Forgotten Memories

She opened her eyes and to her surprise it wasn't all white. It was the pretty blue her mom and painted their bathroom only a week ago. She turned over, there she saw Andy the love of her life staring at her hoping she was okay.

"Roxy...what happened? What did you do?" Andy spoke softly. He was rubbing her head and holding her hand. "I thought maybe I lost you"

She sat up, and looked at him blankly, then remembering what Ally had told her about cutting deep. She lifted her arm up to both of their level of sight. She turned it over again and again. She saw nothing, there wasn't a single new cut on it.

"I..." she spoke so quietly it was hard to hear her, "don't know what I did. The last thing I remember is talking to....I mean is falling onto the tub." She then realize. . . she wasn't wearing anything, she was in the tub where she had fell. "How did you find me here? How did you get in the house?"

"Your window was unlocked and when you weren't waiting for me, and you weren't right there I wondered if something was wrong. So I climbed in and then heard the shower going and sat outside of the bathroom for a while." Andy looked at her like he was confused. She was just as confused as he was. "When you weren't done I came in and saw that you were lieing on the ground. I didn't know what had happened."

"Wow, I...I don't know what happened. I don't remember anything. Wow..well do you still wanna hang out? You still have stuff to tell me." She looked at him, she knew he wasn't going to let this go. But she hadn't taken anything and she hadn't cut. She didn't know what she did.

"Roxy I wanna know why you past out in here, like that. Then I'll tell you." He looked at her pleadingly. LIke she had to tell him. She didn't know though..it wasn't her fault she just...couldn't remember.

"Andy I don't know. I have no clue what I did...."

What you didn't do. It was what you didn't do.

What?

"Roxy...babe your trailing" he said worried. LIke something was really wrong with her.

"What I didn't do. It was what I didn't do" it was like she was in a trance. "God Andy I'm so sorry."

"Roxy I don't get it, its what you didn't do, what do you mean? Why are you sorry? Roxy please I'm scared What do you mean?" He started rambling he didn't know what she meant and Roxy could tell he was scared.

He doesn't know remember, You haven't told him. I wouldn't let you
Why wouldn't you let me I have to tell him.
Don't tell him. Don't do it. Everything will get worse I promise you that don't tell him Roxy.
Damn it Ally shut up. I have to tell him.

"Andy I haven't ate..in four days. I can't eat. I feel to..." She started to stop talking, she saw this look in his eyes like...O god Roxy what are you going to tell me. She loved him and didn't want to hurt him.

"You feel too...what Roxy?" He looked as though he was going to start crying right then and there.

Weakly she lifted her head to look straight in his eyes, "...fat..." She couldn't believe she told him. She hadn't told anyone that she hardly ate, and that when she did she would throw up. Instantly she felt better.

"Roxy, are you..Anorexic?" He didn't know what else to say to her, he was stunned.

"Actually no...Andy..I'm..." She started her sentence.

"O god I'm so glad your not I was really scared there. That is not a good thing to be...so then.."

"ANDY...could you let me finish. I'm not anorexic..I'm bulimic." She put her head down, she felt so...worthless. She was right she didn't deserve him. She wasn't good enough.

"O..Roxy, I'm sorry. Its alright though I still love you okay? No matter what. I promise." He lifted her chin and kissed her. He stood up to pick her up. He then realized she was still wearing nothing. He blushed a little.

She giggled, "Its okay Andy. Can you hand me my clothes, right over there?" She pointed and almost fell over, she wasn't paying attention.

"Uh..here you go." he said shyly.

She smiled "Jeeze Andy you a little nervous? Wasn't like you weren't ever going to see this." she gave him a mischeivious smile.

He laughed "Yeah...yeah....yeah I see how it is Roxy. So are we really going to go talk?"

"If you still want to..Is it cold outside?" she said shivering. It was cold in here of course it was cold outside.

Andy walked towards Roxy and put his arms around her, "Well its cold in here so what do you think?" He looked down at her.

"I was just thinking the same thing." He was taller than her, not that she hadn't ever realized that. It was just that, today he seemed so much taller, so much stronger. He felt so warm on her cold, clothless body. She felt so safe in his arms, like nothing could hurt her ever. She just wanted to melt in his arms.

"Well then what do you want to do?" He didn't want to let go. He wanted to keep holding her forever. He knew he was going to have to tell her what was wrong earlier. But he did'nt want that to happen.

"Lets go lay down," She was suddenly tired, "Then you can tell me what was wrong earlier." She looked up at him and noticed that he had the look like he didn't want too. "Please Andy I need to know I've been waiting all day, you promised." She tugged on his shirt.

"Okay.." he said removing her hand from the shirt. "Lets go lay down."

Almost right after he said that she fell into his arms. He picked her up and carried her to her room and layed down next to her. She looked at him and right then he knew that she wasn't going anywhere. That he had to tell her. But what would happen if he did. What would she say.

"Andy are you going to tell me or not?" She looked at himand blinked. "Please Andy."
"Roxy?"

"Yeah Andy? What is it?" She was curious now. She knew something was really wrong. That nothing was ever going to be the same.

"I love you, don't ever forget that okay?"

"Andy your scaring me now would you just tell me what was wrong?" She scooted closer to him. She felt the warmth from his body.

"Roxy....My mom wants us to move. She says I'm not happy and that we need to move get away from all the th ings makeing me sad. And...I overdosed today. Thats why I was so outta it before" he looked at her. Please don't be mad he thought. Please let everything be the same.