Loving You From The Past

I don't know what to say.
I've hidden this from him.
I never wanted to tell him.
What would he think of me?

That I wasn't pure.
That I wasn't gold.
That I wasn't clean.

I can never want him to think that!
Because he might just run away from me.
Trying to scrub off all the dirt that carries
with me ever since I was nine.

And I don't know what to do.
I can't risk his thoughts.
Then an argument with Sam.

But I can't get into an argument with Sam.
Because it might hurt Elena.

I swallow the lumps in my throat.

"Gerard, this is not a time where we should be talking about that,"
I tell him as maturely as I could.

He scoffed at my sentence.

"This is the perfect time we should be talking about it."

"Sam and Elena are waiting for me at home. I need to go. I promise I'll tell you about it some other time."

He smirks.
Putting down my ring inch by inch.

"Make it a date, and I'll give you your ring back."

I roll my eyes.

"Fine."

And he put the ring gently on my palm.
Kissing me on the cheek before I left.
Where I would be facing hundreds of
suspicious questions from Sam.