Loving You From The Past

So this is me.

Thirty years of age.
In Southern California.
With a man I would be getting married to.

I haven't thought about him in so long.
Gave up every piece of memory I lingered on.
Got on with my life to have a chance at happiness.

But why is his face coming back in my dreams.

When in a month,
I would be marrying my beau.

His name is Sam.
My beau I mean.

And I was sure he would be the one.
To help me forget about him.

I was so sure,
that I even accepted his marriage offer.

I love Sam more than anyone I could knew.
But why does Gerard Way seem to be coming up
every time I mention the word love and Sam.

Gerard Way had hurt me.
He is in the past forever.
And I don't love him.

I think I don't love him.
I want to not love him.
I don't think I can ever stop loving him.