Let Me Break This Awkward Silence

Chapter 22

Alyssa’s Point of View

I stepped out of the shower, and turned on the fan so the steam would disappear.

As I was drying off and getting dressed, I pondered how to get out of meeting my
grandparents.

I could pretend to be sick! No, then Kaysi won’t be able to come over, then you’ll be bored.

I could just say no. Gerard won’t care.

I could runaway! To where? Kaysi’s house will be the first place he’ll look. But Kaysi and Susan will hide me right? You better damn hope so.

I headed downstairs wearing black skinny jeans, a purple long sleeve shirt and a back over shirt with a white silhouette of the Cheshire Cat.

I was almost downstairs when I heard Gerard attempting not to yell.

“Deal with it! We’ve ignored them for fifteen years! You can’t expect her to welcome you with open arms! ...Because she doesn’t like us! None of us were there when Amelia died, when she was born or at anytime in her life! Hell, the only Way’s that Alyssa cares about is Mikey and my Grandmother! Not hers. Mine.” He yelled, snapping the phone shut and glaring at Mikey.

“Don’t look at me, I’m not Mom.” He said holding his hands up defensively.

“I know. Hey, did Alicia finish the stocking?” Gerard asked, changing the subject to a more neutral one. He stood there looking at the six stockings that were hung over the fireplace.
I strained my eyes to see the details that were stitched onto the stockings. One had random comic book characters (I was too far away to see who the characters were, I think one of them was Batman…), and had ‘Gerard’ stitched in old Gothic letters. One had Anthrax and had Mikey stitched on the red stocking. The one next to Mikey’s had a guitar with PANSY and Frank stitched in bright multicolored birthday letters. The one I assumed to be Bob’s was next and that is only because it had drumsticks on it. Ray’s had a cupcake on it with RIP above it.

The last one was mine, I know that not just because it was the last one there, or because it had my name written across in purple and black letters, but because it was the stocking that Elena made me when I was five.

It had Lock, Shock and Barrel in there amazing bathtub, and it had Zero flying above them.

“Yeah, do you want it at Mom’s or here?” Mikey asked.

“Umm….”

“How ‘bout we ask her?” Mike suggested.

Deciding that was the perfect time to continue downstairs, I spoke up, “Ask Alyssa what?”

They both stared at me for a couple minutes before Mikey hit Gerard’s shoulder, getting him to speak.

“Well, your um Aunt Alicia – or just Alicia if you want, you seem to like calling Mikey, Mikey, and not Uncle Mikey, but that could be a lot of reasons, and I’m sure that Alicia wouldn’t mind, because well, it could make feel old if you called her Aunt –“

Gerard would have continued, if Mikey didn’t hit him in the shoulder again.

“Point! Alicia made you a stocking because then you’ll have one for your grandparents
house, and well, since you have one here, she was wondering if you wanted hers at your grandparents, or here at the house..” Gerard blurted out.

“Um, well, what does it look like…?” I asked avoiding eye contact.

Mikey smiled seeing an opportunity that I didn’t see. “Well, you can see on Christmas when we go to Mom & Dads!”

Yeah….That’s not going to happen.

“No.” I said backing up. “I’m not going.”

Gerard glared at Mikey.

Mikey didn’t see (well, he saw the “shut up” glare, but didn’t take notice of it, or he did, and didn’t care) and kept going. “And why not?”

“Hello? I did not exist for fifteen years! I was shooed and glared out of my great-grandmothers funeral! Excuse the fuck out of me if I don’t want to see them!” I seethed, standing my ground.

“Okay, we get that you hate your grandparents and Gerard, why don’t you hate me?” Mikey said trying to control the small anger and annoyance that was seeping through.

“You didn’t abandon me, or my mother. You’re brother and Parents did. You spoke to my mother, the little time you did. You're parents didn’t. You didn’t have any control over the situation, they did!” I yelled, “I give credit where credit is due.”

“I didn’t see Amelia trying to communicate either!” Gerard snapped. “In fact, I remember her packing up her shit and leaving with my daughter!”

“People tend to do that when they aren’t wanted!!” I snapped back. “Especially when they get dirty looks from everybody, every god damn day!”

“She could have told me!”

“And what would she have said? ‘Hi, Gerard, sorry to tell you, but I’m moving out to Arizona, with your six month old daughter – which you still haven’t met by the way – here’s my address, call when you can?!’” I seethed. “It’s shit and you know it!!”

“She had no right to take you away.” Gerard yelled. Mikey in all of this, was looking dumbstruck, I guess he didn’t expect this to happen… “I’m your fucking father!!”

‘Well I didn’t see you running off to find me! You’re the fucking Father who abandoned me! A Father who showed no interest in me! A Father who didn’t give a flying fuck about me until my mother died.

"Oh Yes, you deserve Father of the fucking year! If you really gave a rat’s ass about where I was, you would have found me.” I said getting up in his face. “Keep your fucking stocking, and your fucking family. I want nothing to do with you people.”

“You people?! If I remember correctly it takes two to conceive a kid, and said child is related to both parents. Not which ever one they like more!!” Gerard yelled as I backed up.

“Oh yeah that is grand coming from you. Dear, you can only give a guilt trip if you’re innocent!! And according to your parents, I was never your child. Apparently, my mother was a slut who slept around, got pregnant, and said it was yours! In fact, I don’t think I was ever considered a ‘Way’ when my Mom was alive, so why the sudden change of heart?” I yelled getting right back into his face.

I smirked when he realized that there was nothing more to say, turning around I walked to the staircase only to turn around when I heard Gerard mutter, “We’re sorry.”

“Just ‘cause you say it, doesn’t mean you mean it.”