An Awfully Big Heartache

As a striking blonde haired young woman ran through the rather busy theatre all eyes stopped what they were doing and turned to see her go quickly past them. Everyone had wondered how long it would take the youngest member of their not so elite troupe to realise what they had found out not so long ago.

"Rose! Rose!" the woman yells as she enters a rather feminine room, "I was wondering how long it would take you" a female voice pitched in. The young blonde haired woman turned around to meet the soothing blue eyes of her elder friend Rose, "Is it true? Is he really back?" the woman asks in an unrecognisable tone. "Calm down love" Rose says softly, her motherly concern prominent, "Rose!" the woman yells impatiently. "Yes Clara he is back" Rose says as she reaches for the bottle of Scotch, if she was right she was going to need it, and as always she was.

"I am out of the production" Clara says rather adamantly, "Where are we going to find another person to play Jane in time? The production starts tomorrow" Rose asks as she takes a small sip of Scotch, "Well you found another Captain Hook in time, did you not?" Clara asks sarcastically.

"Clara you are the best actress here" Rose says softly trying to persuade Clara to stay, "Have you seen the women here?" Clara asks with a small laugh. "True" Rose says as she takes another sip of scotch, "Rose I love you but he makes my blood run cold" Clara says. "People change over time, after all you are not the same girl I met ten years ago" Rose says, "I hate when you are right, I will stay but if he comes near me I can not control my actions" Clara says with a sadistic grin. "I wouldn't expect it any other way" Rose says with a smile, "Ok, well now that is over and done with I am going to see how long it takes Meredith to crack" Clara says with a smile as she gives Rose a friendly hug and walks out of the room.

"P L you can come in now" Rose says as she watches Clara walk down the hallway, slowly O'Hara walks out from a small room next door, he heard every word that was said. "She really hates me doesn’t she?" P.L asks as he takes a glass of scotch that Rose hands him, "No, she does not hate you, she is carrying a lot inside, and you need to earn her trust" Rose says as she runs her hand along P.L's.

"Bunny I need a hug" Clara says as she sulks over to the stage manager and her close friend, "Everything will be fine" Bunny replies as he places a loving kiss on her cheek. After a few moments Clara looks up to realise that there are two people she had yet to meet staring at them, "Clara this is Stella and Geoffrey our new students" Bunny says with a smile.

"Nice to meet you" Clara says as she shakes their hands but she can't help but notice that Geoffrey is looking at her chest, she shoots Bunny a death glare. "This is Clara Reletto the female star of our performances" Bunny says with a smile, suddenly Clara becomes suspicious; the only time Bunny compliments her like that is when he wants something.

"Today she will be showing you the ropes" Bunny says while avoiding her gaze, "You're lucky I was only going to see Meredith other wise the only rope I would be showing you is a noose" Clara says with a look of seriousness on her face. "Bye" Bunny says as he heads off towards Rose's room.

As Clara gazes down at Stella she could not help but notice that she looked somewhat familiar, "So any questions before we start?" Clara asks. "Yes, who is this O'Hara character everyone is fussing over?" Geoffrey asks bluntly, "O'Hara is the actor hired to fill in for Dickie after he broke both his legs" Clara replies after a few moments.

"Yes I understand that but everyone is going around ripping out their hair trying to make things perfect for him" Geoffrey says, "Here is some money, go and get some lunch for the cast" Claire says as she hands Stella the money. "You didn’t answer my question" Jeffery says sternly, "P.L O'Hara is the best Captain Hook there has ever been" Clara says in a near yell, "Now go and get the food" she continues to yell as Stella and Geoffrey leave the theatre.

"Nice to know you think so highly of me" a smooth voice says out of no where, suddenly Clara turns around and comes face to well chest with P.L O'Hara. "I would appreciate if you would get out of my path" Clara says as she raises her head so they are now eye to eye, "I just want to talk" P.L says softly as he tries to reason with the fiery blonde.

"Well I do not wish to talk to you" Clara says as she shifts her gaze to the wall, "You can not ignore me forever" P.L says. "I can try, now please move I need to go and speak to Meredith" Clara says as he tries to push past P.L but he places his hand on her shoulder, "I am sorry, I always have been" P.L says as he gazes down at Clara.

Clara ignore P.L as she pulls her arm free from his grip and continues to walk to the stage leaving a rather angry O'Hara behind.

"Meredith!" exclaims Clara as she places an arm around the rather slender mans waist, "Clara I take it you know who's here?" Meredith asks as he adjusts his glasses. "Out of all the actors in Liverpool why did it have to be him" Clara begins to rant, "I know how you feel" Meredith says glumly. Clara sees the sad look on Meredith's face and immediately feels guilty, "Oh Meredith here I am complaining and I have yet to ask about you. How are things between you and Hillary?" Clara asks.

Suddenly Meredith's face drops, "Oh my darling" Clara says as she wraps her arms around him in a deep embrace. "He has not phoned, not written, I don't know what else to do" Meredith says softly, "He will come back, he loves you and of that I am sure" Clara whispers to Meredith as she gives him a hug and leaves him to grieve.

"What beauty to waste sitting on a cold stone floor, my heart does ache to see you in such sorrow" a smooth familiar voice says, "I believe I told you previously that I do not wish to be around you, can you not take the hint" Clara asks as she continues to stare at the ground. "I will not leave you here in this state, you deserve decent company" O'Hara says as he takes a seat on the ground beside her, "Then why did you sit?" Clara asks as the spite drips from her voice.

"Why must you continue to be so ignorant, there are women swooning over you yet you choose to sit with the only one who despises you with ever fibre of her being?" Clara asks as she turns to P.L with a frown on her face, "I choose to sit with you because once we had something, we were unstoppable, and I wish to have that closeness back" P.L says as he reaches for her hand but she pulls away.

"We lost that closeness years ago, accept it" Clara says, "I will not accept something that I had no control over" P.L says with a slight hint of anger. The previous statement infuriates Clara to no end, "No control, if you believe that you had no control than I think you have been drinking as much as our dear Dawn" Clara says through gritted teeth.

"How dare you say such a thing" O'Hara says in a sudden outburst, "You know for a while I had wished that you had not left, hoped that there were some other reason for it. I knew in my heart that I was not as important to you as I had hoped" Clara says. "You were everything to me" O'Hara interrupts, "Let me finish. I knew as soon as I met you that you could love no one, I suppose it was foolish of me to think any less. I was warned by everyone; Rose, Meredith and Bunny" Clara says as she pauses for a moment.

P.L takes this opportunity to place his hands on hers, both wishing for something long gone. "Do you suppose if one wished for something enough than maybe it would become real?" Clara asks softly as she rubs O'Hara's hand with her thumb, "I do not believe so, someone must take control of their feelings and then continue to strive for what they wish" O'Hara says as he gazes down at Clara who has placed her head on his chest.

"Do you have something you wish for?" P.L asks softly, Clara gazes up her eyes filled with silent tears. "What I wish for is impossible, I had my chance and I blew it. For some people happiness is something they find often, others it is impossible to have" Clara says as she wipes her eyes with her sleeve to rid herself of any escaping tears, "Someone so beautiful does not deserve to have so many burdens" O'Hara says as he leans down to kiss Clara but she pulls away.

"I have to go and ummm do stuff" Clara stutters as she stands up and practically runs from P.L, she never thought she would have these feelings towards P.L, not after all they went through. Suddenly Clara runs into someone, she looks up to see Geoffrey and Stella standing in front of her, their hands filled with various bags of food.

"Well what are you standing there for, there are hungry people waiting for you" Clara says as she walks past them and continues down the hall, Stella and Geoffrey following closely behind. "Hello everyone, we have food" Clara says as she enters the room to see all the actors jabbering on, "Well about time" Desmond Fairchild says as he lets out a exasperated sigh.

"Oh for Christ sakes Desmond, you are lucky Potter even gave you a place in this theatre you stuck up snob" Clara says as she throws a brown paper at him, "Why you ……" Desmond lifts his hand as though he is about to hit her but someone steps in front of her. "Desmond I suggest you think before you raises your hand towards someone again" O'Hara says as he lets go of Desmond's wrist, "I suggest you keep that whore on a chain then" Desmond says.

Suddenly O'Hara jumps forward to hit Desmond but he is held back by Bunny, George and Geoffrey, "I suggest you leave" Meredith says with a smirk as he watches Desmond leave the theatre, the fear clear in his eyes. As soon as Desmond leaves the room Clara turns towards P.L, the anger pulsating through her.

"When will you understand, I am not yours to protect anymore" Clara yells at O'Hara, the rest of the cast gaze on with unsurprised looks on their faces, after all they had endured the same arguing many years ago, obviously neither one of them have matured over the years. "I was just trying to help" P.L says in his defence, "Don't! Is that too hard to comprehend?" Clara asks as she slams the rest of the paper bags into his chest and leaves the room, tears of defeat running down her face.

"Clara he loves you, he never stopped" a voice says, slowly Clara turns around to see Meredith standing behind her. "Well I have stopped loving him" she says as she wipes away the stray tears with her sleeve, "I thought you would have realised by now that you can not lie to me" Meredith says as he hands her a tattered piece of paper. "I know I should have given to this you years ago but I was angry, I know it was selfish but I thought I would save you some of the pain" Meredith says, "What is it?" Clara asks. "Just open it" Meredith says as he leaves, silently Clara opens the piece of paper and begins to read it.

My dearest Clara,

I am sorry that I left but I was called away to the war, I must defend my country, I want you to be safe.

The very thought of you keeps me going, I miss you dearly but I keep going in hopes that one day I will come back and we will be together. The night before I left I told you that one day I would ask you to marry me and well I suppose there could be a better time than this but I want to know you will be mine when I come back, so here it goes.

Clara Marie Reletto will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?

Loving you till the day I die,
P.L O'Hara

Suddenly Clara drops to the ground, tears flowing freely down her face. A soft clink brings her back to reality, Clara looks down to see that a beautiful white gold rings has fallen out of the envelope along with a crumpled photograph.

Clara picks up the photograph and looks down to see the picture taken the night before P.L left, smiles on both their faces as they danced to the soft music playing in the background. Never did she think she would see this photograph again. That night they were both so happy and yet so sad at the same time, young love, so beautiful yet so naïve.

"Is it true?" Clara asks as she walks into P.L's dressing room, "Is what true?" O'Hara asks as he kicks the tap a few times to make the water run. "This" Clara says as she hands P.L the envelope, O'Hara looks inside the envelope and then back at Clara, a look of astonishment on his face. "Y...You still have this, after all these years?" stutters P.L, "No I only received it today, it seems to have got delayed" Clara says as she thinks about how she is going to yell at Potter.

"Well is it true?" Clara asks again, "I…I" P.L stutters again, he was never a man to be lost for words and this was awkward. "Forget it, I don’t even know why I bothered coming up here" Clara says as she hands him the envelope and starts to leave the room. "Clara wait!" O'Hara says, Clara turns around "What?" she asks with a tone of annoyance in her voice.

"What would you have said?" he asks softly as though he is almost afraid of the answer, "I would have said yes. I loved you even when I found out that you had a child out there somewhere, but after the war you never sent me a letter, nothing. I suppose in a way it broke my heart that you could forget me so easily, when it took me so long to stop crying myself to sleep" Clara says honestly, "My feelings towards you have not changed since the day we last saw each other, you are still as beautiful as ever" P.L says as he runs his hand along the side of her face.

"Always trying to flatter" Clara says as she moves closer to P.L, "Only you my love, only you" P.L says as he moves his hand down to her waist. "I never really stopped loving you, I still do. No matter how much I try, I just don't want to let go of what we had" whispers Clara as she runs her lips along the side of P.L's cheek, "Lets pretend like we never left each other, lets pretend that we were like we used to be; after all we are actors so it should be a breeze" he whispers as he pulls her in close.

"Do you think it will work? I mean really work" Clara says as her hot breath runs along P.L's cheek, "Yes I believe it will work" he says as he runs his hand along her stomach. "I think we should give it some time, maybe we are rushing into this to fast" Clara says as she tries to pull away from O'Hara but he pulls her in closer, "I have waited for this moment for ten years" says P.L as he drags his lips along the side of Clara face. Before they can continue the conversation a voice interrupts them, Clara lets out a sigh of relief as she turns to see Stella standing in the doorway.

"I am sorry to interrupt you but Mr. Potter wishes for all of the cast to meet now" Stella says as she pushes a lose strand of red hair behind her ear, "Thank you Stella" Clara says as she goes to walk away but P.L grabs her arm. "We will be there in a moment" P.L says to Stella, who gives him a small smile and leaves them alone once again.