Catnap!

The universe consists of many different dimensions; with lots of different worlds inside them they think that their dimension is the universe, each dimension oblivious to the existence of any other. They float randomly through space crashing into other dimensions and sometimes moulding together, this is a very uncomfortable experience for the species inside the two dimensions as they are all completely wiped out and everything starts again. But the world this story is concerned with is in a dimension millions of light years away from anything, it’s like the outcast of dimensions, alone on the edge of a small galaxy near the edge of everything. In this world the term ‘the corners of the world’ is allot more relevant. It’s normally the four corners of the world but this world has changed it so it’s more accurate.
It was actually a cube shape; four of its sides were filled with the usual mixture of water and land, with the occasional half and half of course. But the bottom of the cube is a vast desert; obviously water couldn’t go on that side because it would fall off. The top of the cube was full of water because it congregated there and made a beautiful rainbow when it flowed off the edge. There was only one piece of dry land on the whole of that side; it was about three metres across and five up. And shaped like a door. The top and bottom of the cube were called wassililing, which was the top and basically meant ‘covered in water’ and destyung, which was the bottom and meant ‘dry’ the others weren’t named because the cube spun and there was always debate over which was which. People just knew which direction to head in to get to different countries, well mostly they didn’t but if they kept sailing for long enough they would hit land and pretend they knew what they were doing all along. Often peace treaties didn’t have names on them; the rulers did not want to look stupid so they jus sent out a treaty with a space for the name so the ambassador can quickly scribble it in when no one is looking. Once a ship from Ardler was sent to an equally powerful country, but instead landed on a small island whose community consisted of one hundred nomads worshipping a giant squirrel. The ruler was not amused when he found out and couldn’t show his face at the next rulers gathering.
The astrologists of the cube were very proud of their worlds shape and laugh at the three other planets in the dimension, which were all spherical, they didn’t have any inter planet relations, well not good ones especially since they didn’t know anyone lived on the other planets. This was wrong as in the distant past the cubes astrologists sent people to inhabit the other planets. This technique was instantly forgotten and all life was sent back to the beginning because the passing spaceship woke up the gods after a particularly wild party.
The cube had to have two suns so that every side of the cube got a turn of daylight this results in each side having day at different times. Except for the one farthest away from the front, the people there long ago decided they liked nighttime better and bribed some gods to keep the sun away. They both started at the destyung, one went left and the other went up and around so the first was illuminating three sides over the course of the day and the other was illuminating two and then joining with the first. So some side got extra sunlight and an amazing sunset. Naturally instead of jus enjoying this phenomenon they sold it as a tourist attraction.

The suns rose on the cube spreading slowly over its sides. The more poetic of the inhabitants said it was like gold flowing over everything and illuminating it with its life. Others said it was yellow, and still others didn’t care what colour it was it was waking them up and hurting their eyes coming through the crack in the curtains. These were generally the hard working or the alcoholics.

Relish, the second unluckiest man in the world, was awoken by a rather large, brownish cat jumping onto his groin. His neighbours were awoken by a high-pitched scream.
“Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrggghhhh! Damn cat get off meeee!” when Relish managed to make the cat retract its claws he climbed out of bed and tripped over an old bedroom slipper. He picked himself up muttering and made his way to the kitchen, pulled out some fish and a bit of cream and gave them to the cat.
“There you go you little bugger”
Why thank you
“Don’ mentions it” Relish muttered. He froze and then turned slowly around; the cat was sat with cream all over its mouth.
“You’ve got a little bit of cream...” Relish said softly, waving a hand in front of his face.
Oh damn I hate when that happens, it’s embarrassing and very hard to get off said the cat, trying to clean his face with his paws.
“Here let me...” Relish began but the cat turned away
No, no I can get it myself.
It was then that Relish’s brain caught up with what was happening.
“Tibbles...?”
Don’t call me that! He hissed, out of all the names in all the universes you had to pick the most degrading name you could think of!
“Um. So what should I call you then tib-”
I don’t know he snapped anything but...that! For a cat he managed an amazing amount of contempt into his voice. Relish was feeling a bit faint and turned to get a drink of water from the pitcher beside the door. Tibbles gave a loud ‘Harrumph’ and Relish started, falling over a fish bone and landed in the pitcher. He sighed and picked himself up. And slipped on the water. Tibbles was making a rather funny noise, which after some thought Relish realised was laughter! A cat! Laughing! At him! Relish laughed at the absurdity of it all.
Relish lived in a small and grubby flat on the outskirts of Trele, one of the biggest cities on the cube, and defiantly the most dangerous. Relish had only survived so long because he was a very fast runner and a coward, any attempts at bravery would inevitably go wrong and the only way he would get away was if the criminal was laughing so hard at him, but then Relish would only make it out of that and then fall and break his neck.
Any invaders to Trele woke up one morning with half of their equipment gone and all of their valuables, after a couple of centuries invaders stopped bothering. Who would want it any way? It was like an enormous rat pit, a sprawling mess with no order at all. Even the city watch had long since disbanded after the time they all somehow woke up locked in their own cells with no recollection of the night before, and for some reason, without their pants.
“Come on then tib- … er… puss? Lets go get some groceries.”
Ok… how bout Trevor? That’s a good name…

Wary practically skipped along the crowded street, she was swinging a large hamper filled with the days shopping and had the sort of bemused smile on her face of someone faraway in their thoughts. Her feet were resigned to carrying her home whenever this happened while the rest of the body were in a different and happier place.
The man following slipped through the shadows. That hamper looked very full. He ran ahead. The dark alleys of Trele were the most dangerous in the world; (almost everyone in the city had been mugged or assaulted at some point in their lives, these were only the people who hadn’t done anything, the citizens were mean but not cruel, you have to have done something to be killed. they had grew up thinking it was the normal routine. The city didn’t have many tourists.) But this neighbourhood was particularly rough and the man was surprised to see this girl skipping along here. Nevertheless he still stepped out in front of her brandishing a rusty knife and a crooked smile.
“Hello” she said brightly “ My names Wary”
“ Erm… hi”
“Would you like something?”
This wasn’t the way the man normally started his muggings but it would do.
“Yes give me your hamper, or I’ll cut your throat”
“But my Daddy sent me out to get it” her smile never wavered. “And why would you do an awful thing like cut my throat? That’s not very nice.” The man almost laughed at this girl’s naivety, he advanced. His hand closed around the hamper. There was a flurry of movement and the man was lying on the floor holding a suddenly very sore part of his body. Wary pulled a small badge out of the recesses of her basket.
“Your under arrest”

Relish sighed, for the umpteenth time since that morning. Tibbles was an amazing creature, but he was annoying the hell out of Relish.
“Look Tib-, trev-, hyr- whats your name now?”
Sirn
“Look Sirn stop complaining, first you complain you’re hungry, so I get you some fish, then your tired so I’m now carrying you!”
But you’ve got bony arms
Relish sighed again and shifted the cat’s position.
“Better?”
No
They wandered along the alleys towards the house; right now they were in the perfume sector. It was, of course, where all the perfume in the city is sold, and anyone walking through found their eyes streaming and had difficulty breathing until they left. Centuries of perfume had mingled together to make a strong, suffocating musky scent. It also created a slight pink mist, which on hot days became a full fog. Many a visitor to the city had found it too much and didn’t make it out.
Are we almost there? The cat had a strange grin on its face. Relish had a feeling it was toying with him. Relish sighed once more.
“No Tibbles we aren’t” Tibbles eyes narrowed, he jumped down and walked slightly in front of Relish his head and tail held high, in a sort of haughty manner. He appeared to be muttering under his breath. Relish shook his head and chuckled. He then tripped over a discarded bottle of perfume –
- And landed at the feet of a man. This man was wearing long billowing robes that completely covered his feet; they were a golden colour and had blood red scrollwork running along its hem and up to his chest. This grandeur was spoiled slightly by a bag bulging with books slung over his shoulder and a grubby old belt with a non-impressive copper buckle.
“ I say are you alright?” he said in a deep, melodious voice. It was the type of voice that could influence people and made them like putty in his hands. The man coughed and cleared his throat.
“ That’s better” this came out as a high-pitched croak “ are you ok?” he said holding out a hand. Relish took it and pulled himself up.
“Yes I’m ok thank you”
“Good I wouldn’t want to hurt you now would I?”
“…No?”
“That’s right” now Relish was eye level with him he noticed he had a slightly glazed look, as if his mind wasn’t there and his brain was running on autopilot.
“You’re my friend!!” the man shouted suddenly, Relish started.
“Ok then I think we better get you home then” the man laughed and ran back down the street.
Relish hurried to catch up with Tibbles.
“Tibbles? Tibbles!” he said, starting to panic.
“Tibbles?”
Relish looked down a street and saw Tibbles strutting haughtily past an alley. Breathing a sigh of relief Relish hurried to catch up, as Tibbles passed a particularly dark part of the alley a sack flew out. In on fluent movement Tibbles was engulfed and dragged back into the shadows.
Relish sprinted the rest of the distance to the alley and peered down cautiously. And in a tinny voice said “Tibbles?”

What a strange man, he thought, he wanted to take me home! Where am I? The man wandered through the city, not paying any attention to the world around him apart from the things he crashed into. He knew he was a student, and a good one too, he was just a slight bit insane. The man found the University as the sun began to set.
“And this time don’t drive away” he said to the driver at the front gates, his good friend, Harry. He rolled his eyes.
“Ok then Bren, I’m sorry. So where have you been today?”
“Just out and about, Harry”
Bren hurried up to his room and began to revise from a thick book. Even though he didn’t do that subject. But you just don’t know when knowing 637 different types of beetles could come in handy.
That man had a cat, Bren thought, he pulled another book out of his bag.

Wary walked into the watch office, pushing the criminal in front of her and putting him in the cell. She took off her helmet and picked up the criminals file. She had been out patrolling the streets for the watch with her partner. She sighed and hung her helmet up on the peg behind her desk. There wasn’t much work going these days, on average Wary made one arrest a month, and she was the top employee. The office was small and shabby, the wallpaper peeling and the only light came in through the open windows on either side of the room. In the room there were three desks, one for Wary, one for her partner, Roob and one for the commander. Only the commander was in, and he was sat doodling on a piece of paper.
“Hullo sir” Wary said glumly “Anythin'?”
“No, captain” he said, trying to make his picture of a rabbit look like official work. “Where’s Roob?”
“He went home, sir”
“Oh”
The Commander was a mysterious fellow, and rather eccentric, nobody knew his name, he was just called The Commander and he lived in the office, he had no family and nowhere to live, despite a rather handsome salary. So he lived in an even smaller room above the office, along with the single watchdog. It was supposed to be a vicious killer, but there had been cutbacks and all they had was a small mongrel, called Ben, that whimpered if someone talked to loudly.
Suddenly a man fell into the office, startling The Commander, who spilt ink all over his drawing, Wary, who jumped and dropped her file, and Ben, who started to cry and hid in the corner.
The man stumbled back to his feet, his face was red and he was panting. He was tall but that gave him a clumsy air and he moved jerkily, like a puppet on a string. He had a rather long nose and deep brown eyes. His lank, pale brown hair covered his eyes and he had to keep pushing it out of the way.
Wary stepped forward smoothly.
“This is the Watch, how can we help you?”
“Someone has stolen my cat!”
The Commander jumped out of his seat,
“What? That’s terrible I’ll get right on it!” he shouted and ran upstairs. Wary sighed, why did she always get these kinds of things? Nobody came to the Watch with murders or burglary anymore, something important. Instead she got these small cases like catnapping. Sometimes she pretended the cat was something valuable, to make things more interesting. But she got into the Watch to help the public, and this man was the public.
“My name is Wary.” She said “Officer Wary” Wary added, to be professional
“I’m Relish” he said sheepishly, he looked at her, waiting for the laugh.
“OK did you manage to get a look at this… catnap per?”
“No, he was in a alley.”
“Can you tell me the events prior to the afore mentioned catnap?” Relish gave Wary a blank look. She sighed
“What happened before your cat was stolen?”
“Oh” Relish told her.
“It can talk?” Wary asked sceptically, wondering if this was some sort of practical joke,
“Yes! I don’t know how I just woke up this morning and there he was!”
“And he’s called Tibbles?”
“Yes”
Wary shook her head. That had to be the worst name she had ever heard for a cat ever. It was what cats were called in children’s’ books. But even that had stopped because the children thought the name was stupid, the children in Trele were very particular about these things. Little bunnies in fairy tales had to have reasonable names now, according to Wilson’s law, in the year of the rather large bird. Astrologists were running out of names for years.
Wary was ashamed to admit it but this case had got her interested, a talking cat being stolen could lead to another, bigger, darker plot.
“Come back here tomorrow and I’ll see if I can find some help for this.”
After Relish left Wary picked up her helmet and went back out into the streets, the sun was just beginning to set, so it was the start of the working night for the darker side of Trele. All the good, respectable folk were retiring to their homes. (Well they were more respectable than the ones leaving just getting up to begin their work.)

The university was a sprawling mass of buildings that jutted up to scratch at the threshold of heaven. The buildings were made of stone that had been worn down over thousands of years; they had huge arched windows high up in the stone. It was like a giant cathedral. An expert of any profession you could think of was a resident there; there was even a professional on professions. But considering there was this wonderful place filled with people that could help everyone, nobody went there for help. This was probably because all the students there were lazy, lethargic and most probably, overweight (unless they were a expert on staying thin, of course.) It was a tradition to become very overweight and still think you are thin, this was a problem as the students, thinking they were thin, thought they needed to eat more.
Wary wandered up the worn out marble steps, the setting sun creating a lazy red glow across the University grounds and making great shadows stretching far over the grass. Wary shook her head, what was she thinking? It was sunset! Every Student that could possibly help her would be sat in an enormous room eating more food than should be possible, for several minutes Wary stood indecisively. Eventually she decided it would be best to just charge in waving her badge and demand some help.
She wandered aimlessly through the halls of the University for a while, spluttering torches coming to life as the night came in. After a while Wary heard the quiet mutterings of thousands of people making polite small talk while waiting for the next course, by now they would be on to about course seven. She stormed up to the doors to the hall, they were huge, and it looked to her that several trees had died to make a doorstop. They stretched away into darkness above.
Wary was stood scratching her head for several minutes before she noticed a smaller, normal sized door away to her right.
Wary marched up to it