Loving You From The Past

I don't know what to feel.
Completely numb from
the tip of my fingers to
the the edge of my toes.

I lost him.
After being so close.
I lost him.

It's been almost two months.
Since I saw Gerard's face.
It's been almost one month.
Being married to Sam.

I tried to forget him.
But I can't.

Because everywhere I look,
I see Gerard's face.

On the toaster.
In the mirror.
Behind Sam's face.

I love Sam.
I really do.
But I can't help think...

Is Sam the one for me?
Because I don't feel physically drained.
When I'm around Sam like I was
around Gerard.

I don't feel my heart stop beating.
I don't get the tingles when Sam touch me.
I don't wake up at three in the morning
just to wake up Sam to see the stars.
I don't feel the same as I did with Gerard.

I question myself everyday.
If I'm doing the right thing?
By staying with him.

I know Sam loves me more than anyone.
I know it'll hurt Sam if I left him.
I know how it feels to be hurt.
And I never want Sam feeling the same way
as I did when Gerard left me.

But how am I suppose to function normally?
When all I can think about is my teenage summer love?