Loving You From The Past

Noah finally got Allie.
From their summer of love.

Your first love will always follow you they say.

But this love will not.
I will not let it.

"Polly, please let me see her,"
he kept pleading.

I stiffened my posture.

"She's not even here,"
I told him.

Gerard lifted his face.
A frown deepening into his skin.

My face is getting hot.
I can feel my ears getting red.
Malicious thoughts running through my head.

"Why do you even want to see her? It's not like she means shit to you,"
I said with every intention of cruelty.

And Gerard felt it.
The sting that burned his heart.
Good, he deserves it.

"I know I haven't been there when she was born, and haven't been there for four years. I know I haven't been there for you when you were pregnant. I know I haven't been there when you were raising her. But can you at least tell me her name?"

I felt sorry for Gerard right now.
Him looking all pathetic on my front door.
I shouldn't enjoy this too much.
I wanted him to suffer.

"Elena,"
I told him.

He smiled.
Almost too happy for my taste.

"Elena? My grandmother's name was Elena. How did you-"

"Gerard. I told you her name. Will you please just go away."

His eyebrows furrowed.
He put his hands back into his pocket.
Looking at me as deciding whether to move or not.

Until I felt two warm lips against mine.
I froze, and stayed paralyzed to the floor.
But I couldn't resist Gerard's lips.
I quickly surrendered.

To his lips.
To his touch.
To his hands.
To his chest.
To his back.
To his arms.
To his wrist.
To his neck.
To his hips.
To his jaw.
To his eyes.
To his hair.
To his nose.
To his cheeks.

I surrendered myself to him.

Thinking about summer nights.
Where I kissed him like this.
While watching the stars.
But how can he kiss me like this?
Where they are no stars to begin with.

Becoming back to my senses.
My eyes started to water.
Snot dripping from my nose.
I pushed him off hard enough that he hit the wall.

Everything was spilling out.
I couldn't handle it.
I grabbed my hair.
Yanked to take the thoughts away.
But did no such things.

I met eyes with Gerard's.
And his stupid little smirk on his face.

I wanted to skin it off him.

My ears were smoking hot.
My face was a visible red.

"Gerard, how can you do this to me?"
I cried out.

Fell to the floor.
Face to the ground.
Tears dripping onto my skin.