Sequel: Faithfully Yours ›
Lots of Love, Mike
Sad Jess
She's missed two periods. She didn't realise at first but after missing the second one she got scared. She came and told me that her and Billie slept together the night she stayed over. Apparently it happened in the summerhouse and it was the most wonderful thing! Has Billie told you any of this? If so, why didn't you tell me? If not, why didn't they tell us? Jessie is real keen on Billie. She says she loves him.
She came to mine and we did a pregnancy test and it came out positive. This was yesterday. She looks ill Mike with all the worry. She doesn't know what to do and neither do I. She says she can't tell her parents but she's going to have to. Oh my god. Please write back as soon as possible. Remember; please don't tell Billie I don't think he should know anything just yet.
Love from
Stella x
"Hey is that from Stella?" said Billie
"Yeah" said Mike. "Not much news really, you know the usual." He said quickly shoving the letter back into its envelope.
"How's Jess? I really must get to write to her but writing letters isn't my thing. I only know how to write songs." Said Billie.
"Billie how do you really feel about Jess?" said Mike
"What?" said Billie not sure what Mike meant by the question.
"You don't talk much about her but you both got on real well when she was here. Do you ever think about her?" asked Mike.
Billie slumped down onto a beanbag. His face suddenly changed.
"Mike I think about her all the time. The only time she is off my mind is when I'm writing songs or playing. Mike I love her and it's killing me. I don't know what to do." Said Billie.
"You know that night when she stayed over, did anything happen?" said Mike.
"What do you mean?" said Billie.
"Well, you were pretty close and I went up to bed early. You didn't tell me what went on after I went to bed, usually you'd be bragging about kissing and maybe getting a feel?"
Billie's face went white.
"Oh Mikey boy, we slept together. It happened out in the summerhouse. It was beautiful and I can't get my mind off it. It was just so right. I couldn't tell you, as I didn't know what you'd think. We're both so young but, It's the real thing man and she's hundreds of miles away from me and I'm never going to be with her I just know it. I have to move on and forget her but its hard Mike. I want to write to her and I should but it would be useless, how can we be together its impossible. We lead such different lives." Said Billie almost in tears.
Mike went over to his old friend and put his arm around him. Should he tell him the news he'd got from Stella? No, he wouldn't. I'll wait until Stella gives me more information. My god. Billie could be a father in nine months. He was only 14 himself. Fucking hell.
2 months later
"Stella". Said a quiet voice at the end of the phone.
"Hi Jess."
"It's done." Said Jessie.
"Oh Jess." Said Stella. "I'm so sorry"
"I know. I'm so sad right now. Sad and lonely. Stella I need to speak to you, can you come over? Mum says you can come and spend the night here if you like."
"Jess I don't know what to say. Of course I'll come over. I'll check with mum and bring my things, I'll be over in half an hour or so, OK."
"Yeah. Please hurry."
***
Jessie's mum let Stella in. Her mum looked pale and drawn what with all the worry over the past few weeks. She knew Jessie's mum felt sad for her daughter. Sad at the loss but it was for the best. They had discussed it as a family.
Jess was lying on the bed. She looked dreadful. Her face was pale and she had dark circles under her eyes. Stella went straight over to her and gave her a hug. Jess started crying.
"I'm sorry Stell. They said I would get emotional; it's all the hormones you know" she said.
"Oh Jess I'm so sorry about all this, cry as much as you like. How do you feel, you know, really feel?" said Stella.
"How would anyone feel when they've got rid of their baby? I never knew I would feel like this. Everyone says it's for the best and I know what they mean. Having Billie's baby would have been well... " She started crying. "Oh Stella. Why couldn't my Uncle have got married in a few more years' time? Then we'd be older and I could have coped with this. I could have stayed in California with Billie and we could have set up home together." Said Jessie. "Please tell me you haven't said anything to Mike?"
Stella didn't answer.
"You have haven't you?"
"Look Jess, I needed someone to talk to too. Mike has promised not to say anything to Billie. He thinks its best he doesn't know too. My god we're all only 14, we've all got our lives ahead of us. How would a baby have fitted in? Jess you made the best decision. I know its sad and everything but how would you have coped? You're still at school, your parents would have to look after the baby and they are not getting any younger."
"I know. I know you're right. I've been through it all over and over in my head time and time again but it still doesn't change the fact that at the end of the day I love Billie, he loves me, we made a baby and now I've... I've killed it."
Jess hugged her friend tight. Feeling so sad for her. Thank god Billie doesn't know about this what would happen if he ever found out?
"When I'm older," sobbed Jess. "When I'm older and finish school I'm going back there, back to California to be with him." She said, determined.
"But you haven't even heard from him since you got back." Said Stella.
"Actually I have." She sniffed.
"What? You didn't say anything. When?"
Jess bent down and got out a letter from her bag. What beautiful writing thought Stella. She noticed the date. 1st September 1986. Not long after they'd got back from their trip. Before all this mess.
Dear Jess
I can't believe that we were only together for a couple of days and I miss you so much. This is so hard for me to write you wouldn't believe. I'm used to writing songs, and am not really a good letter writer. Look, I probably won't write again. I've had a good long hard think. You are on my mind all the time and hopefully, yeah you think of me too. I'm going to throw myself into my music and when we are older we can get together. We are right for each other I just know it Jess. Please lets just bide our time and when we are say, 17 or 18 we can be together. I know you want to come out to California. So it's a date. See you in 2 or 3 years and we can be together. I do love you Jess but to keep on writing to you will kill me. I have you constantly in my mind and you'll be there until I see you again. I'll hear about you through Mike and Stella.
I love you and can't wait.
Billie.
Ps. I've enclosed one of my songs. I've written it just for you. I have a copy too. I'm determined to get it recorded one day. It's your song Jess.
"Oh my god" said Stella. "That's wonderful. Can I see the song?"
"No. It's private. I'm sorry, but Billie wouldn't want me showing anyone. Please don't take any offence by it."
"That's fine," said Stella. " I understand. Here, come and give us a hug."
The two friends hugged for ages. Both lost in their own thoughts, Stella's was of Mike and Jessie's was of Billie and their lost baby.
***
Dear Mike
Again, please don't let Billie read this. I'm sorry for not writing sooner. Jess has been so distressed with what has been going on. She got rid of the baby Mike. She is so sad. I don't think that deep down she wanted to. She discussed it with her parents and they all agreed it was for the best. Poor Jess. She feels so far away from Billie.
He wrote her a beautiful letter, did he tell you about it? It was lovely and he wrote a song for her but she won't show it to me. She says its private, which is fair enough. She's lost lots of weight and looks pale and drawn. She's still in a bad way but her parents are taking her to Spain for a month to try and recover but deep down Mike I don't think she'll ever recover. She keeps on about coming over to America in a couple of years when school is over. She says she'll get work anywhere as long as she's with Billie. Does Billie feel this way or is it just her? Mike I don't know what to do to help her.
Please write back soon with any information you may have about the situation.
Love from
Stella x
Mike hid the letter away in his drawer away from Billie. He kept asking if he'd heard from Stella but of course he hadn't for a couple of months. He wasn't too worried though as he knew the situation. He was just waiting for Stella to let him know the story. He knew Billie thought of Jess most of the time. He just knew it. He'd written some amazing songs since she'd gone. Unbelievable ones. He'd even let him look in 'Billie's Bible' of songs. Fuck me they were awesome. I'm so proud of Billie for all the talent he has got. He deserves to be famous one day and I hope I'm with him when he is thought Mike. I didn't realise he'd written Jess a letter it must have taken some guts to do that. It was so not like Billie at all. God I hope it all works out in the end. I hope if they are meant to be together then they will.
"Hey Mike," said Billie interrupting Mike's thoughts.
"What?" said Mike.
"Come and listen to this," said Billie getting all excited about a rift that he'd discovered.
"Coming" said Mike. Checking that the letter was well out of sight.
April 1987
"You're fucking kidding man," said Billie into the phone. "When? Tomorrow? Fuck I don't believe it. I knew we could do it"
Who was Billie talking to? Thought Mike.
"Mike" said Billie. "That was John. He's got a friend at the Gilman. They're looking for an act to start off tomorrow. They said we could have the slot. They can't find anyone else at short notice and they said we could do it. Oh fuck man. I don't believe it. Hey this is happening for us Mikey baby and they hi-fived together, grins all over their faces."
The next night
Walking off stage Mike had never felt on such a high in all his life. He was sweating buckets and so was Billie. Billie had this huge grin on his face.
"Oh Mike" said Billie. "Fuck man. That was the best ever feeling don't you think?"
"Yeah wasn't it" said Mike. "I want more of that. Do you think they'll let us play here again?" he asked his friend.
"Who knows but the crowd seemed to like us," said Billie.
The manager approached them while they were chatting.
"Hey you guys," said the manager.
"Yep" said Billie and Mike together
"How about you have a regular slot. May be once a week to start with and then we can see about adding slots on different nights, see how it goes."
They boys acted calm.
"Er. Well. I think so," said Billie coolly. "Yeah, can't see why not" he said.
"Right. Food and drink are on the house and we'll pay you $120 a night. Sound good."
"Er. Yeah. That's fine," said Billie shaking the manager's hand.
When the manager had gone the boys were jumping all over each other with excitement, even the quiet John was joining in.
"Regular slots on a Saturday. Fuck it I can't believe it," said Mike.
"A little bit of me can" said Billie. "My god we can show these people what we can do Mikey. It's our chance."
"Yeah" said Mike. "Lets go have a beer and a joint to celebrate" and the friends went off with arms round each other back home.
The slots at the Gilman increased and Sweet Children had a huge fan base. They had regulars that came to see them every week and cheered them on. The money came in handy too and they bought loads of new instruments.
England
Stella and Jessie were in Stella's bedroom once again listening to their old tape of Sweet Children.
"Still not heard from him then?" said Jessie.
"No. Nothing. It's been 4 months"
"That's the longest isn't it?" said Jessie.
"Yes, that's the longest that Mike hasn't written" said Stella in a sad voice.
"I wonder why?" said Jess
"Who knows?" said Stella
"Do you think that's it?" said Jessie.
"I hope not," said Stella sadly. She clearly didn't want to think about it. 4 months was a long time to wait for someone's letter. She hoped Mike was OK; it was his 15th birthday soon. Should she send him anything? May be she would leave it this time, she'd written three times to him and hadn't heard from him since April, it was now nearing the end of August. They were back at school soon. It was their last year at school then she was going to college to do photography. That took a year and then her and Jessie had planned to go travelling. Jessie was doing hairdressing for a year. They wanted to travel for a year then come home and pursue their careers.
"Play it again Stell" said Jess laying back on the bed.
Stella got up and pressed play on the tape machine. Wondering if she'd ever hear from Mike again...
She came to mine and we did a pregnancy test and it came out positive. This was yesterday. She looks ill Mike with all the worry. She doesn't know what to do and neither do I. She says she can't tell her parents but she's going to have to. Oh my god. Please write back as soon as possible. Remember; please don't tell Billie I don't think he should know anything just yet.
Love from
Stella x
"Hey is that from Stella?" said Billie
"Yeah" said Mike. "Not much news really, you know the usual." He said quickly shoving the letter back into its envelope.
"How's Jess? I really must get to write to her but writing letters isn't my thing. I only know how to write songs." Said Billie.
"Billie how do you really feel about Jess?" said Mike
"What?" said Billie not sure what Mike meant by the question.
"You don't talk much about her but you both got on real well when she was here. Do you ever think about her?" asked Mike.
Billie slumped down onto a beanbag. His face suddenly changed.
"Mike I think about her all the time. The only time she is off my mind is when I'm writing songs or playing. Mike I love her and it's killing me. I don't know what to do." Said Billie.
"You know that night when she stayed over, did anything happen?" said Mike.
"What do you mean?" said Billie.
"Well, you were pretty close and I went up to bed early. You didn't tell me what went on after I went to bed, usually you'd be bragging about kissing and maybe getting a feel?"
Billie's face went white.
"Oh Mikey boy, we slept together. It happened out in the summerhouse. It was beautiful and I can't get my mind off it. It was just so right. I couldn't tell you, as I didn't know what you'd think. We're both so young but, It's the real thing man and she's hundreds of miles away from me and I'm never going to be with her I just know it. I have to move on and forget her but its hard Mike. I want to write to her and I should but it would be useless, how can we be together its impossible. We lead such different lives." Said Billie almost in tears.
Mike went over to his old friend and put his arm around him. Should he tell him the news he'd got from Stella? No, he wouldn't. I'll wait until Stella gives me more information. My god. Billie could be a father in nine months. He was only 14 himself. Fucking hell.
2 months later
"Stella". Said a quiet voice at the end of the phone.
"Hi Jess."
"It's done." Said Jessie.
"Oh Jess." Said Stella. "I'm so sorry"
"I know. I'm so sad right now. Sad and lonely. Stella I need to speak to you, can you come over? Mum says you can come and spend the night here if you like."
"Jess I don't know what to say. Of course I'll come over. I'll check with mum and bring my things, I'll be over in half an hour or so, OK."
"Yeah. Please hurry."
***
Jessie's mum let Stella in. Her mum looked pale and drawn what with all the worry over the past few weeks. She knew Jessie's mum felt sad for her daughter. Sad at the loss but it was for the best. They had discussed it as a family.
Jess was lying on the bed. She looked dreadful. Her face was pale and she had dark circles under her eyes. Stella went straight over to her and gave her a hug. Jess started crying.
"I'm sorry Stell. They said I would get emotional; it's all the hormones you know" she said.
"Oh Jess I'm so sorry about all this, cry as much as you like. How do you feel, you know, really feel?" said Stella.
"How would anyone feel when they've got rid of their baby? I never knew I would feel like this. Everyone says it's for the best and I know what they mean. Having Billie's baby would have been well... " She started crying. "Oh Stella. Why couldn't my Uncle have got married in a few more years' time? Then we'd be older and I could have coped with this. I could have stayed in California with Billie and we could have set up home together." Said Jessie. "Please tell me you haven't said anything to Mike?"
Stella didn't answer.
"You have haven't you?"
"Look Jess, I needed someone to talk to too. Mike has promised not to say anything to Billie. He thinks its best he doesn't know too. My god we're all only 14, we've all got our lives ahead of us. How would a baby have fitted in? Jess you made the best decision. I know its sad and everything but how would you have coped? You're still at school, your parents would have to look after the baby and they are not getting any younger."
"I know. I know you're right. I've been through it all over and over in my head time and time again but it still doesn't change the fact that at the end of the day I love Billie, he loves me, we made a baby and now I've... I've killed it."
Jess hugged her friend tight. Feeling so sad for her. Thank god Billie doesn't know about this what would happen if he ever found out?
"When I'm older," sobbed Jess. "When I'm older and finish school I'm going back there, back to California to be with him." She said, determined.
"But you haven't even heard from him since you got back." Said Stella.
"Actually I have." She sniffed.
"What? You didn't say anything. When?"
Jess bent down and got out a letter from her bag. What beautiful writing thought Stella. She noticed the date. 1st September 1986. Not long after they'd got back from their trip. Before all this mess.
Dear Jess
I can't believe that we were only together for a couple of days and I miss you so much. This is so hard for me to write you wouldn't believe. I'm used to writing songs, and am not really a good letter writer. Look, I probably won't write again. I've had a good long hard think. You are on my mind all the time and hopefully, yeah you think of me too. I'm going to throw myself into my music and when we are older we can get together. We are right for each other I just know it Jess. Please lets just bide our time and when we are say, 17 or 18 we can be together. I know you want to come out to California. So it's a date. See you in 2 or 3 years and we can be together. I do love you Jess but to keep on writing to you will kill me. I have you constantly in my mind and you'll be there until I see you again. I'll hear about you through Mike and Stella.
I love you and can't wait.
Billie.
Ps. I've enclosed one of my songs. I've written it just for you. I have a copy too. I'm determined to get it recorded one day. It's your song Jess.
"Oh my god" said Stella. "That's wonderful. Can I see the song?"
"No. It's private. I'm sorry, but Billie wouldn't want me showing anyone. Please don't take any offence by it."
"That's fine," said Stella. " I understand. Here, come and give us a hug."
The two friends hugged for ages. Both lost in their own thoughts, Stella's was of Mike and Jessie's was of Billie and their lost baby.
***
Dear Mike
Again, please don't let Billie read this. I'm sorry for not writing sooner. Jess has been so distressed with what has been going on. She got rid of the baby Mike. She is so sad. I don't think that deep down she wanted to. She discussed it with her parents and they all agreed it was for the best. Poor Jess. She feels so far away from Billie.
He wrote her a beautiful letter, did he tell you about it? It was lovely and he wrote a song for her but she won't show it to me. She says its private, which is fair enough. She's lost lots of weight and looks pale and drawn. She's still in a bad way but her parents are taking her to Spain for a month to try and recover but deep down Mike I don't think she'll ever recover. She keeps on about coming over to America in a couple of years when school is over. She says she'll get work anywhere as long as she's with Billie. Does Billie feel this way or is it just her? Mike I don't know what to do to help her.
Please write back soon with any information you may have about the situation.
Love from
Stella x
Mike hid the letter away in his drawer away from Billie. He kept asking if he'd heard from Stella but of course he hadn't for a couple of months. He wasn't too worried though as he knew the situation. He was just waiting for Stella to let him know the story. He knew Billie thought of Jess most of the time. He just knew it. He'd written some amazing songs since she'd gone. Unbelievable ones. He'd even let him look in 'Billie's Bible' of songs. Fuck me they were awesome. I'm so proud of Billie for all the talent he has got. He deserves to be famous one day and I hope I'm with him when he is thought Mike. I didn't realise he'd written Jess a letter it must have taken some guts to do that. It was so not like Billie at all. God I hope it all works out in the end. I hope if they are meant to be together then they will.
"Hey Mike," said Billie interrupting Mike's thoughts.
"What?" said Mike.
"Come and listen to this," said Billie getting all excited about a rift that he'd discovered.
"Coming" said Mike. Checking that the letter was well out of sight.
April 1987
"You're fucking kidding man," said Billie into the phone. "When? Tomorrow? Fuck I don't believe it. I knew we could do it"
Who was Billie talking to? Thought Mike.
"Mike" said Billie. "That was John. He's got a friend at the Gilman. They're looking for an act to start off tomorrow. They said we could have the slot. They can't find anyone else at short notice and they said we could do it. Oh fuck man. I don't believe it. Hey this is happening for us Mikey baby and they hi-fived together, grins all over their faces."
The next night
Walking off stage Mike had never felt on such a high in all his life. He was sweating buckets and so was Billie. Billie had this huge grin on his face.
"Oh Mike" said Billie. "Fuck man. That was the best ever feeling don't you think?"
"Yeah wasn't it" said Mike. "I want more of that. Do you think they'll let us play here again?" he asked his friend.
"Who knows but the crowd seemed to like us," said Billie.
The manager approached them while they were chatting.
"Hey you guys," said the manager.
"Yep" said Billie and Mike together
"How about you have a regular slot. May be once a week to start with and then we can see about adding slots on different nights, see how it goes."
They boys acted calm.
"Er. Well. I think so," said Billie coolly. "Yeah, can't see why not" he said.
"Right. Food and drink are on the house and we'll pay you $120 a night. Sound good."
"Er. Yeah. That's fine," said Billie shaking the manager's hand.
When the manager had gone the boys were jumping all over each other with excitement, even the quiet John was joining in.
"Regular slots on a Saturday. Fuck it I can't believe it," said Mike.
"A little bit of me can" said Billie. "My god we can show these people what we can do Mikey. It's our chance."
"Yeah" said Mike. "Lets go have a beer and a joint to celebrate" and the friends went off with arms round each other back home.
The slots at the Gilman increased and Sweet Children had a huge fan base. They had regulars that came to see them every week and cheered them on. The money came in handy too and they bought loads of new instruments.
England
Stella and Jessie were in Stella's bedroom once again listening to their old tape of Sweet Children.
"Still not heard from him then?" said Jessie.
"No. Nothing. It's been 4 months"
"That's the longest isn't it?" said Jessie.
"Yes, that's the longest that Mike hasn't written" said Stella in a sad voice.
"I wonder why?" said Jess
"Who knows?" said Stella
"Do you think that's it?" said Jessie.
"I hope not," said Stella sadly. She clearly didn't want to think about it. 4 months was a long time to wait for someone's letter. She hoped Mike was OK; it was his 15th birthday soon. Should she send him anything? May be she would leave it this time, she'd written three times to him and hadn't heard from him since April, it was now nearing the end of August. They were back at school soon. It was their last year at school then she was going to college to do photography. That took a year and then her and Jessie had planned to go travelling. Jessie was doing hairdressing for a year. They wanted to travel for a year then come home and pursue their careers.
"Play it again Stell" said Jess laying back on the bed.
Stella got up and pressed play on the tape machine. Wondering if she'd ever hear from Mike again...