‹ Prequel: Inside My Arms
Loving You From The Past
Superman.
Listen?
To what?
To how incredibly stupid I am?
To how I need to forget about Elena?
Crap.
Just crap.
I just looked the other way.
From him so I wouldn't see those eyes.
Those damn eyes because…
Elena used to look at me with those same very eyes.
He didn't let go of my hands.
Followed my lines on my palm
with his fingers.
He sighed.
Loudly that I thought I could hear every muscle moving that took to make that one breath.
"Look, Polly. When I met you, I knew you were destructive. When your father died and I saw you in that cemetery crying on the floor, I couldn't really handle you. When you tried to kill yourself after that, I was going to give up on you. But you know why I didn't?"
I winced.
Bringing all that painful memories.
Don't fucking do this Gerard.
Don't, just don't.
"Because when you came home from the mental hospital, you kissed me. Do you know how fucking long I waited for you to kiss me? I waited eleven fucking years. I know you thought I hated you, but I never did! You thought I didn't care for you, but that's totally false. I loved you the first day I stole your toys, and I'll still love you even after death."
Huh?
Am I hearing you clearly?
"And that day you ran away from me. That day when we were about to have sex, and Frank punched me; I always questioned your love after that. Am I disgusting to you? What did I do to you to make you fly across the fucking country? To make me deserve all that pain you put inside my body? Huh, cause because of you my life is fucking shitty as hell."
I turned to him.
It hurts but I did so.
He reacted strongly.
Went to my side as quick as possible.
To come to my aid like the superman he is.
"Don't hurt yourself Polly,"
He says to me.
"Gerard, do you want the truth to why I ran away?"
I hoarsely ask him.
What's the point?
I know he does.
"I don't want to tell you, but I know you want nothing less from me but the truth."
There are tears coming from my eyes.
I can't stop them because it'll make my nose sting.
"Would you please tell me Polly?"
I nod to him.
And began hesitantly opening my mouth.
Waiting for that vocal to come through.
To what?
To how incredibly stupid I am?
To how I need to forget about Elena?
Crap.
Just crap.
I just looked the other way.
From him so I wouldn't see those eyes.
Those damn eyes because…
Elena used to look at me with those same very eyes.
He didn't let go of my hands.
Followed my lines on my palm
with his fingers.
He sighed.
Loudly that I thought I could hear every muscle moving that took to make that one breath.
"Look, Polly. When I met you, I knew you were destructive. When your father died and I saw you in that cemetery crying on the floor, I couldn't really handle you. When you tried to kill yourself after that, I was going to give up on you. But you know why I didn't?"
I winced.
Bringing all that painful memories.
Don't fucking do this Gerard.
Don't, just don't.
"Because when you came home from the mental hospital, you kissed me. Do you know how fucking long I waited for you to kiss me? I waited eleven fucking years. I know you thought I hated you, but I never did! You thought I didn't care for you, but that's totally false. I loved you the first day I stole your toys, and I'll still love you even after death."
Huh?
Am I hearing you clearly?
"And that day you ran away from me. That day when we were about to have sex, and Frank punched me; I always questioned your love after that. Am I disgusting to you? What did I do to you to make you fly across the fucking country? To make me deserve all that pain you put inside my body? Huh, cause because of you my life is fucking shitty as hell."
I turned to him.
It hurts but I did so.
He reacted strongly.
Went to my side as quick as possible.
To come to my aid like the superman he is.
"Don't hurt yourself Polly,"
He says to me.
"Gerard, do you want the truth to why I ran away?"
I hoarsely ask him.
What's the point?
I know he does.
"I don't want to tell you, but I know you want nothing less from me but the truth."
There are tears coming from my eyes.
I can't stop them because it'll make my nose sting.
"Would you please tell me Polly?"
I nod to him.
And began hesitantly opening my mouth.
Waiting for that vocal to come through.
♠ ♠ ♠
Hello, are you well?