A Light in the Dark

Chapter 8

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I looked at my father as we ate lunch. Everyone was in the kitchen now, and I started to question him. “Why did you and mom decide to make me think you were dead?”

“Jess, I didn’t think she told you I had died!” Sirius looked at me confused. “I thought you knew about me, but when I saw you that first night you came here I knew you thought I was some murderer. Molly told me what Abby had told you, and how Abby wanted to keep me away from you for your protection. She thought if you knew about me then you would want to be just like me, getting into trouble and risking your life, becoming an auror…”

“Well that didn’t work out too well.” Fred suddenly said and he and George kind of laughed. I smiled slightly.

“I ended up just like you… dad.” My head felt light in awkwardness, it was weird calling Sirius Black ‘dad’, but I liked it and he seemed to like it too. He smiled at me and said nothing as he ate, and we had so much to tell each other, but yet we didn’t want to speak. My curiosity got the better of me.

“So anyways, do you know where mom is yet?” I asked casually. I also wanted to ask about why there had been death eaters at my house and why they were trying to get me, but I thought one question at a time would be better.

“Sorry, Jess,” my dad glanced at me with a half smile. “We still aren’t sure.”

“Alright,” I sighed. It was actually starting to get aggravating, but I was trying to control my emotions at the moment. I had a rather emotional morning and I didn’t want to go through that again.

I looked at Sirius wanting to interrogate him about that night I was taken from my house and I fought an internal battle of whether or not I should. I really wanted to know, but I didn’t want to bother Sirius.

“Um, could I ask you one more question?” I asked just above a whisper, all of a sudden I needed to clear my throat and could hardly speak. I coughed when Sirius looked at me and I repeated my question, but louder.

“Sure, go ahead Jess,” Sirius looked back down at his food.

“Why did I have-,” I paused, changing my question. “Why were there death eaters at my house?”

At that moment all the clattering of plates and silverware stopped and everyone stopped talking. I felt my face get hot as everyone in the kitchen looked at me, and I tried to ignore them and keep my gaze on my father who glanced over at Mrs. Weasley.

She stood beside the sink having started the dishes, but now stared at Sirius.

“Oh for pete’s sake!” I blurted out. Sirius turned to me. “Why do you keep looking at Molly for permission to answer my questions?”

Mrs. Weasley appeared taken aback by what I said and I saw a smile wipe across my dad’s face. He started laughing.

“Now Jessica,” Mrs. Weasley placed the plate she was cleaning in the sink, and walked towards the table, clearly having a long speech or lecture prepared for me.

“Oh Molly,” Sirius waved his hand at her, saying to go back to washing dishes. “Let me tell her something! The poor girl needs to hear some truth from somebody!”

The truth from somebody? He isn't the only one who has told me the truth.

“After all Molly, everyone in this room, including you, has hidden something from her, or lied to her to keep the secrets hidden. I don’t approve of what Abby has done with Jess, and I insist on it to stop now, and I think she deserves some truth,” he then turned towards the table full of people and I felt shock appear on my face.

I glanced at all the faces of my friends. Fred and George hung their heads once I looked there way. Hermione’s lip quivered as she tried to think of something to say, Ron and Harry looked at each other as they acted like they were playing with the food on their plates. Ginny glared accusingly at her mother, and Mr. Weasley looked at me with sadness as they could probably see the shock in my face.

And it fell on me like a piano full of bricks. Everyone in this room…including you Molly…has hidden something from her…or lied…

I felt like crying, I felt like yelling, I felt like questioning everyone about what lies they had told me. I wished I could get out of the darkness that filled my head, out of the confusion. My whole life had seemed fine, my mother, I thought, was just too controlling since my father had “died”. My life had been completely normal, but now it hit me that my life had been a lie. My friends had even known more about me than I did, and they didn’t try to tell me. My mother hid all kinds of secrets from me, but I thought nothing of it until now, only because I thought her secrets were just little regrets of her past or just lame responsibilities for work. Now I knew better. My mother must have had a completely different life than I had perceived she had, and everyone was in on the joke. Everyone was in on it except for me. My whole life had been an act, pointless and worthless.

At that moment, my life entered that darkness that had been there all along. I just never noticed it, and now I didn’t have lies to be my light anymore. I was left in the dark, and I didn’t feel like myself anymore. I didn’t even know who I was, and I apparently never had. I was lost in the dark, and for once, I feared it and wanted to run away.
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It's kind of short... not the best.... but hopefully it'll get better!
Thanks for reading