Home is Where the Dark is

I ground the butt of my cigarette into the pavement with the heel of my boot and ran a shaky hand through my long, red hair. I had been standing on Bam's doorstep for at least a half hour, psyching myself out as I sucked down Marlboro's.

Could you blame me? I hadn't stepped foot on West Chester soil in over four years. I had taken off without a word to anyone but my mother when I was 16 and now I was shuddering at the scolding I was sure to receive. This wasn't the first place I wanted to visit, definitely not the first people I intended to see - apparently I should have called first instead of going the surprise route. My 'rents were still on vacation and my father had changed the locks. Couldn't really say I was taken off guard with that one though.

Thanks dad.

I attempted to shake out my trembling hands and then knocked on the door. Trying to fix my appearance as best as I could, I pushed my sunglasses back over my untidy hair and pulled at my Alice in Chains t-shirt. No one answered the door but I was sure there were people home, hearing an unmistakable crash coming from the back of the house when I had first arrived. I knocked again to no avail so after a few more minutes of waiting I decided to let myself in.

I was hoping I had the right house as my heart tried to escape my chest. According to one of their disgruntled neighbors I happened upon in town, they had moved here recently. I peeked my head in the door and then stepped inside when I didn't see or hear anyone.

"Hello?" I called down one of the halls. That's when I heard footsteps and I suddenly wished I had decided to sleep in my car in my parent's driveway.

"Can I help you?" I recognized April Margera's voice before I saw her blond head peek around the corner. She gave a little 'o' of surprise when she saw me, came out of the doorway fully and put her hands over her mouth.

"Bailey?" Her breathless question almost brought tears to my eyes. I nodded shortly and before I could comprehend what was happening, she had her arms around me in a vice-grip.

"Oh it's so good to see you! Everyone misses you so much, it's been so long -" I tried not to laugh as she went on and on, both at her typical April-ness and the joy that she wasn't reprimanding me.

"- and oh! You have perfect timing, Jess is in town!" That sentence alone made my stomach churn. It was too much to expect this reaction from everyone. The boys were sure to be angry with me, especially Bam…

Maybe it wasn't too late for that sleeping in the car deal…

"Your parents are on vacation for a few more days. We have an extra room and you'll have to stay here, I won't take no for an answer."

I groaned inwardly.

"It's really fine, I've got a key to the house." I lied. I had gotten quite good at it but I felt awful doing it to April.

"There's no use fighting with her, Rusty. She ain't gonna give."

I could already picture Jess Margera's sarcastic smirk before turning around to face him. I probably would have run back out the front door had that smile not been inviting. April patted my hand softly before leaving the room and I decided to be brave. I approached Jess and sat next to him, giving him a contemptuous look.

"How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me Rusty?"

He put a finger to his chin as if really thinking about it. I tried to smack him but he grabbed my hand before I could do so.

"Come on, Rusty. Don't pretend to hate your nickname."

"I do hate it, you -"

I was cut off mid-sentence when he grabbed my lip ring, causing me to cry out in protest.

"What the hell is this? How did you get permission for that? You're like…17, aren't you?"

"Hey!" I pried myself loose and managed to slap his hands away. "Fuck off, I'm almost 21."

He gave me another of his prize-piece smirks and then put his arm around my neck.

"It's good to see you Rusty, it's been too long."

I was seriously starting to regret my unexpected return. I was glad that my reception was leaning towards the positive, but I had forgotten how much Jess loved to torture me.

And I had forgotten how much it made me want to kill him.

"Get off me you beast." I tried to pry his arm off of me but he only clenched it tighter before standing us both up, starting off the stairs and then around the corner.

"Let's go see the guys."

"That's really not necessary, I should probably be going -"

"Bailey, shut up. They're going to be happy to see you."

I doubted that statement very much but it was no use fighting the inevitable - it was probably better to get it over with (not that I had a choice, being dragged to my doom and all). I figured the moment Bam saw me he would kick me out. Upon my parents arrival, my father would throw me out accordingly and then I could be back to New Jersey by Saturday for Frank's gig.
But my view of how things would go was a severe opposite. I guess time hadn't changed me much (or maybe there just aren't that many red-heads in the world), because as soon as Jess dragged me onto the back porch I was overwhelmed with how I was instantly recognized and greeted.

I was hugged by a few too many people including Chris Raab and Brandon Dicamillo. I was smacked on the ass by someone I would later be introduced to as Tim Glomb, picked up and bear-hugged by Brandon Novak and then finally dipped and kissed by Ryan Dunn. I pushed him off of me and tried not to smile when I slapped him in the face. All Ryan did was put a hand to his red cheek and smile at me dreamily.

"I've wanted to do that since we were in high school."

"Really? Me too!"

His grin grew wider at my enthusiasm but then I waved my hand in the air.

"Slap you, I mean."

Ryan pouted.

"You did slap me in high school. A lot!"

"So I did." I patted him on the head before turning around and sitting on a chair. Jess smiled at me with an 'I told you so' triumph shortly before it completely left his face. Someone else had come onto the patio somewhere behind me and caused something I thought to be impossible - complete silence amongst the boys.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

Funny how no matter how hard I tried to forget his voice, it made my heart skip in perfect memory as soon as I heard it. Funny how no matter how hard I tried to forget his face, I could still picture it perfectly in my head. There was no doubt about who was behind me, fury and hurt apparent in his tone. My reunion up until now had given me too much hope, had made me forget why I was so afraid to come here ever again. It was stupid of me to think for even a second that he might forgive me...that he might have missed me. Even if just a little.

Bam was obviously not happy to see me.