Loving You From The Past

Elena.
To the age of four.

I had matured to its deepest level.
I have found this intriguing love.
Not only was she under my
heart for nine months.
But she is proof
of my undying
past- filled
love I
had
for
.
.
.
.
him.

I wonder sometimes about him.
But it always get clogged up.
Because I see Sam.

He's taking Elena to her ballet lesson.
I encourage her to do everything I
never got a chance to do.
I want her to succeed.

So I'm stuck here doing dishes.
Scrubbing off dried food
stuck to the dishes.

But it's alright.
Because I have this peaceful love
surrounding all around me.

I'm alright now.
I'm finally alright.

The thing about Elena and Sam.
They have this wonderful bond together.
Exactly how a father and daughter should be.
It's good because I'm never planning on telling either of them.

That the reason they don't look alike.
Is because they are not shared by blood.

And this family doesn't need that sort of crap.
Since we're still living in this tiny apartment.
And we're barely making our payments.

I've became so consume in my thoughts.
That I didn't hear the knocking against the wood.

I sighed.
Turned off the water.
Took off the yellow rubber gloves.
Walked to the door.
To be in contact with him.

My throat was shaky.
I couldn't quite get any words out.
I felt myself getting angry.
But I put my lips to a tight line.

He tried to smile.
But realized it wasn't the time.
So he just went back to his nervous face.
Fidgeting with his fingers.

"Is it too late to see her?"
He asked with that same old accent.

It's him! I told you he'll be back!
My heart raves.

I screamed at it.
Until it finally went quiet.

"Polly, I understand if you're mad. But please, can I see her?"
He asked again.
This time pleads.

"You are not welcome here, Gerard."