Sequel: Faithfully Yours

Lots of Love, Mike

Dookie

March 1994

Stella felt sick from tiredness but she couldn't sleep. It was her birthday tomorrow and she was going to be 22. At that moment she felt like 82. She decided to get up and get herself a drink of water from the kitchen. All was quiet in the house. She actually liked the middle of the night; it was the only time that she could think. Ryan was over two now and he slept through the night which was a blessing.

She crept down the stairs and into the kitchen, poured herself a glass of water and sat at the table.

Yes it was her 22nd birthday and she wasn't going to be going anywhere for she was stuck here looking after Ryan and her mother.

She thought back then to the phone call back in September. Two days before she SHOULD have been going off to America to start her new life with Ryan. It wasn't meant to be. Her mother had been rushed to hospital as she had been confused and was wandering around the town centre flinging her arms about and uttering strange words. She was pushing Ryan and he had been hysterical apparently. Her mother had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease they told her and would need constant care and attention. Who would do it? It had to be her of course.

Sometimes Stella felt guilty because she didn't want to be here looking after her mother. She wanted to be away over in America with her friends enjoying herself. She was only 22 after all and apart from having Ryan she felt like her life had ended. The only time away from the home she got was when the care worker came for two hours a day and they bathed her mother. She got out of the house then, away from the sickness and the moaning. Away from it all but of course it was never far enough.

Stella drank her water down then wandered out into the hall. She spotted herself in the hall mirror and noticed how awful she looked. She was thin with stringy hair. She hadn't had her hair cut in months and couldn't remember the last time she put make up on. Her clothes hung off her and her skin looked an odd colour, sort of yellowy and she had grey bags under her eyes. She was going to be 22 tomorrow but she FELT and LOOKED 82.

**

"Here it is," said Tre coming into the house. "Dookie." He laid a brand new copy of their new album out on the coffee table.

Everyone gathered round. Michelle was there too. She had come over from England after all and felt so guilty leaving Stella behind but she knew she had to come out. She visited England every six months and she hated what she saw but there was nothing that anyone could do about it. Stella had to look after her mother because there was nobody else.

"Oh my god," said Mike, "is that really it?" he said.

"Yeah man, all our hard work is in there," said Billie lying back and taking a puff from his joint. He had a little tin full of joints and handed them around. Everyone took one and then Adi came out from the kitchen with a bottle of champagne.

"Oh my god, champagne," said Ana

"I've been saving up for this moment," said Adi. "It's been a long time coming."

"I know," said Ana looking at Mike. "We've hardly seen the boys at all, they seem to have been out at the studio 24 hours a day."

"Where's Lisea Tre?" asked Adi. "Is she coming?"

"She's with her parents in New York for the weekend," said Tre but he didn't say that they had a major argument and it was to do with Stella.

Lisea thought he spent too much time writing to her and he'd phoned her on a number of occasions. She didn't like it but he said she was an old friend and he wanted to ring her to try and cheer her up. She didn't like the fact that he enjoyed speaking to Stella. She was jealous but he didn't care, it was her problem and there was no way that he was going to stop writing or calling up Stella. She needed good friends around her even if they were hundreds of miles away.

"Lets play it," said Ana

"No way," said Billie. "I don't want to listen to it. How about we go out and get pissed?" He said.

"Sounds good to me," said Tre.

"Me too," said Mike. Ana and Adi rolled their eyes.

"OK. If you can't beat them, join them," they said.

"When is Lisea back?" said Adi.

"Not sure, may be Monday," said Tre.

**

Dear Stella

Here it is. It's the album Dookie. I do so hope you enjoy it. How is your mother? I don't suppose there is much change in her is there and how's little Ryan? As gorgeous as ever I bet. I cannot believe that Tre had sent over a miniature drum kit for him. Well.. hell yeah I can actually believe it, that's Tre. Him and Lisea are really an item now. They do argue a lot but they have this kind of love hate thing going on. You never know from one day to the next if they are in love or they've had some sort of major row. Sometimes we think that's it, the argument was so huge that it has to be over and then the next day they are back together again as if nothing happened. Weird.

We've got our tour dates planned and guess what? We're going to make our very first video. It's called Longview and its going to be filmed here in our apartment. Billie has to trash it a little bit so we're going to get a new sofa out of it.

I shall let you know our tour dates and hopefully we can meet up when we are in England.

I can't wait to see you and little Ryan again.

Lots of Love

Mike x


And I can't wait to see you again. When on earth will it be?

Ryan was crying then and Stella went to him. It must be hard for him having a miserable mother looking after him. He was such a lively boy and she was actually glad that Tre had sent the drum kit over. He loved it so much and spent ages banging away at it. She'd sent photographs over of him banging his drums. Tre had written back saying that when he was older he would pay for drum lessons for him. Billie Joe also said that he would pay for singing lessons and Mike would set him up with guitar lessons. What fabulous uncles they were. They were always calling her as they knew how lonely she was. She loved them all but just wanted to be with them.

*
June 1994

"Adrienne?" said Billie coming into their bedroom. She looked up at him. He was so handsome and she loved his hair, he had just bleached it.

"Yes," she said. He was holding something behind his back. What was he up to now?

Then he came bounding over to the bed and sat down next to her looking at her all dreamily.

"What is it Billie?" she asked him. He was DEINATELY up to something.

"I need to ask you something," he said grinning away.

"Yeeeees, what is it?" Said Adrienne confused now.

"Marry me," he said simply.

"What? Oh Billie. Did I hear you right?" she said grinning from ear to ear.

"You did. Marry me Adrienne, you make me so happy," he said and handed her a little box with an engagement ring inside.

"Oh Billie, of course I'll marry you, when shall we do it?"

"How about soon. How about in two weeks before we go on tour?" said Billie watching the girl he loved checking out the ring he had bough her.

"Two weeks? You're kidding," said Adrienne placing the ring on her finger, a perfect fit.

"Nope. Two weeks. I want to be married to you Adrienne Nesser as soon as possible."

*

"Listen Ryan, hear that song, isn't it wonderful?" said Stella.

Stella had been playing Dookie all morning while doing some housework. Little Ryan had been playing his little drum kit and her mother was sitting in a chair dozing. The record was on fairly quiet but every time she played Basket Case Ryan hit the drums just that little bit harder. Stella laughed to herself. Tre had told her that was his favourite song off the album. It was hers too.

She couldn't imagine the guys making a video. She would finally get to see them at last. The album was really popular over here in England too and she couldn't wait to see meet up with them when they toured.

Her mother's helper often came in and while she was playing Dookie the helper, Trudy had said that her son was really into Green Day. Stella wanted to say that she knew them but couldn't be bothered to explain it. She was sure that people wouldn't believe her anyway.

She felt sad sometimes but then not for long. She felt as though Mike's Tre's and Billie's lives were just beginning and she knew that they were already becoming famous. She couldn't be jealous, they were her best friends and she was proud of them, they deserved it. All she wished for was to be with them all. It was impossible.

The doctor was due in about half an hour to give her mother her monthly check over. He was a new doctor, Doctor Wilson from the hospital, she'd never met him before but she'd hated the last doctor who told her that her mother needed constant attention. She gave it didn't she?

*

"Hi," said the Doctor as she opened the door. He was gorgeous; he was tall with dark hair and these brilliant blue eyes that stood out in his face. He was dressed in a smart suit and as he passed her by she could smell him. He smelt good.

She felt suddenly dowdy and frumpy and ugly. She put her hand up to her hair as if that would make a difference. She showed him to the living room where her mother was sitting then asked him if he'd like a cup of tea. It was only polite after all. The other doctor had always said no and he probably would too.

"I'd love one," he said looking at her with sparkly blue eyes. She went off to the kitchen then, feeling slightly flustered. Did she have time to go upstairs and make herself more presentable? No she didn't. What did it matter anyway? He wouldn't look twice at her.

She was just pouring the tea when the doctor came out into the kitchen.

"May I?" he said nodding towards the kitchen table.

"Of course," said Stella placing the mugs onto the table and sitting down with him. What was he going to tell her now? What had she been doing wrong?

"You do know that your mother won't get any better Stella don't you?" said the doctor. "In fact she is going to get worse."

"I wasn't sure," said Stella. "Doctor Fitch didn't tell me much about the disease."

"Have you ever thought about putting your mother into a care home?" he said gently.

"What? I couldn't do that," said Stella shocked.

"Why not?" said the doctor.

"Because... she's my mother."

"And yes and you have a life too. You are young and you have a little boy who needs you. If she went into the care home she could be looked after 24/7. You could still visit her and you can have her home some days, even overnight if you wanted. Think about your health here too," he said kindly.

He was so kind that Stella burst out crying.

"Hey I'm sorry to upset you but you must look after yourself too," said the doctor.

"When was the last time that you went out and enjoyed yourself?" he said.

"I can't remember," said Stella.

"Think of yourself and your little one," he said looking at Ryan who had just toddled into the room. He was carrying the Dookie album.

"Hey little fella," said the doctor "you have good taste in music" he said. "I have just got myself that album."

"Really?" said Stella looking at the doctor in his smart suit.

He noticed her looking.

"Oh I don't generally dress like this," said the doctor, "I have punk rocker running through my veins."

Stella looked as though she didn't believe him.

He rolled his sleeve up and showed her some of his tattoos. Very impressive.

Stella laughed.

"Seriously think about what I said," said the Doctor.

"Thank you Doctor," said Stella.

"Please call me Frank," said the doctor.

"Oh. Frank." She immediately thought of Tre.

"Look... can I call around in a couple of days? May be you've made a decision by then and I can help you along. Anyway I know I shouldn't but if you can would you er... would you like to come out with me one evening. I know this great local punk band. They're wonderful and if you like Green Day... you're bound to like them," he said.

"I'd love to," said Stella. She'd love to go out with this guy. He was handsome and he'd asked her out, even though she looked and felt like shit. She'd get someone to sit in with her mother and little Ryan. She had to. She wanted to go out with Frank.

*

"Oh my god Michelle, so they're getting married. How wonderful and about time. When's the big day?" said Stella into the phone.

"Next week," said Michelle.

"How wonderful and romantic. I wish I could be there."

"I know sweetheart but we'll send you loads of pictures, don't you worry. You'll be there in spirit."

"How fantastic, I must write and congratulate them," she said.

Stella went on to tell Michelle about what the doctor said about her mother.

"It's such a good idea," said Michelle. "You need to do it Stella, you need to have a life too."

The doctor was due round soon. She'd already spoken to all the guys in America and they thought it was such a good idea that she should put her mother in a home, if just for the sake of little Ryan. Her mother would be well looked after and she'd get time to herself and could see her mother anytime and like the doctor said she could even bring her mother home some days. She'd made her decision.

"I know but I feel slightly guilty."

"Why?" said Michelle.

"She's my mum and I'm sending her away," said Stella.

"She's your mum and she wouldn't want you to look like you do running around after her. You were going to America anyway. Think about what she would want if she could speak to you properly. She'd want you to have a life and the doctor, Frank he sounds gorgeous. When are you going out?"

"I don't know. It was just something he said."

"I'd fucking go and enjoy myself," said Michelle. "You need to. Anyway why haven't we received any pictures of Ryan just recently, and we've forgotten what YOU look like?"

"Because I've been too busy to take any," said Stella. God you wouldn't want to see me at the moment.

"See. You need to do this Stella, don't feel bad about it."

"I know," said Stella. "But I do."

*

Dear Billie and Adrienne

Congratulations once again to you both and thank you for the beautiful photographs. Adrienne you looked gorgeous and Billie, I love that hair and what about that extra special news. Imagine waking up on the day after you got married and you're pregnant Adrienne. How wonderful. You take care now of that little bump, you must send me some pictures of your growing tummy.

Oh and good luck with the tour Billie, hopefully we'll get to meet when you come over.

Love from

Stella x


Four months later...

Dear Stella

I am so glad to hear that your mother is settled in the care home and seems quite happy. I hope you are happy too. Ryan is beautiful and is growing into a really handsome little dude. I love the picture of him with our album Dookie, and hey, what's this about you dating some doctor guy called Frank? Michelle mentioned him. Please tell me all. You used to tell me everything. We're getting ready for our tour and do you know what? We'll be over in London in about three months but first we're touring the states and we just can't wait. We've got the apartment up for sale because apparently when we get back we won't be needing it we'll be able to afford big houses each. We're so happy at the moment Stella; everything is going just right for us. I want to ask Ana to marry me but I might wait until the tour is over and make it somewhere special, may be take her away and ask her.

See you in a few months and I can't wait to see little Ryan and you again.

Lots of Love

Mike x


So kind as usual, and you're going to ask Ana to marry you. About time Mike Dirnt thought Stella putting the letter away in her scrapbook. I hope you'll be very happy. Stella had thought long and hard about their relationship and realised ages ago that it was going nowhere. There was no way now that she could leave her mother and go to America. Her life was here. She was dating Frank, Ryan liked him and everything seemed fine.

Two months later... September 1994

Dear Stella

I hope you are keeping well and dating some guy called Frank I here. Frank is the best goddam name on the planet, after Tre that is so you keep a hold of your Frank he sounds like a good guy and a doctor too. Cool. He'd better treat you right or I'll stick his thermometer where the sun don't shine!

We're going to be in London next month. You'd better be coming to see us. We've arranged for some passes for you to come backstage. Mike will be sending them to you when we get them. We're still touring the states at the moment but Lisea isn't able to come out. I do miss her but sometimes we argue a lot when we spend too much time together. Ana and Adi knew I was writing to you and said to say hi to the gorgeous little dude called Ryan. How's he going with his drums? He'd better be good. Adrienne looks gorgeous but then she would never look any different. She has a little bump and it reminds me of when you had your little tiger bump when you visited us.

Any way little butterfly, see you very soon. Hey, I know you won't be bringing Ryan to the gig but... we must see him you know. Can we come over to your place? You don't know what its like we all NEED to see Ryan.

Take care

Lots of Love

Tre


"Oh my god you didn't tell me you were that friendly with them," said Frank.

"I've known them years," said Stella, "they are so lovely. Tre was actually at the birth of Ryan, I had him in America."

"No way, the drummer was there when you had Ryan? Fucking hell."

"Frank!" said Stella shocked, she'd never heard him swear before. "Doctors shouldn't swear," she laughed.

"We do sometimes," he said. "Mainly under our breath." He went over and hugged her. She was looking after herself again and had put on a little weight. She had colour in her cheeks and was able to spend some time on herself. She had had her hair cut and dyed and it really suited her.

"So... . looking forward to meeting Green day then Frank?" Stella teased.

"Yeah. I'll be shitting myself though," he said.

"Don't be silly, they're normal guys, better than normal. They're special." She said. "They've always been around for me. Kind, considerate, that's them."

"I didn't realise," said Frank.

"There's so much you don't realise," said Stella thinking back to the days at the beginning when they'd first started out, all the letters they had written, the visit to America and when they went to the Gilman, Jess and Billie falling in love and then she remembered kissing Mike and sleeping with Tre. God, had all that happened? Yeah it had and she'd never forgotten any of it.

"I have loads of letters upstairs, pictures, tickets when we went to America and gig tickets," said Stella.

"I can't wait to meet them actually," said Frank. "They're so talented."

"Very," said Stella. She couldn't wait either. They were coming over in one month and she was counting the days in her head...