When Fate Tries to Screw You Over

"Do you feel like a man when you push her around, do you feel better now as she falls to the ground-" I wake up to Face Down by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Lucas mumbling 'shut up' into my chest. As the mobile phone ring tone continues, he stirs and groans, his head not leaving it's place on my chest.

"SHUT UP!" He croaks loudly, smacking me in the stomach.

"Oof!" I begin to laugh when my reaction to his punch wakes him up finally with a look of horror on his bruised face.

"I am so sorry" He croaks, rubbing the place he hit. I grip his wrist, stopping him.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." I warn, making him blush brightly. "Are you going to turn that thing off?" I ask, he pulls his wrist out of my grasp and leans over me to get his jeans that had his phone in it's pocket, letting me have a full view of his ass. He turns the alarm off, sitting back and crossing his legs.

"I need to get ready for school." He mumbles, not looking up at me. I knew this was going to be awkward, I shouldn't be so surprised...

"Okay, go have a shower or whatever and you can borrow one of my shirts for today." I offer, sitting up myself.

"What year are you in? 12?" I ask curiously.

"11" He corrects. I silently groan to myself. Great, I have a liking towards someone in year 11. He is just a kid... but he was different to the others. There was something about him that seemed older, more mature than others.

"I'll drive you to school when your ready." I say quietly, leaving the room.

"Good morning sunshine!" Brandon sings cheerfully when I enter the kitchen to find him cooking eggs, sausages, bacon and toast. "I was just about to bribe you guys out of bed."

"I swear Bran, sometimes I worry about you. You act gayer than me and you've got a girlfriend!" I answer him jokingly.

"Ouch, that hurt Matty." He says sarcastically. "Where's Lucas?"

"Having a shower, he has school." I answer shortly, feeling kinda down with the situation I might have put myself in last night.

"What's up?" Brandon asks, placing two eggs, a sausage, some bacon and a piece of toast on a plate and handing it to me. I mumble a thanks.

"Nothing is wrong" I snap.

"Yeah, and I have a vagina." I raise my eyebrow at this. He smirks innocently. "Come on, what's wrong? Rough night?" He winks at me jokingly. I duck my head blushing.

"Oh my god! I was just joking! I didn't actually think you- him- what?!" He stammers loudly.

"Shut up! Nothing really happened." I say quietly, wishing he would drop it. No such luck.

"Nothing really happened?"

"We just kissed..." I mumble, blushing.

"What kind of kissing? Was it just a peck on the lips or was it, like full blast of making out, touchy feely stuff?!" He asks, shocked. My face turns red making him gasp girlishly.

"You whore!" He screams.

"Brandon! I think we need to talk about you and your sexual ways!" I exclaim, rolling my eyes.

"Ha ha! Nah, but really man! He is like 3 years younger than you, doesn't that bother you?"

"4 years..." I correct, embarrassed. "And it isn't that bad! Besides, i can't control how I feel about him, I would if I could." I snap, chewing on some bacon.

"So you really DO like him?"

"Yes." I hiss.

"But, but you only met him a few days ago!" Brandon was totally puzzled.

"I know! Can we just drop this please?" I beg, pleading him with my eyes. He rolls his eyes and sighs.

"Drop what?" Lucas comes in wearing his jeans from yesterday and my black polo shirt that looked way too big for him.

"N-nothing." I say quickly. " I like the shirt, wherever did you get it from?" I change the subject quickly. He smiles faintly.

"Is this one ok to wear?" He asks shyly.

"Of course" I wave it off. "Come, sit down, have breakfast and we'll drive you to school."

"I-I'm not hungry" He states, as if trying to convince himself of it too. This puzzles me but I just shrug it off for now and stand up after finishing my food.

"Ok, hold on and I'll just get changed" He nods cautiously. As I leave the room, I turn to give Brandon a warning look. He smiles innocently back.
"How old are you mate?" I hear Brandon ask casually.

"17"

"Wow, you're a youngin` still! Although, you and Matt are both young to me so I-" I listened to the conversation until I couldn't hear their voices any longer.

I grab a Panic! At The Disco, red shirt and my knee length black shorts,put some deodorant on, brushed my hair and teeth and grabbed my keys and wallet before heading back into the kitchen to get Lucas.

"Ready to go?" Lucas looks up at me and nods. We head out together and get into the car. The whole car drive was silent and not in a silent but comfortable way.

10 minutes later we pull up in front of Western High School.

"Here you go." I say, parking parallel to the school.

"Thanks... Hey, Matt?"

"Yeah?"
"W-what happened last night? I mean, what does this mean? I mean, we only just met and -"

"It's ok, we can just be friends" I cut him off, thinking that's what he wanted.

"Oh- okay. Right, see you later..." He stammers out quietly, getting out of the car.

"Seeya Lucas." I whisper sadly after he closes the door after him. I drive off quickly, wanting to get away.

*************

=LUCAS` POV=

This is so confusing. One day he likes me, the next day he acts like this. Just friends? God I hate those words. I don't know why I'm so attracted to this older guy, but I am and it scares me. Last night, when we kissed, how he touched me, held me like that. It made me want him even more. But he was like a stranger to me! This can't be right.

I slowly make my way into the school grounds, dreading the day already. Threats have become a daily routine and, more times than not, Reese Wilson and his gang would chuck in a shove or punch to add emphasis on how much he truely hates me because of being different. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the only gay guy in the bloody school, far from it but all the others have bigger, scarier looking friends that stick up for them, so Reese and his group leaves them alone, but me? I have no one. Not a single person brave enough to be friends with Lucas Adams, the gay loner.

"Holy moly! What happened to you son?" Mr Zane, my PE teacher stopped in front of me when he saw my black eyes and split lip.

"Long story sir" I mumble, trying to move away but he grabbed my arm, stopping me.

"I've got time." He states worriedly. My mind works into a frenzy to come up with a good excuse, knowing the truth would cause more trouble then it's worth.

"I went snowboarding this weekend with my Dad. I'm not very good at it yet obviously. I went straight into a tree. Stupid, I know." I lie convincingly, Mr Zane chuckles, letting my arm go finally.

"Practice makes perfect Lucas. I'll see you in class." With that, he walks off. I get out a cigarette and light it up once I was to the side of the school. The teachers didn't care if you smoked once you were in years 11 and 12, just not out the front, in case outsiders saw how shitty this school really was.

"Hey fag!" I cringe when Reese's voice disrupts my peace. I take an extra long drag.

"I said, hey fag! Look at me when I'm talkin` to you." Resse comes up into my face, ripping the cigarette out from between my lips and stomping it out. I groan inwardly in annoyance.

"Nice face you got there Lukey boy" He taunts, referring to the damage he did yesterday but I deliberately take it differently, knowing it wasn't a smart thing to do, but I did it anyway.

"Honey, I may be gay but that doesn't mean I go for dogs like you, so stop flirting." This pisses him off and he shoves me roughly against the brick wall, my head colliding with it really hard. I try not to let the pain show.

"You better watch what you say, my friend, or it wont just be a busted lip and black eye that you'll own." He threatens, shoving me again before walking off with the 4 boys following.

Once they were out of sight, I slide down the wall until I was sitting, knees tucked under my chin. I sigh hopelessly. I couldn't do this anymore. Why do I? I know I'm not perfect but I'm trying to be, will they accept me when I am?

I touch the back of my head gently, wincing. I was bleeding. If my hair wasn't blonde, I wouldn't have had a problem with it as much but you could plainly see the blood against the light hair.

"Get to class Lucas!" Mrs Ottie warns as she walks past quickly.

"Sorry miss" I say quietly, head down. I quickly wipe the tears that had escaped from my cheeks and got up.

"Late for class again Mr Adams!" Mr Boag shouted. It seemed this man was either screaming or whispering, nothing in between which made his maths classes harder.

"Sorry sir. Won’t happen again." I reply quickly, heading to my usual desk right at the back of the room.

15 minutes into the lesson everyone was working quietly around me, but I couldn't concentrate. The bump in the back of my head has given me a splitting migrane.

"Mr Adams, outside now please!!" Mr Boag screamed, making me wince. I get up and follow him out into the corridor.

"Now, are you going to tell me why you've been late by at least 10 minutes to my classes so continously Lucas?!" He yells. I lean against the wall as a wave of dizziness corrupts my mind. I clutch my head, grimacing.

"Please - sir, stop yelling" I beg quietly.

"I'm NOT yelling! Now, answer my question!!" He continues on loudly.

"I think I'm going to be sick" I moan, the pain and dizziness overwhelming.

"I beg your pardon?!" Mr boag exclaims, alarmed.

With that, I double over as the pain throbs and I vomit, nothing in my stomach to come up but stomach acid.

"Christ! What's wrong with you boy!" Mr boag exclaims loudly, gripping my shoulder.

"My head..." I groan, sitting down on the carpet.

"What's wrong with your head? Lucas, what's wrong?" I dry wretch again, bending over.

"My god! You're bleeding! Just... lay down Lucas, I'll go get someone." I do as I'm told, laying down curled into a ball, trying to get rid of the pain.

"Lucas? Honey? We've called an ambulance and your mother, they will be here soon. Just hang in there sweetie." The kind voice makes my head throb even more.

"Please...stop yelling" I moan, clutching my hair almost painfully.

"I'm not yelling honey"

"Yes you are! Please stop!" I yell myself, trying to get all the harsh sounds to stop. Every movement and sound around me is amplified like having a hangover only 5 times worse. The murmuring of students made me groan, squeezing my eyes tighter shut.

"Everyone back inside. Come on, inside!" Mr Boag yells, my reaction being that I uncurled from my ball, got on my hands and knee's and dry wretched again, leaving me breathless. I tried to crawl away from the sounds but someone grabs me around my waist gently, picking me up easily.

"No... just leave me alone" I groan as the paramedics place me on the stretcher they had brought with them.

"It's alright now Lucas. Just relax." The man murmurs. I gag again, then curl myself back into a ball.

"We need you to lay straight now mate." I shake my head absentmindedly.

"Come on son. We're here to make you feel better." The paramedic urged, pulling me out of my position and strapping me down.

"No one can make me feel better." I murmur, not talking about my head.

"We can make your head pain go away, do you want that?" One asks. I don't answer her. Closing my blackened eyes, I let darkness take me.

**************

When I wake I find myself in a white room with a constant, irritating beeping. A drip was in my arm, connected to a bag of clear liquid.

The pain in my head had subsided but I felt groggy and unwell.

"It's okay to wake up now sweetie. Nothing's going to hurt you. You're safe now." I only then realise my mother had my other hand and she was murmuring into my side.

"Mum..." I croak, her head shooting up, back to reality.

"Oh honey, are you ok? How do you feel? What happened? I was so worried." She rambles on, embracing me. I hug her back, trying to comfort her.

"I'm ok Mum, really." I try to reassure.

"No you're not! Look at you! What happened? Please tell me the truth." She begs, saddness shining in her eyes.

"I-I er bumped my head on some stairs. I slipped." I lie.

"What about the other stuff? The split lip? The black eyes? The bruises on your stomach? What about those?" She enquires.

"I was in a fight yesterday night. They said some bad stuff about my friend." I say, twisting the truth greatly.

"Who's they?"

"No one you know Mum, can we drop it?" I ask, sighing.

"But..."

"Please?"

"Alright, hold on, I'll just get the docter." Mum walks out and brings back a greying lady in a white coat.

"Hello Lucas, how are you feeling?"

"Like I'm going to throw up. But my head feels a lot better." I state.

"You're probably feeling a bit sick from the antibiotics we gave you. You managed to crack your skull so we had to stitch you up and check it out aswell. It seems fine and will heal in time. What you experienced at your school was a sign not only of pyhsical exhaustion but pyhschological exhaustion aswell, not just the pain in your head. Do you know what I'm talking about?" She asks, as if she knew already but wanted to give me a chance to say it. I shake my head, avoiding eye contact.

"Lucas, honey, do you know how much you weigh?" The doctor asks seriously.

44.3kg. I answer in my head immediately.

"No, why?" I ask.

"You weigh just a bit over 44kg and for someone your age and height, that is about 15 kg under what is considered healthy. When was the last time you ate Lucas?" She asks, jotting things down on her clipboard.

I can't remember...

"This morning fo breakfast. I had eggs and bacon." I answer, getting good at this whole lying thing.

"Can someone back that up?" She asks, staring at me. When I remain silent she continues. "We think you may have the disorder called Anorexia. Do you know what that is?" She was talking to be like a 5 year old and it was starting to piss me off.

"Of course I know what Anorexia is and I don't have it!" I snap,"I don't know why I weigh so little, I guess I have a really fast metabolism."

"Honey, if you have been starving yourself we need to know" Mum intervenes with a scared look in her eye.

"I am NOT anoreixc! Just leave me alone!" I yell angrily, glaring at the doctor.

"Alright, then you'll be ok eating this chocolate bar then?" She pulls out a king sized mars bar from her pocket and handing it to me. I freeze. Chocolate! That's the worst food of all to eat! I inwardly grimace before taking it and eating it quickly, feeling sick and disgusting with every bite, but I don't let it show.

"There! You happy? Can I go now?" I ask angrily after swallowing the last piece with difficulty.

"Alright... let's get the drip out and you may go" She sighs, defeated. She pulls it out gently, hands my mum a prescription for some pain killers and we left after I got dressed again.

Once at home, I immediately retreat to my bedroom, lock the door and walk into my ensuite bathroom and stick my fingers down my throat, making myself vomit back up to chocolate bar into the toilet.

I wipe my mouth after brushing my teeth, then call up work to call in sick as all I wanted to do was sleep. Fatigue pulled at my bones and my head throbbed.

I take two pain killers, washing them down with water, then get into bed and fall asleep almost instantly...