.

It just kept showing me how Nick Watson had been right. Sure, they valued me as a friend and a sister, I knew that. But as a bassist? I wasn't necessarily anything irreplaceable to them. It was enough to knock me back on my ass. Everything I had thought about my band had suddenly come crumbling down in the past 2 months. All because of Hi-me.

Hi-me.

He was oddly aloof and hadn't sent any stinging remarks my way. In fact, he hadn't spoken to me at all, even though I'm sure he knows about Trusting Yeseterday's offer. He seemed so lost in his own world. He was a never ending puzzle and I just couldn't figure him out.

I loved him.

I knew that.

But did that change anything? I suppose if he loved me as well it might. But he had yet to vocalize anything of the sort or even give me a slight hint that my affections might be recipricated. So I was stuck. To go or not to go.

I sighed and strummed my fingers on the cement wall on the roof of my apartment building. I had been standing up there for two hours and the sun was slowly setting. The heavy cement door slammed closed behind me. I looked over my shoulder and saw Hi-me walking toward me.

"Hey, Kai."

"Hey." I replied. Hi-me leaned against the stone wall next to me, following my gaze out to the city skyline.

"So Tony told me about Trusting Yesterday. Looks like you'll skip the whole starving musician phase, huh?" Hi-me stated. I chuckled lightly.

"Yeah."

"You going to do it?" Hi-me looked over at me. I sighed.

"I don't know yet. But at least that way I'll be out of your oddly shaped hair." I forced a joke but to no avail. A silence ensued and I started tapping my foot anxiously.

"Don't go." Hi-me whispered. I started and my head flew to look at him.

"What?" I murmered. Hi-me raised his eyes to look at me.

"Don't go. Stay with us." I tilted my head to observe him.

"If I stay, you're out of a job." Hi-me raised an eyebrow.

"Who said you would win?" I rolled my eyes and pushed off the wall.

"Even if I DO win, who's to say we'll ever leave San Diego? The opportunity to tour and make a name for myself is being handed to me, no questions asked! If I stay, look at what I'm passing up, Hi-me! Not to mention-" I was getting hysterical. Hi-me suddenly reached out and grasped my biceps, stopping me. He pressed his lips to mine and every nerve in my body screamed in satisfaction and my very bones melted. He slowly pulled away from me, letting his lips linger sweetly on mine.

"It's Jaime," He whispered, his soft emerald eyes looking earnestly at me. "And even if I beat you for the position, I still want you to stay."

This was the moment of truth.

"Why?" I whispered, not letting my eyes leave his. Jaime stared at me and he sucked in a deep breath.

"Because...I enjoy being around you. I care about you even though half the time we're at eachother's throats. I like you." This concession, I could tell, was huge for him. And maybe if we had been open like this two months ago instead of diving head first into this lust and hate fueled battle of hearts, things would have turned out differently. But it hadn't.

And right now 'like' wasn't enough for me to pass this up.

It took every fiber of my being to pull away from him. Jaime stared at me, confused.

"What?"

"Hi-me, just...go. Please." I whispered, taking another step backward. Anger suddenly flamed in his eyes.

"Why? Why should I go? Why are you always telling me to fucking GO?!" He shouted, grasping my arms again.

"Because I can't do this, Hi-me! Don't you understand? This is best for both of us. If I let this stupid competition run it's course, one of us is going to get fucked." I stated.

"You didn't care about that before, what happened in the past 2 weeks that made you start caring what happened?" He asked, his voice low and dangerous. My mouth curved slightly. I fell in love with you

"I was finally honest with myself. When this whole thing started I was just pissed someone challenged me. This wasn't about business, it was personel. Now I'm looking at it logically. This band isn't about who's friends with who or who's related to who. We both need this to make a living and this way you'll play with them and I'll still get to play. We both win this way, Hi-me."

Except my heart loses. Again.

Jaime pulled me closer so our noses were almost touching.

"It's Jaime, damn it!" He hissed. "Why the hell did you have to become become so damn logical?"

"Guess I'm just special." I responded quietly. His resolve visably broke with those words and his voice got softer and weaker.

"What do I need to say, Kailyn? Please, just tell me what to say." My heart broke and I tasted the salt from the tear rolling down my cheek.

"You already said it." I whispered, looking away from him. He continued to stare at me and then dropped my arms and walked off of the roof. I sucked in a staggering breath and wiped the remaining tears from my face before walking over to the edge of the roof again to stare at the now completely darkened sky.

"Goodbye, Jaime." I whispered to the sky. I took a breath to steady myself and dug my phone and the napkin out of my pocket. I dialed the number and held it to my ear.

"Hey, Nick? Yeah, It's Kailyn. I'm in." I looked back at the door behind me.

Love can wait.