Lead You On

I tugged on the end of my big pajama pants as Joe and Nick wrestled on my bedroom floor. Kevin sat across from me in my bean bag chair, grinning, because Nick had finally pinned Joe down.

"1... 2... 3! Nick wins!"I shouted, jumping up and throwing my hands in the air. Joe fell back, his face clouding and lips pouting, while Nick jumped up and did a dance. I grinned as his dance turned stupid and he kicked out. His foot hit my desk and he cried out and grabbed his toe, losing his balance and falling down. Joe burst out laughing and Kevin chuckled too.

I watched his face, and sure enough his eyes flickered to me for a second, then back to his covered toes. I bit my lip. I always snuck glances at people which I liked. I cracked my fingers then looked over at Joe, then looked away quickly.

He was staring directly at me.

I rubbed my right eye, using the distraction to glance over at him again. He was still openly staring at me, unashamed of his gaze. I wiggled on my bed, very uncomfortable.

Seems like I always have some sort of uncomfortable situation following me with these neighbors.

I shook my head and listened to Kevin, who was using the opportunity to bash on Joe, "Joe got beat by his baby bro-ther! Joe got beat by his baby bro-ther!" I grinned and joined in loudly, pulling my eyes so I was staring at him back. Our gazes locked and I found myself keeping singing, though I felt like I was having a private conversation with Joe.

I didn't know what he was saying, but he was saying something to me, and I think I was responding. Suddenly a playful fire sprang in his eyes, the he sprang up, and jumped onto me!

I watched his face approach me, then my body get flung back. I lost my breath and let out a sort of gasp before feeling myself hit the floor. Joe regained his balance and landed with his knees on either side of my thighs, hands on either side of my neck.

And for the first time around Joe, I felt helpless.

I felt helpless when he grinned and moved his hand to ruffle my hair, felt helpless when Kevin groaned, telling Joe that was really dangerous, felt helpless when Joe looked into my eyes right before he stood up.

I couldn't read those eyes.

I needed to read those eyes.

I felt a burning in my stomach, and scooted backwards, feeling a sweat break on my face.

"Be right back." I whispered shakily, having a feeling I would never be loud again.

Their eyes fell on me, but I didn't look at any of them or say anything else, I just pushed my feet in front of each other till I reached the bathroom, waiting till the door closed and locked behind me till I let out a long whisper-scream.

That was weird. I felt deep and... immersed. Immersed in Joe.

It wasn't a bad feeling though. I actually felt like it'd be nice and welcome to do it again, in private, because my reaction scared me.

I was terrified of being immersed in Joe, I could admit.

I pressed my face - which felt surprising hot - onto the cool mirror and felt my eyes roll to the back of my head, not quite registering the nagging thought the back of my mind was having.

Could immerse possibly also be... love?