Lots of Love, Mike

Before Stella knew it, Mike was in the room. He came up to Stella straight away and they hugged, just like the old days. Her breath caught in her throat, she always forgot how tall he was. It was one of those hugs that just said everything would be ok.

He pulled back and looked at her. Stella felt everyone’s eyes on them.

“I need to say something,” she said to Mike.

“And what’s that?” He was still looking at her with his familiar eyes, his neck was damp from sweat and she could see the small amount of chest hair he had just peeping out above his top.

“I’m sorry.” Stella practically whispered it.

“Don’t be silly,” said Mike hugging her once again. “What have you got to be sorry for?”

Suddenly they heard the door close quietly. They looked around and everyone had gone. Everyone had left them to be alone.

Mike walked over to the sofa and sat down indicating to Stella to come and sit next to him. She did and he put his arm around her shoulder.

“We’ve read your letter.” He said, “all of us and I didn’t realise. What you said about Tre. I didn’t realise that you and he... when on earth did all that start?

“The first time I came out. That was the first time; we slept together quite a few nights after that. He’d climb the drainpipe and get into the room. Then the next time was when I came out and you weren’t there. We slept together then as well.” She didn’t mind Mike knowing this now. They were older and it was all a long time ago.

“I remember now,” said Mike. “I remember Tre saying that he had ‘shown’ you a few things. The cheeky bastard.” Said Mike shaking his head and smiling then his eyes were drawn to something.

“Hey, the charm bracelet,” he said putting his hand out and touching the charms, “I remember buying each and every one of these,” he said, “but not this one,” said Mike fingering the little butterfly with the gold wings.

“That’s because you didn’t buy it, Tre did,” said Stella watching Mike’s fingers holding the little butterfly charm.

“It’s beautiful, a beautiful butterfly. I didn’t know he’d bought this,” said Mike.

“I felt guilty that time Tre and I were together when you were away touring,” said Stella suddenly.

“Why was that?” Mike said then frowned.

“Because you were always the one on my mind. Constantly. I always wanted you… always. Especially that weekend…I realised then who I really, finally wanted.”

“That was a wonderful weekend.” Said Mike with a very faint blush on his cheeks.

“Yes. I learnt a lot that weekend….”

Two Years Earlier
London

It had become a regular agreement that whenever the guys were in London Stella and Ryan would stay with them for the weekend. It worked out that it happened about twice a year, they all caught up, had a great time, fun, laughter, hugs, just a group of friends together and their children enjoying themselves.

This particular weekend Mike and his then wife Sarah were going through a bad patch. Sarah and Stella had never really got that close. Sarah knew that Anastasia and Stella were still very good friends and she’d been a little jealous about this but Stella didn’t give two hoots about what this Sarah thought, she loved Anastasia, she had always been a good friend over the years and however Sarah looked at her it didn’t bother her one iota.

Sarah hadn’t come this time and Stella was kind of glad, it meant that she could spend some time chatting to Mike and she couldn’t do that easily when Sarah was around. On the Friday evening they’d all got drunk while they were at a nightclub.

Mike and Stella had been dancing together all night, getting closer all the time. Billie and Adrienne had noticed this; they were sitting at a side table watching the pair on the dance floor. It was just the four of them out that evening as Tre was flying in the next day, the Saturday.

Adrienne whispered to Billie. “They look good together, I wonder if anything will develop?” she said.

“No I don’t think so,” said Billie, “it would have happened years ago. They’re just good friends, enjoying each other’s company, don’t read anything into it Adi.” Said Billie shaking his head at his wife.

But they were wrong because that evening, back at the hotel when Adrienne and Billie had gone back to their room, Mike invited Stella back to his room for a coffee.

Of course she agreed, her head was buzzing and she felt on top of the world. She’d felt good earlier, dancing close to Mike and being held in his arms had made her feel wanted again, wanted and attractive and womanly. She hadn’t felt like that in years and that feeling along with the alcohol coursed through her veins.

Back in the hotel room it was obvious that they wanted each other, they stripped off, got into bed and it happened.

Finally.

Stella and Mike made love.

It was urgent and sweet but after they’d finished Stella felt apprehensive. Her head felt woozy all of a sudden and she somehow wished she hadn’t gone back to Mike’s room after all. The drink had sent her there and she somehow knew that everything would change after this.

Mike slept with his back to her and she hardly slept for most of the night, damning herself for being so stupid.

She had been wrong after all.

She was a fool.

She fell asleep eventually and when she woke there was a note on the pillow from Mike.

Dear Stella

Thank you for a wonderful night, it was beautiful and I enjoyed myself very much. Sarah called early this morning. She is in London and I’m going to meet her for breakfast and then we’re heading off to the country for a few days together.

I know you’ll understand, you’re my Stella and you’ve always been there for me. Sarah is the one for me; I feel it in my bones.

Take care Stella

Write soon

Lots of Love, Mike x

Stella felt so sick she immediately ran to the bathroom and threw up.

She’d made a huge mistake. Mike had let her down, he wasn’t the man she thought he was but then she’d read all the signals wrong. Last night was just… a mutual one off thing, a little pleasure for both of them.

She felt let down but she was half to blame. She’d wanted it as much as him.

I am an idiot and a fool Stella thought to herself.

Later…

Billie and Adrienne had gone shopping and had taken the children with them so she was alone at the hotel and boy, did she feel alone. Why had she come this time? Everything had changed.

She decided to go for a walk so putting her coat on she headed down in the elevator. As the doors pinged open someone was standing there.

A familiar face.

Tre.

“Hey… butterfly,” said Tre dropping his bags immediately and hugging Stella.

“Ouch, you hurt,” said Stella smiling at him.

“Where’s the tiger?” Tre said.

“Oh he’s out with Billie and Adrienne, shopping and no doubt he’ll come back with a bag full of stuff, you know what they’re like for spoiling him.”

“I want to spoil him too,” said Tre, “I’m jealous. Anyway, where’s Mike?”

“He’s gone to the country to be with Sarah.”

“Sarah’s a bitch,” said Tre. This wasn’t like him.

“Tre!” said Stella, shocked by his attitude.

“She is. You’ll see, they won’t last; she won’t handle it when it comes down to it. Look, come upstairs with me while I dump my bag, then shall we have some lunch together?”

“Why not?” said Stella, glad of the company and Tre’s company was just the best.

“Tre I can’t thank you enough for coming to my mother’s funeral.” Said Stella.

“I had to come, I wanted to come,” he said.

“Are you OK?” Said Tre, “you look, upset.”

“I… I am,” said Stella bursting out in tears.

As she did so the elevator doors pinged open and there was a group of people waiting to get in. Tre quickly picked up his bag and ushered her out and along the corridor to his room, she was sniffing alongside him, something had upset her.

When the door closed behind him he watched Stella walk over to the window and look out. He went to her and stood behind her, hands on her shoulders.

“What is it butterfly? What’s upset you?” Said Tre

“Its nothing… nothing at all… I’m just emotional at the moment,” Stella said sniffing and turning to him.

“Why are you emotional, still thinking about your mother?” He said stroking at her hair soothingly.

“Um… yeah.” Said Stella but knowing that wasn’t the real reason. She was upset because she’d slept with Mike and she shouldn’t have.

“Stella it’s only been a couple of months you know. You’ll miss her forever but it will get easier.”

“It’s not just that…”

“What is it then, you’re worrying me now? Is Ryan OK?” said Tre concerned.

“Ryan’s fine,” she said turning to him, “its just I’ve made a mistake.” She said.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” asked Tre.

“Maybe but not yet. Let me freshen up and lets have lunch shall we?” said Stella tugging on his tie.

“Yep, I’m starving,” said Tre. He watched Stella walk to the bathroom. He was worried about her.

**

“Are you full yet?” said Stella watching Tre

“I’m full,” he said rubbing his stomach.

“So how’s Claudia?” said Stella. “We’ve not spoken since my mother died and she called up to see if she could do anything. I love her, she’s great.” Said Stella.

His face changed.

“She’s good but didn’t want to come, we’re having a bad patch but we don’t want to split up or anything because of Frankito. She’s a great woman, good company but… something’s missing,” said Tre.

“I’m sorry, I always thought Claudia was good for you. I was hoping to see her and Frankito.”

“They stayed at home; she said it was for the best. Hey I’m sorry I could only stay for a couple of hours at the funeral, I would love to have stayed and caught up with you but…” he shrugged.

“Tre it was enough that you came. I’ll be forever grateful.”

“You know I was thinking the other day about Jessie.” Said Tre.

“Oh right.” Said Stella. “I think of her often.”

“Yeah, I was thinking about when we were all younger. I couldn’t remember her face and felt weird about it. Have you got a picture?” He said

“I have, I have a picture of all of us,” said Stella. “Its here, I keep it on me all the time.”

Stella got a photograph out and it was of all of them. Stella, Jessie, Billie next to her looking at her, Mike and then Tre at the side looking across at something.

“I always did wonder what you were looking at in this picture,” said Stella, “and I always meant to ask you.” She said pointing at himself in his younger years. My god they all looked so young and innocent back then.

“You.” Said Tre suddenly just looking at the picture.

“Pardon?” said Stella. Had she heard him right?

“I was looking at you.” He said looking up at her.

Stella blushed.

“Don’t you remember, later that night I came to you.” Said Tre. “It was your… our first time.”

“I remember.” Said Stella. How could she forget?

The waiter came over then with the bill. Tre insisted on paying then they left the restaurant and headed back to the hotel.

At the reception area someone called them over.

“I have had a phone call from Mr Armstrong. They have taken all the children to see a show, and then they are having dinner somewhere so won’t be back until later this evening.” Said the guy at the desk.

“Oh. Thank you for letting me know,” said Stella.

“So… what do we do now then?” Said Tre.

“How about a movie upstairs?” said Stella; “I could do with putting my feet up and relaxing while Ryan isn’t around.”

“Sounds good to me, we can share a bottle of wine and a good movie. Just what the doc ordered,” said Tre as they headed for the elevator.

“My room or yours?” said Tre as they entered the elevator

“Mine?” Said Stella pressing at one of the buttons,

“Yours it is,” said Tre.

Tre entered Stella’s room first, kicked off his shoes and lay back on the bed while Stella went and turned on the TV and changed it to the movie channel, she then got out a bottle of wine from the mini fridge and joined Tre on the huge bed.

“Can I take a look at that picture again?” said Tre before the movie started.

“Of course,” said Stella reaching down to her bag. Tre watched her, his eyes riveted.

“So you remember that night?” Said Tre holding the photograph again and remembering.

“How could I forget? You climbed the drainpipe to get to me.” Stella said smiling and remembering also. It had been so good with Tre and he’d made her first time so special.

“I’d climb a mountain to get to you,” said Tre seriously all of a sudden.

“Oh Tre,” said Stella, laughing at him and playfully smacking him.

“Seriously,” said Tre glancing at her, staring at her.

Stella was quiet but she couldn’t help but look back into his eyes, they were mesmerizing.

“I still love you Stella,” he said still looking.

“Tre…” said Stella, her heart pounding all of a sudden and not knowing what to say to him.

Then Tre leant across and he kissed her and Stella kissed him back, he touched her face and Stella touched his, his fingers flickered along her throat and her arms went about his neck.

It was as she remembered, no it was much better, much more mature, just what she’d needed, it was so beautiful but then it had always been good with Tre she’d just forgotten just how good.

They didn’t speak, just made love while the movie played away to itself and the wine grew warm as they made themselves familiar once again with each other’s bodies.

Later on as they lay together, with Stella wrapped up in his arms Tre spoke.

“I’ve always loved you, you know Stella.” He had to tell her once again.

“Have you? I remember you telling me once years ago. I didn’t realise that you still loved me.” And she hadn’t or had she? Had she just been avoiding it?

“How do you feel?” Asked Tre bringing her closer to him, the closest he could get her.

“Tre I’m not sure, I’m really not sure, I get so confused. It’s been quite a weekend for me.” Yes because I’ve now slept with both of them.

Mike and Tre.

“Its OK.” Said Tre.

“What about Claudia?” said Stella all of a sudden sitting up and looking at him.

“Well, we’re not together really as such although we’re living together for the sake of Frankito. It’s awkward. I care very much for her.” But if you said to me right now that you want to be with me, then I would be with you. I’ve waited this long to be with you Stella but you need to tell me. I need you to tell me that you love me and want to be with me and I’d be there like a shot.

“Of course you do, you have to be together for Franito’s sake.” She said, laying herself back down again. That was it then, he was going to stay with Claudia for Frankito’s sake.

That was it then, she wants me to be with Claudia, even though she knows we’re not properly together. She can’t love me.

Suddenly Stella realised she’d made another mistake. She slept with Mike and Tre and they’d both gone back to the other women in their lives.

She was worthless.

And this was how she’d felt for two years. Worthless. She’d found out she was pregnant, had avoided as much as possible talking and writing to the guys, she didn’t know who the father was for 9 long months until Jessie was born then she could just tell straight away, but by the time she was born everything had moved on then and she felt it was too late to tell them. Time had past and their letters and phone calls had lessened. Michelle knew about the baby and she’d had an argument telling her that she should tell the guys about Jessie. She hadn’t wanted to. To Stella it was easier to block them out.

How could she have blocked them out?

They were Green Day

They were her friends.

They loved her and she loved them.

She had been a fool, keeping a father from his daughter.

Back to 19th June 2005…

“So you were with Tre too that weekend in London?”

“I was and it wasn’t until afterwards that I realised who I really love,” said Stella wandering over to the window to look out.

She saw the crowds leaving the stadium, it was night and she looked up at the stars. She loved him so much. She just had to tell him.

She turned, but he spoke first.

“You realised only then, not before?” said Mike as she came towards him and sat herself back down onto the sofa.

“Not before, no.”

“Stella you love Tre don’t you?” said Mike. He thought it was obvious and he was glad for her for he loved Stella but not in that way.

“Yes Mike, I do love him and I’ve been a fool, blinded by you all this time when it was right under my nose that it was him, all along it was him and I didn’t realise. I always thought that you and I would get it together. Please tell me Mike did you ever think of me in that way, ever?” she said looking him directly in the eye.

“You know Stella, sometimes when I was down I always thought that may be you and I…” he said once again touching the little butterfly charm on her bracelet.

“Really?” said Stella.

“Yes, but I always had a doubt about us but I’ve always seen it in Tre you know, it was always in his eyes way back then, way back when we first met you and I was always a little jealous, I suppose you could say that I always thought you were mine but again, not in that way, mine because you wrote to me and told me everything. You know he told me only yesterday that he fell for you the very first time he met you at my house on my 17th birthday. He was only 16 then and he fell in love with you straight off. He said in the first five minutes he’d kissed you, tickled you and fell in love… just like that. But he also said he told you that he loved you, he told you all those years ago that he loved you. I couldn’t believe it.” said Mike.

“Yes Mike, but we were young, we were miles away and I was confused by my feelings for you.” Said Stella.

“I know but Stella it should always have been him. You and him, you’re made for one another, I think everyone has realised this now.”

“You’re right, it was always him and I’m a fool for not seeing it properly before. Its just that you and I had so much in common, we shared to much through our letters, our worries, we grew together and I mistook the affection for… for something else.” She said. “I was young, naïve and stupid.”

“What’s going to happen now? You both have Jessica to think of.” Said Mike.

“We do, little Jessica…” thought Stella thinking of her beautiful child, her and Tre’s child.

“The likeness…” said Mike, smiling all over his face, “its uncanny.”

“I know, it’s so obvious but I didn’t know for 9 long months, the longest months of my life,” she said.

“Oh Stella and we were busy then, its unforgivable that we let time slip by like that without contacting each other, lets promise we’ll never do it again,” said Mike bringing Stella close to him and kissing her on the side of the head.

“I promise and I hate myself, I need to explain to him Mike, properly explain. How could I do it to him, keep her from him?”

“I think Tre kind of understands the situation, as you know by now Tre’s a very understanding guy. He’s a lunatic, he’s outrageous and he’s crazy 99.9% of the time but he’s understanding too.”

“I hope so,” said Stella feeling slightly better but scared at having to face Tre, “but I’m just scared.”

“What the fuck are you scared of Tre for? Tre? Our Tre? He’s a pussycat,” said Mike.

There was a gentle knock at the door.

“Come in,” said Mike with his arm still around Stella’s shoulder.

The door slowly opened and then, there they were. Ryan was standing there in the pink flowery hat that Tre had worn earlier while singing ‘King for a Day’ and Tre, as gorgeous as ever was smiling all over his face carrying his little daughter Jessica in his arms.

“She’s beautiful Stella,” said Tre just looking at her.

Mike stood up from the sofa and walked towards Tre. He took Jessica from Tre’s arms, took Ryan’s hand and left the room with Stella’s children. The door slowly shut behind them.

“She’s just so very beautiful, just like her mom,” said Tre coming towards Stella but Stella looked away from him, guiltily.

“I’m evil, how can you say I’m beautiful?” she said suddenly.

“You? Evil?” said Tre. He was standing in front of her now, his black shirt open and his tie loose.

“I don’t think so Stella, you’re a beautiful butterfly and butterflies can’t be evil.”

She turned to him and she fell onto him longing for his strong muscular arms to go round her, which they did. She felt safe, she felt contented that she was here in his arms at last. It was what she had wanted for two whole years and she’d stupidly fought it, the longer it went on the worse it was and the more she wanted him.

Now she was here with him and she finally realised that it was where she always should have been because Tre was always the one that was there for her, always, and she’d been blind to it all along.

“Tre, I love you,” she said looking up at him, “and I’m sorry about having to tell you everything in a letter that I’d written to Mike.” Said Stella.

“Its Ok and you know something? I never actually read the letter.” Said Tre

“You didn’t?” said Stella, confused.

“Nope. I just looked at that photograph and I knew straight away that the letter would be telling me that I was Jessica’s father.”

“Really?”

“Really. Everyone else just presumed I’d read the letter. I just let them think that.”

“Do you want to read it?”

“Some day maybe but for now all I know is that I love you too and you know what? This time you had better come back with me and you can bring those beautiful children, Ryan and our little Jessica.” Said Tre stroking at Stella’s hair.

“Of course I’m coming back with you, I know where I belong now and I should have realised. I belong in America. With you.”

“With me and with all the other guys, we can’t wait for you to be with us.” He said.

They hugged tightly each of them enjoying the fact that they had finally got together. They looked at each other and Tre spoke.

“Come on Stella, let’s go and gather up our family and go home.”

And they did. They went back to America to live with Tre, one big happy family except for one thing that was slightly eating away at Stella and she knew she’d have to tell Tre someday, the fact that if Tre hadn’t read the letter then he didn’t know that she’d slept with Mike. She knew she’d tell him, she’d tell him soon when she was ready but for now she was enjoying being with the man she loved and her friends, all together at last.

The End.

Dear reader,

Thank you so much for reading,

Lots of Love, SaMMi x