Steamin' at the Seams

Everyone is gone. Everyone but Jacob. Quil and Embry went to Emily's for babysitting duty, and Will disappeared to Leah's. But Jacob won't go.

Jacob Black. Sadistic freak intent on making me commit suicide? Possible. Kid with nothing else to do but hang out with me? Probable. But why he would hang out with me when he has another girl who he should be spending his life with is beyond me.

My thoughts run through my head in a dark cloud, leaving acid dripping out my pores. I'm hiding in the bathroom. Jacob is out there on the couch, watching some cartoon that we both agreed isn't funny. I know what I have to do. It'll be a bad move for my sanity, but we can't all have happy endings.

I flush the toilet – theatrics, you know – and wash my hands vigorously, letting the hot water burn my skin. I open the door slowly, taking a deep breath.

"Hey, Jake?"

Jacob snaps to attention, sitting up a little straighter as he looks at me. "Yeah?"

"Can I talk to you about something? It's kind of important."

"Sure, what's up?"

I walk over and sit on the edge of my bed, watching his expression. He looks a little confused, maybe a little concerned.

"I don't think we should hang out anymore."

He stares at me for a minute before slowly saying "It sounds like you're breaking up with me?" He sounds confused. "But there's nothing to break up?"

"I don't think we should hang out as friends," I clarify.

"Why not?" He bursts out. His anger is back.

"You've imprinted on someone, and you kissed me anyway!" I say almost hysterically. "That's not right!"

"What if I don't care?" Jacob says, a dare in his voice.

"Well what if I do?" I shoot back. "It makes me feel guilty. You make me feel guilty. If shit like that is going to be happening – and it's happened twice now – then it's really going to screw everything up."

"But what if it doesn't?" Now Jacob sounds like he's pleading.

I shut my eyes tight. "But it will, there's no way around it. I just can't be around you anymore."

I hear him stand up, and I open my eyes. He's right in front of me, towering over me. I shrink a little.

"You're sure you don't want to see me anymore?" He asks seriously.

No. I want to see you every single day for the rest of my life. "Yes. I'm sure."

He turns on his heel and vanishes out the door, slamming it shut behind him.

Up until this point, I didn't feel anything. From the neck down, I was completely numb. Like I was paralyzed. But now the reaction is coming. I can feel it.

The fault lines in my body tear apart, leaving me in pieces. Fissures crack down my heart, and my entire body screams in pain. I curl into a ball, tears streaming down my face as my body is wracked by the sobs.

I don't know how long it's been, maybe minutes, maybe hours, maybe even days, when the door bursts open. Leah stomps in looking very angry indeed.

"What the hell did you do to him?" she demands, her eye searching the room for me. Did I ever mention that after Leah imprinted on Will, she and Jacob inexplicably became much closer? Because they did. Her face softens when she sees me, an unmoving lump at the foot of the bed.

Quil, my best friend herebesides Jacob, comes in just a few seconds after Leah. He spots me faster than she did, and softly he says "Oh honey, what happened?"

I can't say anything, still sobbing violently. Quil quickly crosses the room and sits on the bed, gathering my shuddering form into his lap. Leah sits down too, looking a little uncomfortable.

Once I've calmed down enough to talk – it takes a while – Quil asks "Did he do something?"

"He didn't show you?" I whisper.

Quil shakes his head and Leah says "All we could get from him is that he's royally pissed and more hurt than he ever was with Bella. Sam had to order him not to do anything that could hurt him; he was thinking about throwing himself in front of a truck."

This news sends me into a new fit of hysterics. Some time later, when I've stopped crying – again – I violently say "I am a monster."

"No you're not," Quil says immediately. "Why would you say that?"

"Because it's my fault he was like that," I say darkly. "I told him that I don't want to see him anymore. We fought."

"Why would you tell him that?" Leah asks, appalled.

"He kissed me earlier. Or I kissed him. Either way, something happened," I say, my voice breaking slightly at the memory. "He imprinted on someone else. Stuff like this can't happen. Besides, I'm getting too attached to him, anyway. Too attached to someone who's already attached to someone else."

They don't seem to have a response to that.