Lots of Love, Mike

"Hey, excited sweetheart?" said Stella to Ryan.

"Of course Mum," said Ryan, "but... "

"What is it sweetheart, come here." She said going to him.

"Nobody believes me." He said looking down.

"What about?" Said Stella but she knew what this was about and it was all her fault.

"Nobody believes me that we know Green Day and are meeting them in two weeks."

"That's their problem."

"Is it?"

"Of course it is."

"But it's been two years Mum, I remember that weekend in London but... people don't believe me. Mum you've hardly showed me anything of there's, may be just the odd letter here and there. Have you got anything I can look at, anything I can show those kids?" he said pleadingly. My poor boy.

"Ryan, I have got stacks of stuff to show you." I said and I had, stacks of it.

"Where?"

"In my room on top of the wardrobe, there's a huge plastic box with a lid on it."

"Really, can I get it down?"

"You can but what on earth do you want to look at my old letters back and forth to Mike for?"

"Because they're famous and... mum, they are Green Day."

Stella laughed as she watched her boy go upstairs. She could hear him dragging a chair to the wardrobe, then the chair going back. She sat at the table waiting for him to come back down.

"Mum this weighs a ton, what on earth have you got in here?" He said struggling to put the box onto the table.

"My goodness its packed solid with letters and stuff, " said Stella, "I can't believe I've kept all this." But she could really as she'd never throw anything to do with Mike away. Ever.

She lifted the lid and there were about 8 scrapbooks full of pictures right from when they were younger.

"Can I take these away and have a look at them?" Said Ryan, his eyes alit.

"Of course but be careful, they're quite old now." Said Stella but suddenly engrossed at some of the items in the box. There was a small jewellery box and she knew full well what was in it, it was the charm bracelet. She hadn't worn it for years, may be now it was time to get it out again.

She smiled to herself looking at all the charms, the tiny silver ones, the piano, the letter 'S', they were all there and then the little butterfly with the yellow wings. It still stood out amongst the rest of them. She clipped it onto herself; memories of Mike flooding back to her and memories of Tre too. She blushed to herself, what the hell had she been playing at? They were famous men now and she was... well she was a nobody.

Then there was the bundle of letters. She read the first ever one that he had written to her...

... it took her back to that time at school when everyone thought that they wouldn't stay in contact. Well they were wrong and she was proud of that fact, they had written for years and shared so much information.

She sat there for an hour reading through all the letters but she could only manage to get through half of them. There was talk about her old dog Fatso, about her Dad leaving and setting up home with his new family. She never did see her father again. She was just reading the letters from the time when Jessie died, and her eyes suddenly filled up with tears again when Ryan came back into the room.

"Oh mum, those photographs are fabulous, you've got so many pictures of them. I've never seen these pictures on any of their websites. They're great."

"Now don't you getting any ideas mister." Said Stella. "These photographs are mine and they are staying right here, you're not posting them on any websites."

"Can't I show people?" said Ryan, his face suddenly downcast.

"I tell you what, take some copies, but those copies are not to leave your hands, you hear."

"I promise." Said Ryan smiling again.

"Oh and I'll choose which ones." Said Stella.

"That's fine. Oh and mum?"

"Hmmmm darling" said Stella packing away some of the letters back into their envelopes.

"Jessica."

Stella looked up.

"That's her in this picture isn't it?" He said showing her a picture of Billie and Jessica looking at each other, all those years ago.

"It is." Said Stella. She had a lump in her throat looking at together just looking at each other and so obviously in love.

"She was beautiful wasn't she?"

"Yep, she sure was." Said Stella, she couldn't take her eyes from the picture. It seemed like so long ago. She wondered if Jess had of lived would they be together still. Who knew?

"But... why... why is there no mention of her anywhere? I've read books on Green Day, looked on the websites, there's nothing mum, nothing mentioned at all. Are you telling the truth about Jessie?"

As soon as he said it, he felt wrong for having said it.

Stella looked disappointed in him.

"Ryan, not everything they have done is on websites and in books and magazines. Some things remain private. Billie found it hard after Jessica had died and he... he kept it to himself. He hardly speaks of her but... look, read these, may be this will convince you." and she handed him a bundle of letters.

"Look Ryan; why not spend the evening reading through these. These go right back from the beginning. I don't mind, they're my personal letters but may be it will help you understand my relationship with them. Its fine, go ahead."

"Can I take them up to my room?" He said.

"Of course you can." she said as she helped him put some of the stuff back in the box. He put the lid on it and carried the box out of the room and up the stairs.

He's taking my life with him she thought.

*

3 hours later and Ryan was still up in his room. She didn't really want to disturb him but it was getting late and he had school tomorrow. She made him a drink and took that and a couple of biscuits up to him.

His door was shut.

She knocked quietly.

"Ryan, you OK honey, I've a drink for you here and something to eat."

"Mum, come in." said Ryan.

He was sitting on the floor with all the letters around him.

"Oh Ryan." she said looking at all her letters around the floor.

"Its OK mum, they're still in order. I know exactly what order they're in."

"OK. I believe you." Said Stella.

"Mum some of these letters are awesome. I didn't realise how often you used to write to each other."

"Finish up soon honey, it's getting late. You can always read the rest tomorrow."

"Actually mum I've nearly finished."

"Oh, good." said Stella turning to leave the room and sort Jessica out.

"Mum?" Whispered Ryan.

"Yes." Said Stella turning to him.

"Some of the letters you wrote to Mike... Mum they're so embarrassing; I can't believe some of things you used to tell each other."

Stella just smiled and Ryan, bless him, he blushed.

**

Stella checked on her daughter asleep in her bed. She was gorgeous, she'd been such a good baby and she was beautiful as she brushed the hair off her face and kissed her soft cheek.

"Goodnight precious." Said Stella turning on the night-light and stepping out of the room.

As she looked back at the doorway, Stella made a decision. She had an important letter to write to Mike, to explain and just after that was going to write to Michelle to tell her what she'd done.