Let Me Break This Awkward Silence

Chapter 2

So 20 minutes later I’m grabbing my Backpack and my messenger bag and was waiting for my social security worker to get out of coach. After ten minutes of waiting for the idiot, he finally appeared and we headed off to baggage claim.

After fighting with my bags for fifteen bloody minutes trying to get the damn things off of those carousel baggage things, and then trying to go upstream the wave of people trying to go down to where I just was, did we finally head out to the curve. To only sit there for another 15 minutes watching the same black mustang circle.

I was getting oddly entertained by it watching the thing drive lazily around in the same path over and over again, the windows were too dark to see the driver, probably would have been funny to see what they were doing as they circled this road like a vulture. I went through two packs of skittles and was about to start my third when I think the black mustang finally noticed me (or the angry and cold social worker flagging him down.)

I think its a little cold, I mean sitting in a charter buss from Peoria to Tucson around the end of November, with the top window open. And all your wearing is running shorts, a thin band shirt, black knee socks, marching shoes and your band sweatshirt, you get pretty damn cold. Me being a freshman, I didn’t think to bring a pair of long pants or a blanket for the ride back.

Too bad I won’t be able to do it next year. Unless my new school had a Marching Band, and I was starting to think that I might not do it…Belleview wasn’t exactly Peoria, if you know what I mean. Don’t get me wrong, I was glad I got to do it this year, even if some people thought I shouldn’t have be there, that I should be in mourning from my mothers death or something.

Trust me I cried for 2 straight weeks, I really don’t think I have any tears left in me. You know what’s really weird? Is that I feel like I’m not myself, like I see everything happen but I’m powerless to stop it. Anyway, I think that I was right to go on the Band trip; my mom would have wanted me to. Besides, we ended up getting a Superior (first ever to have happed in our school, by the way) and it was just an awesome experience.

The car finally slowed down and parked on the curve in front of me.

“Alyssa?” A man said getting out of the car with huge sunglasses on (though only God knows why he was wearing them it was so cloudy we had trouble landing!).

I saw him eyeing the Jack Skellington fingerless gloves, my ripped jeans, pinned together with safety pins, striped socks that shown through the holes, my old beaten-up black Doc Martins, the Evanescence concert tee barely showing through the Panic at the Disco jacket that was covered by the black fleece Jack Skellington jacket that my friend Kaysi sent me; the heavy black eyeliner, lip ring, skull earrings, and black hair that I streaked purple a couple weeks ago.

I think I was reminding him why he wrote the song Teenagers, don’t you?

Sadly, I think he was more concerned with the big burly guy next to me. How that guy was a Social worker was beyond me. Why they couldn’t have had one of my mom’s friends come with me is beyond me.

“Yeah?” I said looking at the guy. I knew it was Gerard, heck anyone can recognize his voice (and the bleached white hair is a dead give away).

“I’m your dad, Gerard…” he said taking off his sunglasses awkwardly.

“Yeah I figured, so you want to help me? Or are you going to just stand there awkwardly?” I asked annoyed.

“Oh yeah sorry…” He said, going around the car and helping me get my suitcases in the trunk.

“Mr. Way, you’ve signed all the papers correct?” My social asked him, just standing there, not helping. For a social worker, he needed to work on his social skills.

“Yes, I signed them last month and faxed them to your office.” Gerard said smiling, well attempting to. It was more of a guilty smile, like he’d done something wrong.

My social worker nodded and came up to me and handed me his card, and said “If you ever need anything call the number on the card.”

“Yeah, thanks.” I said getting my wallet out of my back pocket and putting the card in there. I saw Gerard’s eyes go wide when he saw the chain. I thought it was so awesome, so did my friend Gavin, on more than one occasion did he try to steal it. It was little mini daggers connected by normal chain links.

Now I was sure I was reminding him why he wrote the song. I think I was also scaring him, just a little bit.

“So how long were you sitting out there?” Gerard said trying to start a conversation.

“About 15 minutes, 2 packs of skittles and watching you circle about 10 times, you?” I smirked taking out my Ipod and getting into the car.

We drove there in an awkward silence (well it was awkward for Gerard, not me, I knew this was going to happen and could care less), for about ten more minutes before Gerard spoke again.

“Look I know I haven’t been around for most of your –“

“No shit Sherlock.” I snapped rolling my eyes.

“Life, but I was maybe thinking that we could –“

“Yeah not a chance, see state law requires that I live with a parent or guardian until I am 18
years of age, which is basically only 3 years away, give or take 25 days. “

“Look I know you’re more than a little pissed off, right now –“

“No, I’m ready the prance through a meadow with joy.”

“- But that doesn’t give a license to be a bitch,”

“Bitch, me? No, see I prefer the term royally pissed.[/]”

Gerard started to say something but I cut him off, yet again.

“Look, I liked the arrangement that we had before, you weren’t in my life and I wasn’t in yours,”

“Well look here –“

“Just shut it, will you? Just…Shh – up – bup – bup – bup – bup; look I’m only a burden for you for 3 more years and 25 more pain staking days. The minute I turn 18 I’m out of this hell hole.”

“Hey this ‘hell hole’ is your home!”

“Yeah right, my home is back in Arizona with my friends; with Hunter, Kim, Rebecca, Ted,
and Gavin!”

“Will you just shut the fuck up!?”

“No I don’t think I will, I have a lot more sarcastic remarks about how you left me and my mom –“

“Just shut up! I was 16 years old!”

“So was she you slut! She was only 16 fucking years old! And she raised me, got her G.E.D. and went to college and got a good paying job! What did you do?” I yelled in his face.
“I’ll tell you what you did. You ignored me for the past 15 fucking years! The only person in the entire Way family who didn’t ignore us, was your fucking grandmother. Did mine ever pay attention to me? NO! Instead you all just ignored us, shunned us.
“So why don’t you just shut the hell up and let me live my fucking life with little interaction as possible.” I finished glaring at him.

I probably was looking like the stereotype for Goths, glaring at everything and hating the world.

The rest of the ride was silent.

I was playing Solitaire on my Ipod, ignoring Gerard, while he was gripping the steering wheel with enough force to turn his knuckles white, and glaring at the road.

“I’m sorry.” Gerard said when we pulled into the garage.

“You damn well should be,” I muttered.