Loving You From The Past

Why do I seem so strangely vulnerable to every piece of what life gives me?
Like this piece of meat and everybody is just cutting me open with a dull butter knife.
Moving it up and down - up and down - up and down.
I can't stop you from killing me so horribly.
But please understand.
I'm only human.

I had to run away.
I grabbed Elena.
Her crying so uncontrollably.

Please please stop crying Elena.
I know you don't want him to go.
I don't want him to go either.

Elena was cringing onto me.
Her nails so dugged into my skin.
Turning white as my flesh turned red.

"Mommy, I hate you! I hate you!"
She screamed at the top of her lungs.

I just stared at the sky.
Rushing toward the car.
Holding onto her for dear life.

"You made Daddy leave! You made Daddy leave! You're just a mean old lady, Mommy. I want you to die. I want you to die!"

I couldn't stare at her.
Just imagining the tears pouring down her face.
Her eyes so clench tight to escape the reality of it all.
Her face so red from clouds of fuming red horror of love.
I just couldn't stare at her.

I opened the car door.
She was beating unto my chest.
Her strength towards me so real.
It really did kill me inside.

Wishing for her want to come true.

And slammed the door as hard as possible.
So frustrated that my head was going to explode.

I didn't even see or hear her escape from my life.
In that one single second of my life.
I was just so in my own head.
I didn't see her run off.
Sneaking away.
With one...

scream.

My life.
My love.
My joy.
My child.