Lots of Love, Mike

Mike felt sick. He had not slept well at all recently for thinking about the letter from Stella. He had to do something about it but what? He knew she was hurting and it was hurting him too. Should he write to her? Of course he should but what could he say? She had married this Matt guy and he.... well he had Ana and he loved her didn't he? Fuck it he was going to write. He had known Stella for years and deeply cared about her. He was annoyed at her though, annoyed that she had married this Matt guy, surely she must have known that he wasn't good enough for her.

Dear Stella

Thank you your photographs of your wedding. My god you made a beautiful bride but I didn't doubt it for one minute. Congratulations on your pregnancy also, hey I cannot believe that you are going to be a mom. Are you sure you are ready for the sleepless nights and shitty diapers? I don't think I could do it yet. Have you decided on any names for the little one? Do you know what you are having? I'm sure that you will have a beautiful baby Stella anyway, whatever.

Things are going so well at the moment for us. We are touring in Tre's Dad's Bookmobile - it's a type of van thing that we practically live in. He's a good guy and drives us about most of the time. Having Tre in the band makes so much sense now; we wished we had dumped John months before. Tre just fits in so well, he is an awesome drummer and he is such good company but you must remember he always was good company; he has us in stitches most of the time.

There are rumours that we shall be touring England. I am so excited about this but you must make sure that we get to meet up with you. I can't wait to see you again Stella? Do you still have the nose ring? I have this feeling that you don't have it anymore.

Anyway, if we do tour England you shall be the first to know. I have your friend Michelle's phone number here, I shall call her to let you know where we are. You know Stella; I really don't understand why we can't write to you at your home address. I know it has something to do with this Matt guy. It has hasn't it? All of us here are worried for you. Michelle sounds like a good person though and I'm sure she looks out for you.

Anyway, we'll be in touch soon

Lots of Love

Mike x

As Stella wiped a tear, Michelle handed her a tissue then Stella handed the letter to her friend to read. While Michelle was reading the letter Stella could feel her baby kicking inside of her. Her baby, her and Matt's baby. Yes Mike she thought to herself, I have a tiny baby boy growing inside of me and I wanted to name him after you but I dare not even mention it to Matt but we've agreed on Ryan, as he doesn't even realise that is your middle name.

"So sweet, I didn't realise you used to have a nose ring," said Michelle. "Matt told you to take it out, right?"

Stella just nodded.

"And you know Mike's right to be worried, they all are. Has it got any better?" she said.

"A little" said Stella. "He still drinks after work and when he comes home he gets real angry but something stops him from hitting me and I know that it is only the baby" she said rubbing her tummy.

"Oh Stella" said Michelle. "What can I do for you?" she said.

"You do enough," said Stella. "You're here for me and the guys can write to you and I can come here whenever I want and listen to their music."

"Yeah but you and Mike could have had something once Stella, I don't understand what went wrong" she said.

"We could never quite get it together," said Stella. "Now he has Anastasia. They're good together, she's lovely and so is Mike, they're so suited" she said.

"Are you sure?" said Michelle. "You and Mike seem suited too."

"We never really had the chance to get going," said Stella.

"What about this Tre guy?" said Michelle.

Stella laughed. "Oh Tre, Tre's just wonderful and funny and lovely. He'd make someone a wonderful husband some day, he's loyal and kind and talented."

"Sounds like you like him too" said Michelle.

"I do. I've always liked Tre. You know what happened between us, it was special, always will be but I don't think we could ever have made it as a couple."

"It's a shame that one of them can't be yours," said Michelle. "I think they sound gorgeous. I'd love to meet up with them one day," she said.

"Why don't you then? When they come over must get to meet them," Stella said.

"It's a deal," said Michelle but she felt awful for her friend she didn't deserve to be in a loveless marriage especially to a bully like Matt.

***
November 1991

"Hi is that Michelle?" said an American accent.

"It is" said Michelle but sort of knowing who it could be.

"Oh Hi Michelle, this is Mike here, Stella's friend Mike from America"

"Oh Mike, hi there. I've heard so much about you," said Michelle.

"All good I hope" said Mike. Michelle warmed to him immediately she loved listening to his deep American accent. Stop this, this is Stella's friend here you're talking to and he must only be about nineteen.

"Of course" said Michelle coming back to her senses.

"Listen Michelle, we are coming to England in two weeks" he said. "We are doing two gigs in London and a couple up in Scotland. Do you think you could give the details to Stella? We're coming on the 6th December and will be at a pub called 'The Fox and Bear' and then the next night we will be playing at another pub called 'The Dog and Duck'. Mike laughed then. "You do call your pubs by weird names" he said.

"We do indeed," laughed Michelle. "I shall pass the information on to Stella," said Michelle. "I shall probably meet up with you too as Stella has promised to take me to one of your gigs." She said.

"That will be fantastic as I've heard so much about you too Michelle" said Mike. "I shall look forward to seeing Stella again and meeting you" he said. "Bye now" and then he was gone.

6th December 1991 - The Fox and Bear Pub

"Stella!" shouted Billie Joe. "Come here and give me a hug," he said. Billie Joe gave her a huge squeeze and Stella returned it.

"Let me look at you then, mom-to-be" said Billie. He checked Stella over and placed a hand on her stomach. "Aww... there's a tiny baby Stella in here," he said gently stroking her stomach. "How are you doing?" said Billie. Billie actually felt weird because the last time he saw Stella, Jessie was with her. He didn't think of Jessie every day like he did at first but he thought of her quite often and little things would set his thoughts off. This was one of them. He didn't feel sad as he had his Adrienne now but he felt slightly weird. He reached then to touch his chains and Stella noticed this. Billie saw her looking but they both didn't react to it.

"I'm doing good Billie," said Stella. "Let me introduce you to my friend Michelle, Michelle this is Billie"

They shook hands. "You're the lovely lady we've heard so much about," said Billie. "I hear you've been taking good care of this little lady for us" he said winking at Michelle.

"Well I try to," said Michelle, suddenly overcome by shyness. She was really meeting these guys that she'd heard so much about over the past months and listened to their music. She was shy suddenly and she didn't know why.

"I suppose you want to know where the other two are?" said Billie looking around. "I think Tre is probably talking to a group of girls somewhere and Mike.... I think Mike is tuning up his guitar but he should be out in a while. Actually, I'll go see if I can find him," said Billie.

Billie found Mike in the back room of the pub tuning up his bass.

"Hey dude, Stella's here," said Billie.

"How does she look?" said Mike putting down his bass.

"Fucking dreadful" said Billie. "But I had to hide the fact that she looked dreadful. She's real thin man and she's got these awful clothes on. She used to wear such good clothes, stylish. Her hair isn't shiny anymore and she looks sad dude. I thought I'd better prepare you," he said. "Where's Anastasia?" he said.

"She's coming along later, she's still looking at the London sites. Adrienne?" said Mike.

"In the ladies room" said Billie. "Come on" said Billie. "Don't look surprised when you see her, she looks awful but I don't mean it nastily. I don't believe that Matt guy is looking after her at all," he said.

He put his arm round his old pal and Mike was visibly shocked when he saw Stella. Michelle noticed it but Stella didn't, she was just pleased to see Mike.

"Stella" said Mike going over to hug her. She was all skin and bone apart from a little bump that stuck out the front. Her baby.

"Mike" said Stella. They hugged but she felt as though Mike was holding back for some reason, may be it was because Ana was somewhere around thought Stella.

"Its good to see you" said Stella taking a step back and looking at him. He hadn't changed much. "Hey you must let me have a look at those other tats that you had done," said Stella suddenly. "You promised to send pictures of them but you never did."

Mike rolled up his sleeve then and showed her.

"I love them," said Stella putting out her finger and touching one. His forearms were rock hard from his guitaring.

"Oh Mike" said Stella. "I must introduce you to my friend Michelle. Michelle, this is Mike" she said. Mike shook Michelle's hands and said Hi. His blue eyes twinkled at her and she knew that he was a decent guy.

Suddenly a squeaky voice shouted "Stella? Is that you?" It was Anastasia. Stella had for an instant forgotten about her. Anastasia came over to the crowd of friends. "Oh my god Stella" said Anastasia, "you've changed. Have you lost weight?" she said.

"A little" said Stella.

"You look so.... different" said Anastasia. Billie glared at Ana thinking how could she be so insensitive towards Stella. Mike kept quiet.

A voice from the side of the stage shouted

"You guys have to go on now"

"We'd better go and find Tre then" said Billie.

"Yeah, we'll catch up with you ladies later" said Mike.

"Yes bye Stella," said Ana following closely behind Mike and the three of them walked backstage to find their friend Tre.

"Come on Stella" said Michelle. "Lets go get a seat and watch the show" and the two girls walked out to the front near the stage.

***
"Well... I'd never have believed that they'd be that good" said Michelle. "They rocked."

"See.. They're so good live aren't they" said Stella. "Shall we see if we can go back and find them again" said Stella. "I'd love to stay and chat but I told Matt that I'd be home at midnight and its 11.30 now. I really should go and chat to them quickly then be on my way." She said.

"Fuck him" thought Michelle watching her friend nervously twiddle at her wedding ring that was now far too big for her.

As the girls walked down the corridor Mike and Billie Joe were coming towards them and Stella's heart lurched. She loved these guys and a little bit of her wished she could just stay with them forever in their world. She went to Mike then and hugged him tight, that was better Stella thought, more like one of our old hugs and Billie, well he hugged too and squeezed her but was aware of her swollen belly. As he pulled away from her he gently touched her stomach. Awww, bless Billie she thought.

"You bitch" she suddenly heard. She turned and it was Matt coming towards her, he looked so angry. Mike and Billie looked over and Michelle turned also.

"I just knew it, you're a lying, cheating Bitch, well, this just proves it" said Matt getting up close to her. His breath stank of stale beer and his eyes were bloodshot and angry.

"You told me you were at HER place tonight" said Matt spitting away at her and pointing over at Michelle.

"Now hold on a minute here," said Mike getting a little anxious.

"Oh and who are you?" said Matt turning to Mike and squaring up to him "and you" he said looking at Billie. Michelle noticed Billie's fists clenching and unclenching.

"We're the band that Stella has been listening to," said Mike.

"Oh" said Matt turning back to Stella. He got so close to her that she started to shake. "Not satisfied with shagging just one guy on the side, you have to take a whole band on now do you?" he said grabbing at Stella's arm.

"Ouch, you're hurting Matt" said Stella. She felt sick; she'd never seen him this angry and she put her hand on her stomach protectively. Suddenly Matt was flung backwards and thrown against the wall. Stella saw Tre holding Matt by his shirt collar and Tre's face was about half an inch away from Matt's.

"You EVER touch Stella again like that and you'll have to go through me first you motherfucking asshole" said Tre spitting at Matt and not letting go of his shirt. Tre was just staring him out.

"And then US" shouted Billie Joe looking on. Michelle noticed Billie was sort of itching to get in there and she was sure that if this Tre guy hadn't turned up Billie would have decked Matt.

"Who... who are you?" Matt whispered looking at Tre. Tre had hold of his shirt but he also had hold of his skin and Matt was scared to move.

"Me?" said Tre. "I'm Tre Cool. Don't ever forget that name buddy coz I'm gonna haunt you" he said, still looking into his eyes venomously.

"Oh right" said Matt now shaking. He was completely sober now.

"Yeah, right" said Tre and he half flung and pushed Matt away from him and wiped his hands on his trousers still staring at Matt and looking him directly in the eye.

"Stella come with me," said Michelle leading Stella away, "I think these guys need to talk," she said and lead Stella away to the back room of the pub.

*
Billie entered the room first. He saw Stella sitting on a sofa hugging a mug of coffee, Michelle sitting next to her with her arm flung around Stella's shoulder. Stella had been crying and her eyes were red and bloodshot. She looked up at him when he entered the room.

"What's happening?" said Stella.

"We've sorted it out," said Billie.

"What do you mean 'sorted it out'?" said Stella.

"The Matt guy, he's gone," said Billie.

"GONE? What do you mean gone?" said Stella.

"We had a word with him" said Billie. "We thought it was what you wanted"

Mike entered the room then. "Stella are you OK?" he said.

"I think so," said Stella. "But Billie says that Matt has gone. Where has he gone?" she said. She felt nervous and sick. She knew that these guys wouldn't be around for her soon that they would be finishing up in England and going back to sunny California. She knew that once they'd gone that Matt would be back and... lord knows what he'd do to her then. She was scared and started shaking.

"Hey Stella, its OK" said Michelle feeling her friend shaking next to her.

"Is it?" said Stella. Her eyes were glazed and scared. Mike hated seeing her like this.

"Mike?" said Ana entering the room. "The manager wants to see you and Billie. He says he's not going to pay you tonight because of" she looked at Stella and whispered the rest "because of the going's on" said Ana.

"Oh does he now" said Billie, anger rising up in him and leaving the room

"You'd best go after him Mike," said Ana.

Mike followed Billie out the door and Ana went across to Stella and sat the other side of her and put her arm on her leg.

"Oh Stella, I didn't realise what you were going through" she said kindly.

"Its OK" sniffed Stella. "Its fine, I could have left any time but... I sort of liked Matt. I know its hard to believe but sometimes... occasionally he was the good Matt that first attracted me to him and... " Stella touched her stomach again. "I am going to have his baby after all," she said.

"What will you do now?" said Ana.

"I'm not sure but... I know I can't take him back, I can't" sniffed Stella. "He's made me ill, just look at me, I've lost loads of weight and" she touched her hair "what happened to my glossy hair" she said. "God if Jessie could see me now she'd have something to say about it" and she sobbed and laughed at the same time.

Ana hugged this girl and felt so sorry for. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to be with someone who was a bully, she was so glad she had Mike.

Stella hugged Ana and felt jealous. Ana was so lucky to have someone like Mike; she could never imagine him treating anyone like that.

"I'm just going to see if everything's OK," said Ana, she gave Stella a small squeeze and and left the room.

"She seems nice," said Michelle.

"Yes she is" said Stella. "Her and Mike go well together" she said.

"Will you be OK for a moment?" said Michelle. "I need to visit the ladies," she said standing up.

"Of course I will" said Stella, "I'll be fine."

As Michelle left the room, Tre walked in.

"Hi butterfly," he whispered looking over at Stella. His heart was breaking just looking at her.

She looked up and smiled. "Hi" she said. She stood up and went towards him.

"Oh Tre" she said crying and going into his arms that he had held out to her. "I've been so stupid, what on earth was I doing with a guy like him?" she sobbed into his T-shirt.

"We all thought that," said Tre. "We knew he was a jerk from your letters" he said. "Anyway, he's gone now. He said he doesn't want anything to do with you," he said. "I'm sorry Stella"

"But the baby" said Stella looking up at Tre with watery red eyes.

Tre looked away. "I'm sorry.. he said he didn't want it in the first place" said Tre.

"Oh my god" said Stella. "What do I do?" she said.

"That's simple," said Tre. "Come back with us to California so we can take care of you" said Tre.

Stella was shocked.

"Why would I come to California Tre? My life is here" she said.

"I'm sick of hearing this same old story," said Tre. "Come and be with us. The guys and I have talked, you can stay with Billie and Mike and take time to recover, to get your strength back to get ready for your baby," he said.

"Oh Tre" she said. "You guys are so good and kind to me but, I'm not sure Tre. I'm really not sure what to do," she said.