Steamin' at the Seams

I've been walking for at least an hour. Probably longer. I'm on the wooded road leading out of La Push. Trees on either side, the setting sun hidden behind clouds, it's dark.

I've managed to stay to the side of the road, not getting hit yet. Yet being the key word.

After about the first half mile, my anger faded. I realized that I was relieved that I knew the truth. Happy, no, euphoric, to know that it was me, not some other girl, who was to be Jacob's destiny.

But, after that whole 'I hate you' stomp down the road exit, it's not like I can just go back, you know? It would just ruin the whole thing. I have to wait and see if he'll follow me.

I know that sounds so damsel in distress, romantic, but it's just the way I have to do it. I wish it wasn't, but I don't see any other way.

I continue wandering down the dark road, waiting to see if any cars will come by that don't have a pedophile inside, so I can see if they'll give me a ride to Forks.

After just a few minutes, headlights from behind me light up the road ahead. I veer over to the side of the road and turn to look at the car. It's too close now, though, and the headlights blind me.

I shield my eyes and miss it when the car slows down to a stop next to me. I lower my arm and lean down to look in the window of the familiar Rabbit.

"Hey, Lacey," Jacob says quietly.

"Hey, Jake," I say, my voice just as quiet as his.

"Need a ride?"

"That would be nice." I open the door and quietly get inside, closing the door gently and buckling my seatbelt.

Jacob drives on, slowly. I glance over at him, and when I see that he's not looking at me, I turn and stare at him.

He looks…broken. His posture, the expression that I can see on his profile, his grip on the steering wheel. He looms like a tortured man. Someone who has had everything they've ever loved destroyed right before their eyes.

I'm the cause of this. And it isn't just some self-centered thought. I know it to my core; I am the reason for Jacob's pain. And that kills me.

I turn back to the window, tears coursing silently down my face. Before, I wished that I could cry. Now I wish I could take all of the tears back, drink them up so that no one could see them.

Even though I don't make a sound, my shoulders heave slightly, and Jacob pulls off the road, into a little dark spot, completely obscured by the trees.

Just like before, he unbuckles my seatbelt and pulls me into his lap. I relax into his body, sobbing into his shirt as he wraps his arms tightly around me.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper.

"What for?" Jacob asks, whispering too.

"I made you hurt."

Jacob doesn't say anything for a few minutes, then he asks "Do you really hate me?"

I shake my head into his chest as I whisper "No, I don't hate you. Jacob, I could never ever hate you."

He holds me tighter, in a gentle way, as I slowly stop crying. When my eyes are dry, I look up at him.

"Why?"

"Why what?" He asks.

"Why did you find me?"

"I had to."

I don't question his meaning. I reach up around his neck and pull his face down to mine, pressing my mouth to his.

His reaction is immediate, kissing me just like a month ago. I twist in his lap, my arms tight around his neck, fingers tangled in his shaggy hair.

The atmosphere around us is electric. I feel whole, as though I had never been wounded at all. The hole is plugged up, my organs healed, leaving no scars.

I didn't know that being with Jacob, knowing that I am his, and that he is mine, would make me feel so…revitalized. I feel like someone breathed new life into me. A new soul.

Eventually, after I've run out of air, I pull away, sinking back down in Jacob's lap to rest my face against his chest.

"Let's go back to my house?"

"Sure," Jacob whispers, his breathing ragged.

I slowly move over to the passenger seat, and buckle my seatbelt as Jacob steps on the gas, driving five times as fast as before. We make the drive back to my house in silence, not touching, with the exception of Jacob's hand on mine, long, narrow fingers twisted through my own.

When we get to my house, there is no car in the driveway. Jacob lets me out, and parks down the street. I let myself into the dark house and walk out to the kitchen, where the light on the answering machine is blinking. I press the big blue button, and Will's voice fills the room.

"Hey Lacey, I guess you're in the bathroom or something. Mom and Dad's car broke down in Port Angeles, so they're just gonna stay in a hotel there overnight while it gets fixed. I'm going to stay over at Clearwaters' tonight, too. So, you'll be by yourself. Call me if you've got a problem with that."

"Alone tonight?" Jacob asks quietly, from directly behind me.

I jump, squealing. I spin around to find him shaking with laughter. I smack his arm and stalk past him. "You scared the shit out of me!"

He laughs, following me and catching me about the waist, swinging me around against his body. "Sorry."

I laugh too, hugging him around his broad waist. "It's OK, I know I'm funny. Wow, you're huge. I feel like a little kid."

"You don't look like a little kid," Jacob says huskily, bending so he's whispering near my ear.

I blush, hiding my face against his chest. "Perv." He just laughs. I pull away, and he grabs my hand, keeping me close. "I'm just getting something to drink."

He lets go of my hand, but rests his hands on my hips and walks close behind me as I move across the kitchen, getting a glass of water. I laugh, his warm fingers tickling my skin.