Loving You From The Past

"You know, that one time I was hospitalized and Frank was telling you about my dad?"

You nod.

"And I woke up and you never knew what my father did to me."

"What happened, Polly?"

"My father raped me."

Those words doesn't seem like me.
I only used that sentence once to Frank.
I never imagined using it again to you.

Complete silence.
You knew at once why I ran.
You knew at once why I'm scared.
You knew at once why I'm so fucked up.
You know me now.

I'm transparent to you.
Naked to your eyes.
I feel like regretting saying this to you.
But I don't.

I feel calm.
I feel reassured.
I feel like this complete weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Your hands squeeze mine stronger.
And you stand up to hug me.

"Polly?"

"I'm sorry for everything I did to you. I didn't mean it. I love you, Gerard."

"I know. I have a question to ask you."

"Mmm?"

"Will you marry me?"

And suddenly, my eyes seem to have changed.
Because I saw a glow surrounding you.
And I knew at once, I was safe.
With you by my side.
I am safe and I will be safe.

And I'm crying.
And its happy tears for once.
And I'm smiling.
And its happy smiling for once.
And I'm laughing.
And it’s a new sound for once.
And I'm uttering yes.
And it's not the same way I said yes to Sam.

It's something different.
It's something new.
It's something pure.

And I hug you.
And I don't care that I'm hurting.
And I kiss you.
And I don't care that I'm burning.
And I clench you.
And I don't care that I'm weak.

"I love you, Gerard."

A new light for a new life.
I'm happy.
Because of you.
Thank you.
So much.