A Lot Like Love

Macon looked at the clock; it was noon and she still sat underneath her crinkled sheets. She looked up at the brightly shinning sun, she sighed. Macon lazily pulled her legs out from under her tangle of creased blankets and brought them to her warm chest.

"It's been two weeks." Macon stated painfully out loud, only to break the god awful silence that had been lingering around her lately like a dark cloud in the sky. She couldn't remember when the last time someone, other than her mother, had actually spoken to her. "I have burned all the bridges around me." Macon reflected sourly to herself. Macon's father had post-pone the wedding, which Macon thought that would make her happy, but strangely that only made her more grim. Macon's thoughts lingered off as she stared bleakly at edge of her bed, she closed her eyes heartbrokenly with one flash thought of Nick. Macon had not even attempted to return a single one of Nick's phone call, she had to much pride too. Besides, there was nothing she could say that could make up for dashing out the door in a angry whirl wind almost before Nick could speak those words words.

"Nothing could make up for what I've done to him." Macon said in her own shame.

"Who are you talking too, creeper?" Came a deep voice from the door way. Macon whipped her head around to the out spoken trespasser.

"Nick!?" Macon exclaimed. "Is this really happening? Did I nod off?" Macon questions if what she was seeing was really there.

"Your mom let me in." He proclaimed, he was looking at Macon but it was indifferent from the normal way he looked at her. It was neither mad or happy, his eyes were trying to tell her something. Maybe a warning of what was to come, like a rain before a big storm. "Is he going to say goodbye?" Macon mind concluded for her. Macon's breathe became shallow and her head felt light. "I'm going to pass out." She thought, and quickly stood up.

"So what are you doing here?" Macon stumbled over her own question, breathlessly.

"Well since you refused to return any of my phone calls.." Nick drifted off, not needing to finish.

"I’m sorry." Macon meekly squeaked out, the room was spinning around so fast she was surprised that anything besides vomit came out of her mouth.

"Macon, I came by to tell you that I don't think we should hang out anymore." Nick declared with a blank look on his face now. Macon flopped back on her bed, she had no choice, if it hadn’t been there she would had fell. Her knee's buckled underneath her before she had a chance to catch her balance.

"The first time I saw that scowl on your face, I knew you would lead me on a chase. " Nick began with a distant look in his eyes. "But I didn't fully understand the chase I was in for. I have every part of you but the one part I want, I don't have your heart and I want all of you or nothing at all. And me being in love with you isn't how I choose to live, but it's obvious that me choosing between loving you and not loving you is no longer an option for me, I've fallen for you but I don't have to continue to let you knock me down. I can't keep fighting for you. You've made it perfectly clear that there is no place for me in your life, or in your heart for that matter, so I'm here to say that you win, I give up. But I hope you find whatever it is you are looking for out there but just know, no boy has ever or will ever try as hard as I did but you can't make someone love you. I've learned that the hard way."

Macon could feel the tears swell in her eyes, she looked up, hoping that maybe that would stop them from coming down her cheeks in streams.

"Nick, I-" Macon paused to try to swallow the lump knotted in her throat. "I don't know how I let it get to this point? I don't know how I've pretended to be so strong for so long. But right now if you waiting for me to agree, then you will be waiting all night."

Nick's face was completely stunned; he almost forgot how to breathe.

"There's no point in me running anyway from this anymore." Macon sighed. "If I could say what I want to say, I would tell you that your the only boy who can make my heart beat faster, or make my palms sweat with a smile. I'd want to say that you are always, always, on my mind and that all I want right now is for you to hold me. If I could be really honest with you, I'd tell you that being with you makes me feel whole, even when we are arguing, which lets face it, is the majority of the time. But I'd rather fight with you everyday, all day, then spend an hour with anyone else. If I could confess everything I wanted to, I'd say that I want to be with you every night, that the sound of you saying my name takes my breathe away, and above all I would want to say that I love you."

Macon whipped a tear from her cheek, the last tear that had fallen from her eyes. Macon listened for any type of response, but it was dead silence. "Was it to much at one time? Why isn't he saying anything?" Macon thought. Suddenly, Nicks feet began to slowly walk toward her. Her heartbeat grew faster by each step he took closer. Nick bent down eye level to her, just staring at her in this profound way. Macon felt like all time stopped as Nick gently caressed her face with his soft hands, he rubbed her cheek with his thumb before pulling her face to his and pecked her lips with a sweet, delicate, kiss.

"I love you too." Nick whispered, still holding Macon’s face close to his. Macon kissed him smoothly again before saying something she never thought she would never say.

"I love you more."