License to Love
So Hypocritical
Charlie came running upstairs minutes later, knocking on my door again. I wasn’t going to let him in. He knocked again, and finally he got the hint.
‘’Uh, Gerard doesn’t know what you’re talking ab-‘’ Charlie began to talk, but was cut off.
Then I heard him mumble something, and heard another pair of footsteps.
‘’Ari, can I come in?’’
‘’Fuck off, Gerard!’’ I yelled, throwing my pillow at the door.
‘’It’s not going to help having a childish tantrum, Ari. Just let me in. We can talk until you calm down,’’ He replied, sounding calm.
‘’Talk about what?! How much of a fucking idiot I am?! Yeah, you’d love that!’’ I shrieked.
‘’Please, Ari. Let me in,’’ He stated.
I sighed, and stumbled over to the door. I was going to regret this.
Twisting the knob, I opened the door and quickly ran back to my bed.
Gerard entered the room, shutting the door behind him.
‘’Why are you so upset?’’ He asked, sitting next to me.
‘’I’m so fucking stupid! I know you don’t feel that way about be! I know you don’t!’’ I whimpered, my cheeks becoming moist from the now cascading tears.
‘’Ssh, it’s okay. Everything is okay, don’t cry,’’ He whispered, shaking his head.
‘’No, it isn’t! It’s not okay!’’ I cried, hugging my legs and placing my head on my knees.
He shuffled over, so we were millimeters apart. I wrapped my arm around him, and he pulled me closer. Still crying, I crawled up into his lap and lay my head on his chest.
Why did I do this? Why did he do this? He said he couldn’t ever see me like that. But why did he comfort me like this? All he had to do was hug me. Hugs didn’t break my heart. But comforting me so intimately did. Because I knew we could be like that. He just wouldn’t allow it.
‘’Uh, Gerard doesn’t know what you’re talking ab-‘’ Charlie began to talk, but was cut off.
Then I heard him mumble something, and heard another pair of footsteps.
‘’Ari, can I come in?’’
‘’Fuck off, Gerard!’’ I yelled, throwing my pillow at the door.
‘’It’s not going to help having a childish tantrum, Ari. Just let me in. We can talk until you calm down,’’ He replied, sounding calm.
‘’Talk about what?! How much of a fucking idiot I am?! Yeah, you’d love that!’’ I shrieked.
‘’Please, Ari. Let me in,’’ He stated.
I sighed, and stumbled over to the door. I was going to regret this.
Twisting the knob, I opened the door and quickly ran back to my bed.
Gerard entered the room, shutting the door behind him.
‘’Why are you so upset?’’ He asked, sitting next to me.
‘’I’m so fucking stupid! I know you don’t feel that way about be! I know you don’t!’’ I whimpered, my cheeks becoming moist from the now cascading tears.
‘’Ssh, it’s okay. Everything is okay, don’t cry,’’ He whispered, shaking his head.
‘’No, it isn’t! It’s not okay!’’ I cried, hugging my legs and placing my head on my knees.
He shuffled over, so we were millimeters apart. I wrapped my arm around him, and he pulled me closer. Still crying, I crawled up into his lap and lay my head on his chest.
Why did I do this? Why did he do this? He said he couldn’t ever see me like that. But why did he comfort me like this? All he had to do was hug me. Hugs didn’t break my heart. But comforting me so intimately did. Because I knew we could be like that. He just wouldn’t allow it.