This is Our Fate

Samantha's POV:

My fingers intertwined with his curly hair as he sobbed onto my shoulder. I continued to sit on the floor of my living room, indian style with him kneeled low in front of me. I was still a bit shocked by the way he just came in my house, sobbing his eyes out. Let me explain how we got here.

"Samantha," I heard a voice say.

I turned around from playing with my cat on the floor.

"Nick, what's wrong?" I asked as he rushed over to me and began sobbing onto my shoulder.

So, that's how we got here. And I think I know what happened. The same thing has been happening to him for the past two years, but I'd never seen him like this before. This wasn't Nick, my Nick. My best friend of ten years. He continued to sob and slur descriptions of what happened but couldn't be understood.

"Nick," I said, shushing him lightly. "Now tell me what happened, take a second and catch your breath."

The older boy and I released our embrace before he ran his shaking hands over his cheeks and then the back of his left hand under his nose. He sniffed before his brown eyes looked into my eyes.

"It happened again, except this time in front of the whole school," he stated.

I shook my head and regretted that dentist appointment that made me leave school early.

"Nick, I'm so sorry," I said, feeling horrible. "Did any teachers or the principal see?"

He shook his head and I sighed. You see, Nick is shy and keeps to himself most of the time but these guys at our school seem to have a problem with it. They always pick on Nick. They either beat him up, throw him in a dumpster or verbally abuse him.

"What did they do?" I asked, fearing the answer.

"All three," he whispered, lifting up his shirt to reveal black, blue and purple bruises across his ribs.

I gasped slightly before lightly tracing my fingers against them. I felt tears reach my eyes. They were hurting Nick, my Nick.

"This has to stop," I said, firmly. "If you don't tell the principal about it, I will."

"No," Nick said lowering his shirt and gripping my wrist. "If you tell and they get suspended, when they get back to school...I'll get it ten times worse."

"But Nick-"

"No, Sam, we can't."

I stared at him before swallowing hard, letting the tears that had gathered in my eyes stream down my cheeks. I stood up, leaving him still kneeling on the floor as I walked into the kitchen. I cried silently while fixing myself a glass of water. I heard Nick picking himself up off the floor as I turned the cold knob off to stop the water.

"Sam, I-"

"Don't," I snapped, accidentally. "I'm trying to help you and I may be fourteen, but I know if this doesn't stop, you're going to get seriously hurt."

I turned my back to him as I stared out the window into my backyard. I heard Nick's footsteps behind me as I set my water on the counter to my right, crossing my arms over my chest, the tears continuing to stream down my face. I lifted my left hand and wiped my cheeks gently. I felt Nick's arms wrap around my waist as I lowered my hands to wrap around his wrists. I leaned my head back gently onto his shoulder

"I just care about you, Nick," I said.

"I know you do," he said, sighing.

I turned around, embracing him lightly, not wanting to press against the fresh bruises. I closed my eyes, breathing in deep, our memories rushing through my head. Then one stuck out to me.

We sat in my room, indian style, staring at each other. We were so young, timid and scared. He was seven and I was six, almost seven.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"I don't know. I'm scared," I whispered, my hands beginning to shake lightly.

"Samantha, please don't be scared," Nick said, clutching my hands."We don't have to do this."

I felt tears reach my eyes as my N'Sync tape switched to the next song, "God Most Have Spent a Little More Time On You".

"What if your mom, my mom, Kevin or Joe walk in?" I asked, thoughts rushing through my head.

"I promise you they won't, but like I said, we don't have to do this," he stated.

At this point, Nick and I had been friends for three years. Lately we had been holding hands just as friends, but because we were young, we thought we had to kiss to be able to hold hands.

"But, I like holding you hand, I feel, I don't know, protected," I smiled, feeling myself blush as the tears started to fall down my cheeks.

"Sammi, please don't cry," Nick pleaded. "I don't like seeing you cry."

"I'm sorry," I said, smiling bright. "I think I'm ready now."

"You sure?" he asked, still clutching onto my hands.

I nodded. "Uh-huh."

I saw Nick lean forward and I did the same, our hands still intact. I felt our lips gently peck together before we pulled away. We both smiled at each other, toothy child smiles. We never told anybody about the awkward kiss. We haven't even thought about kissing each other since that day.

We remained there, still hugging each other.

"You know, Nick?" I asked and got a sweet "hmmm?" in reply. "Me caring about you this much, kind of...well, makes me love you."

I felt Nick release his embrace on me as I did the same. We stood there, just staring at each other, it felt like that day all over again.

"You-" Nick said, breathing out nervously. "You love me?"

I nodded, looking down at my bare feet, my skinny jeans hugging firmly around my ankles. I began tugging on the hem of my Paramore shirt. My red, straight hair hanging over my face and green eyes.

"I shouldn't have said that," I whispered, lifting my head to look to the right, pushing my hand underneath my bangs and onto my forehead.

"No, I-I'm glad you did," Nick stuttered. "I, um, I feel the same way."

I lowered my hand and slowly turned my head. Then we were back to where we were before, just staring at each other. I felt the heat rising in my cheeks, I laughed, nervously of course, before grabbing my glass of water and walked back into the living room. I sat down on the couch, pulling my legs up to sit indian style. I rested the glass of water in my hands as it remained on my lap. I saw Nick stand in front of me as I took a sip of my water and lowered it back down.

"What's wrong?" he asked as I sat my water on the end table.

I didn't answer him, I just stared at him, contemplating in my head if he was just like every other guys. The ones that claim to love me and have the biggest crush on me and I almost start falling for them, but then the next week they have a girlfriend.

"What is wrong with you?" Nick asked, snapping his fingers in my face.

I crossed my arms over my chest. "How do I know you're not like every other guy?"

Nick looked at me, shocked. "Sam, you know I'm not like every other guy. You've known me for ten years! You know I'd never tell you or anyone else that I loved them without meaning it."

I scoffed slightly, rolling my eyes. "They all use the, 'I would never tell someone I loved them without meaning it', phrase."

"But can they say this?" Nick asked, kneeling in front of me and taking my hands. "Whenever I see you, my heart beats twenty times more than it should. Whenever I heard the words 'beauty' or 'love' your face pops in my mind. When Kevin or Joe tell me that you're on the phone, I rush downstairs so I can hear your voice. Whenever I write a song about love, your face is stuck in my mind. When I pray at night, at church or anytime for that matter, your safety is what I pray for most. When a teacher tells us to write something we admire most, I want to write about you but I can't. And when you stare at me all those times-" he stopped and looked at me. "I wish I could kiss you and tell you how much you mean to me. But, it killed me to know I couldn't. I've never told another girl that I loved them, only you. You're the only reason I go to school everyday and put up with those bullies. Just so I can see your face, your beautiful green eyes, your smile and hear your breathtaking laugh. Samantha Ashley Johnson, I am truly in love with you."

I stared at him in complete and utter shock. I didn't know what to say, but then again what could I say? I could never match up to that.

"Please say something," Nick whispered, studying over my face.

"I don't know what to say," I whispered.

"Just something," he whispered. "Something to let me know you don't think I'm crazy."

I continued to stare at him. I didn't think he was crazy but he needed more than that for him to know I didn't think he was crazy. Then it clicked.

"I love you," the words fell perfectly from my mouth.

I heard Nick laugh lightly in relief as I saw a huge smile appear on his face. I smiled back, feeling a bit of relief as well. Then it got awkward. He was still holding onto my hands and staring at me. The thoughts continued to rush through my head as I thought about that one time, that one time when Nick saved my life.

I can remember it like it was yesterday. I didn't mean to do it, it was an accident.

"Sam," I heard Nick's voice echo through my house. "Hello?"

I remained in the bathroom, scared for my life. It was a week after my tenth birthday, which is August first. Nick and I are only the same age for a month and sixteen days. I began to shake with fear.

"Sam, are you home?" I heard Nick's footsteps begin to come up the steps.

I looked at the open bathroom door as everything began to spin. I saw Nick stop in the doorway.

"Sam, what have you done," he asked rushing over to me.

"I didn't mean to," I said weakly as everything began to go black. "It was an accident."

I then blacked out and woke up six hours later in the hospital. My right wrist was stitched up. I looked up to see Nick in front of me, sitting in a chair, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Nick, I-"

"Why did you do it?" he asked.

"I didn't mean to, it was an accident," I explained. "I went to put up the toothpaste on the second shelf of the medicine cabinet in the bathroom with my left hand. On the way up I hit my dad's razor, causing it to fall and cut my right wrist open. Do you see now? I would never hurt myself on purpose."

At the point I had tears streaming down my cheeks, too. Nick got up and walked over to me, tears still falling from his eyes.

"I know you wouldn't," he said before we clutched each other. "You just scared me. I would never want to lose you."

We continued crying for atleast ten minutes before the nurse came in to check on me. Nick stayed with me the whole night, in each others arms in my bed. My parents came when I was sleeping to check me out for the next morning then left, they didn't even come to see me. The next morning I went home with the Jonas' until the next day when they drove me home.

"Sam, are you okay, you've been spacing out a lot today?" Nick said, still in front of me, holding my hands.

"Yeah," I said, looking down at the scar on my right wrist. "I'm fine."

"I remember that day," I heard Nick say and I looked up to see him staring at my right wrist. "I was so scared," he whispered. "I thought I was going to lose you."

I took my left hand from his and tilted his head up so our eyes met. "I'll never be lost."

It was now my turn to tell Nick how I felt about him.

"Nick," I said, taking his hands now firmly in mine. "You are my best friend. Without you, I would seriously die. You're the only one that's ever cared about me this much. My parents don't care about me. They leave early in the morning for work then don't get home until late. It's been that way since I was seven. I ride my bike to everything but school. I schedule my own dentist and doctor appointments. My parents wouldn't care if I died. You're the only person that has showed interest in me, ever. You taught me how to ride a bike, how to push myself on a swing, you even taught me how to make your famous Nicky J pancakes, and more importantly, you taught me that people do care. When I slit my wrist that one day on accident, you showed me that you'd never leave me, that you'd always be there. And I have to say that one time when all those girls at school were flirting with you, my heart broke. But I never let it show because if one of those girls made you happy, I'd be happy. But when you never talked to them again, not to sound cliche', but my heart mended and I knew I had a chance again. I love you, Nicholas Jerry Jonas and I hope you'll never leave me," I said, now crying my eyes out as Nick pulled me into a warm embrace.

I heard Nick shushing me lightly. "I'll never leave you, never."

I continued to cry softly onto his shoulder. Nick was really the only thing I had left. His hand gently rubbed up and down my back. I nuzzled my face into his neck still crying.

"You promise you'll never leave?" I whispered.

"I promise," he whispered.

I smiled as I held him closer to me. I would never want to lose Nick. He's the only true thing my life. Everyone else around me lies.

"Have you ever lied to me, Nick?" I asked, curiously.

"Only once," he said and I pulled out of our embrace.

"When?" I asked, slightly shocked.

"That one time you went out with Danny on a Friday night and you asked if I'd be okay and I said 'yes'," he said. "When I was really crushed inside.

"Aww, Nick," I said hugging him close to me. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," he said. "I never told you how I felt so I can only blame myself."

"You can always be honest with me, I promise," I said.

Our memories rushed through my head again and I began laughing. Nick pulled away and looked at me.

"What?" he asked.

I laughed again. "Do you remember that one time when we replaced Kevin's shampoo with strawberry milk and his conditioner with marshmellow crème?"

Nick laughed. "Yeah, he came out with globs of pink marshmellow crème in his hair."

"Yeah, it was hysterical, but Kevin didn't think so," I said as we continued to laugh.

"Neither did my parents," Nick stated. "But I told them I did it all so you wouldn't get in trouble."

"When Kevin and Joe both knew I planned it all, you just helped me get the supplies and put them in the bottles," I said, the both of us still laughing.

"You've always been a trouble maker," he said, our laughter dying down.

I shrugged. "What can I say, it's my specialty."

We laughed again lightly. I felt my face and the slightly wet tears still planted there. I wiped them away as I heard the front door open and I turned around.

"Hey Nick, mom and dad want you home," Kevin said, spinning his key ring around his index finger.

I looked at Nick, my eyes pleading for him to stay. I couldn't have him leave right after we've spilled our feelings for each other. I took his hands in mine and mouthed a 'please stay'.

"Uh, Kev," Nick said, smiling at me. "I'm going to spend the night here. It's Friday right?"

"Uhh, yeah," Kevin said, slightly confused at the situation. "I'm gonna go now."

"Okay, bye," Nick said, staring into my eyes.

I smiled, staring into Nick's eyes as we heard the door close.

"When you look me in the eyes, and tell me that you love me," Nick sang softly. "Everything's alright, when you're right here by my side and when you look me in the eyes, I catch a glimpse of Heaven. I find my paradise, when you look me in the eyes."

"That's pretty. Where's it from?" I asked, rubbing my thumbs over the top of his hands.

He smiled. "I wrote it, for you."

I bit my lip softly as we continued to look into each other's eyes.

"Thank you," I said. "Wanna watch a movie?"

"Yeah, sure," he said, doing that cute little side smile he does.

"Alright, you pick out that movie and I'll get you a drink, what do you want?" I asked as he moved backwards and stood up.

I stood up as well as Nick smiled at me.

"Diet Dr. Pepper will be fine," he said.

"Okay," I said, cheerfully. "You know where the movies are."

I walked into the kitchen, a huge smile on my face. This was the best day of my life. I grabbed the Diet Dr. Pepper before walking out into the living room to see Nick putting the movie in.

"What are we watching?" I asked, placing Diet Dr. Pepper next to my water on the end table.

"The Notebook," he said, turning around and smiling at me.

"That's my favorite movie," I said, pulling a blanket from the closet.

"I know, that's why I picked it," he said.

I smiled at him as he scratched the back of his head and blushed.

"Hey, my Diet Dr. Pepper," he said, trying to break the awkwardness in the room.

I giggled softly as I pressed play on the DVD remote.

"So, uh-"

"Let's get comfortable," Nick said.

After a minute of situating ourselves and a few groans, we managed to get comfortable. So, we lay there, watching the movie. Nick was laying behind me, his elbow resting on the couch with the left side of his face resting in it. I lay in front of him, his arm laying over my torso with our fingers laced together, a blanket gently over our bodies. I yawned silently as Nick rested his head on my shoulder. I turned my head slightly to look at him.

"Tired?" I asked smiling.

"Just a little," he said yawning.

I giggled softly, turning around to look at him, our fingers lacing back together after I got situated.

"Now about these bullies," I said. "Are you going to tell the principal? Wait, do your parents know?"

Nick shook his head.

"Nick!" I said shocked. "Does anyone but me know?"

"Other than the whole school? No," he said, kind of ashamed.

"Can you promise me something?" I asked.

"What?" he asked.

"Promise me that you'll tell the principal about the guys picking on you," I said, messing with the collar of his shirt.

He sighed, looking into my eyes. "I promise."

I smiled. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said smiling.

"Did you ever tell anyone the way you felt about me?" I asked.

"Only Joe," Nick said. "But that's because I wanted to know what to do. I was so confused. You've been my friend for ten years. I didn't know how you would react if I told you."

"Wait, when did you start liking me?" I asked.

"At the spring dance, two years ago," he mumbled.

"Was that when I wore the red dress and black pumps and my hair was curled?" I asked. "If so, I did look good."

"Yeah," he said, laughing then zoned out.

"Hey, stop picturing me in your head," I said, wacking his shoulder softly. "It's creepin' me out."

"Oh, sorry, you just looked so beautiful," he said, blushing. "So, uh, when did you start liking me?"

"That night in the hospital," I mumbled, just like him.

"That long?" he asked, his jaw dropping.

"Yeah, but I haven't told anyone. There's really no one to tell," I stated. "You don't know how many times I've wanted to tell you but I couldn't bring myself to do it."

"Well, I'm glad you did," he said, intertwining his fingers with mine again.

"Well, I'm glad you did too," I said smiling. "You know, we're not watching this movie at all."

"I'm to busy watching you," he said.

I smiled at him, blushing lightly. He was perfect, I could never ask for a better best friend. I closed my eyes, running my hands over my face, sighing.

"What?" Nick asked.

"You're so perfect," I said, looking up at him. "And...I'm not."

"Yes, you are," he said. "You're amazingly perfect."

I giggled. "I could argue about that with you all day."

"You are perfect, Samantha," he said, smiling bright at me. "And no arguing, I won't listen."

I laughed. "Alright, I'm not agreeing but I won't argue."

Nick lightly nuzzled his face into my neck. I smiled, rubbing his back gently.

"You know where the sun forgets to shine, I'll be there to hold you through the night. We'll be running so fast we can fly, tonight. And ever when we're miles and miles apart you're still holdin' all of my heart. I promise it will never be dark. I know, we're inseperable," he sang softly as I smiled wider.

He pulled his head up and looked at me. "Did you like it?"

"I loved it," I said, lacing my fingers with his.

"Eh," he said, pulling his fingers back. "We can't hold hands."

"Why?" I asked, drawn back.

"We haven't kissed yet," he stated.

"Well, uh-"

I felt his lips gently lock with mine as I placed my hands on his face. We released the kiss and I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Never let go," I said as he wrapped his arms around my torso.

"I'll never let go, Sam."