Sequel: She Will Love You Through Your Demise ›
She Will Love You Through All The Lies
Part One
She sat at their kitchen table that faced out the large, front bay window. She sat so she could look out the window at the passing cars and their driveway off to the side. She sighed as she thought about how pointless it truly was. She pulled her legs up onto the wide seat of the wooden kitchen chair. She crossed her legs underneath the table and replaced her hands on the coffee mug, warming them up once again. Outside it looked beautiful. It was the ending of summer and the very beginning of fall. Although the colours and leaves were still intact to the tree branches, it was rather quite chilly outside, even in the sun that was shining through the window.
She looked down at her hands that were clasped tightly around her cool, half empty coffee in her favourite white mug. She shook her head slightly at her lightly sugared coffee. "At least I know you will never lie to me," she mumbled. She rolled her eyes when she realized that she was talking to in fact, her morning beverage.
She, at the ripe age of 25 had never felt so alone. She never expected that she would feel like this so quickly into the early and quick marriage with her once adored love. She couldn't help but continue to love him, even though he was never there to fall deeper in love with. She couldn't help but feel remorse for herself, knowing that this marriage was indeed, unfair to her. She also couldn't help that she would love him through all of his lies, as much as she despised the very thought of it.
She placed the coffee mugs edge to her lips and tipped it back, draining her cold coffee into her mouth and swallowing it with a grimace. This is how it was every morning. She would wake up at the early hour of 9 o'clock and do all of her morning duties and then come downstairs and pour a glass of her already made coffee and turn off the timer. From there she would put her two sugars into her coffee and walk to the coffee table, while picking up the cordless phone on the way. She'd place her mug full of coffee on the table with the phone to the right of it and sit in the same chair. She'd follow the same movements and same thoughts, morning after morning while she waited for his call.
Of course, he never called in the morning like he should, like he used too. She had far too much faith in him though and never gave up hope that he would one day follow through with his once adored actions. From there, she'd carry the phone with her for the remaining of the day. Very seldom did she ever receive a phone call from him. Every night it would break her heart again and again, but she still went to sleep with his pillow grasped into her arms, pulled tightly to her.
Every morning when she woke up, she would remind herself that it's only one more day closer until he got home from somewhere around the world and would be in her grasp again, only for a few moments though. But it was those few moments that kept her holding on for so long in the end, and she was well aware of that. She convinced herself everyday that this was all in the favour of love and not to her and her thoughts of being alone, of being divorced and knowing, having to admit that love was not enough to pull them through the lies and distance.
It had been precisely two weeks since she had last heard from him and quite frankly, she was feeling lower then low. The distance between his few phone calls was getting farther and farther apart. Her thoughts were getting longer each morning, causing her to become afraid of what she might do one morning. She was terrified that one morning she wouldn't get up and have her coffee at the kitchen table, but get up and leave with all of her belongings. Although, that would take more time for her to think of where she could possibly go and by the time she ever would get to that stage, he would call and it would all be pointless in the end.
She rose with her coffee mug and walked to the kitchen sink and rinsed the remaining liquid from her mug and then placed it gently in the sink. She made her way through the bright and open kitchen to the living room and sat down on the white, spotless, empty couch. She stared at the television while she held the phone in her hand, like it was glued to her as a remote control seems to be glued to other individuals’ hands, except she rarely used it.
As usual, time dragged on for her and soon night fell. She rose from the couch and made her way to their bedroom that only seemed to smell of her entirely all of the time, except when he throws his duffle bag of dirty laundry in there before he makes his way to the shower. She closed the door lightly and made her way to their bed. She laid down and looked at the battery charge on the phone- it was full, tonight she would sleep with the phone beside her as if it were him.
She closed her eyes and as she thought she began to drift off, she heard a ringing sound echo. She opened her eyes and noticed it was the phone beside her that was making the rare noise. She smiled and grabbed the phone, pressing the 'Talk' button. "Hello," she whispered into the phone lightly, barley able to contain herself.
"Hey, it's me," his rough voice greeted her.
"How're you?" she asked, fully aware that he was most likely drunk and there was probably another woman there with him.
She heard him breathe in and then exhale, "good. I guess I'm tired, a little drained from tonight’s performance."
She frowned at that. She knew that he did put everything that he had into his performances night after night. He concentrated more on his music then he does her, but she's content.
"How're you?" he asked after a moment of silence. Indeed, he was always a gentleman to inquire how she was, home, alone.
"I'm hanging in there," she spoke in her soft tone. "I miss you," she whispered, tears threatening to fall from her eyes.
There was a pause, although she took note that is was shorter then it normally was. "I miss you too," he whispered in a voice that she hadn't heard in so long.
She let a tear escape and run down the side of her face. There were so many thoughts running through her mind, but she paid no attention to them. She only wanted to drown in his voice.
"You know I love you, right?" he spoke again. A breath caught in her throat and she choked. "Are you okay?" he asked, -obviously hearing her- in a concerned manner.
She smiled and blinked more tears out of her eyes, only to have them slide down her face again. "Yes Brian, I do." She laid there for a moment, did she? She shook her head and smiled, "and I love you too, very much."
She could tell he was smiling over the phone. "When I come home, we'll spend time together this time," he paused for a moment. "I really want things to change for us, for the better."
She nodded her head, "I like the sound of that."
She heard muffled voices in the background that sounded like Matt's. She knew that her time was up and braced herself for their departure.
"I have to go now," Brian whispered into the phone.
She nodded her head, "okay."
"I love you," he said for the second time that night, something all new to her.
"I love you too Brian," she smiled as she closed her eyes and pictured him in front of her.
"Bye," he whispered.
"Bye," she whispered back before waiting for him to hang-up the phone and then followed his actions.
She set the phone back on its charger, knowing that she wouldn't need to sleep with it now. She curled up in the blankets of their bed and hugged his pillow to her shaking body.
That was all that she needed for another long awaited period of time. She will love him through all the lies, all of his lies, until the time comes where she doubts his love, again.
She looked down at her hands that were clasped tightly around her cool, half empty coffee in her favourite white mug. She shook her head slightly at her lightly sugared coffee. "At least I know you will never lie to me," she mumbled. She rolled her eyes when she realized that she was talking to in fact, her morning beverage.
She, at the ripe age of 25 had never felt so alone. She never expected that she would feel like this so quickly into the early and quick marriage with her once adored love. She couldn't help but continue to love him, even though he was never there to fall deeper in love with. She couldn't help but feel remorse for herself, knowing that this marriage was indeed, unfair to her. She also couldn't help that she would love him through all of his lies, as much as she despised the very thought of it.
She placed the coffee mugs edge to her lips and tipped it back, draining her cold coffee into her mouth and swallowing it with a grimace. This is how it was every morning. She would wake up at the early hour of 9 o'clock and do all of her morning duties and then come downstairs and pour a glass of her already made coffee and turn off the timer. From there she would put her two sugars into her coffee and walk to the coffee table, while picking up the cordless phone on the way. She'd place her mug full of coffee on the table with the phone to the right of it and sit in the same chair. She'd follow the same movements and same thoughts, morning after morning while she waited for his call.
Of course, he never called in the morning like he should, like he used too. She had far too much faith in him though and never gave up hope that he would one day follow through with his once adored actions. From there, she'd carry the phone with her for the remaining of the day. Very seldom did she ever receive a phone call from him. Every night it would break her heart again and again, but she still went to sleep with his pillow grasped into her arms, pulled tightly to her.
Every morning when she woke up, she would remind herself that it's only one more day closer until he got home from somewhere around the world and would be in her grasp again, only for a few moments though. But it was those few moments that kept her holding on for so long in the end, and she was well aware of that. She convinced herself everyday that this was all in the favour of love and not to her and her thoughts of being alone, of being divorced and knowing, having to admit that love was not enough to pull them through the lies and distance.
It had been precisely two weeks since she had last heard from him and quite frankly, she was feeling lower then low. The distance between his few phone calls was getting farther and farther apart. Her thoughts were getting longer each morning, causing her to become afraid of what she might do one morning. She was terrified that one morning she wouldn't get up and have her coffee at the kitchen table, but get up and leave with all of her belongings. Although, that would take more time for her to think of where she could possibly go and by the time she ever would get to that stage, he would call and it would all be pointless in the end.
She rose with her coffee mug and walked to the kitchen sink and rinsed the remaining liquid from her mug and then placed it gently in the sink. She made her way through the bright and open kitchen to the living room and sat down on the white, spotless, empty couch. She stared at the television while she held the phone in her hand, like it was glued to her as a remote control seems to be glued to other individuals’ hands, except she rarely used it.
As usual, time dragged on for her and soon night fell. She rose from the couch and made her way to their bedroom that only seemed to smell of her entirely all of the time, except when he throws his duffle bag of dirty laundry in there before he makes his way to the shower. She closed the door lightly and made her way to their bed. She laid down and looked at the battery charge on the phone- it was full, tonight she would sleep with the phone beside her as if it were him.
She closed her eyes and as she thought she began to drift off, she heard a ringing sound echo. She opened her eyes and noticed it was the phone beside her that was making the rare noise. She smiled and grabbed the phone, pressing the 'Talk' button. "Hello," she whispered into the phone lightly, barley able to contain herself.
"Hey, it's me," his rough voice greeted her.
"How're you?" she asked, fully aware that he was most likely drunk and there was probably another woman there with him.
She heard him breathe in and then exhale, "good. I guess I'm tired, a little drained from tonight’s performance."
She frowned at that. She knew that he did put everything that he had into his performances night after night. He concentrated more on his music then he does her, but she's content.
"How're you?" he asked after a moment of silence. Indeed, he was always a gentleman to inquire how she was, home, alone.
"I'm hanging in there," she spoke in her soft tone. "I miss you," she whispered, tears threatening to fall from her eyes.
There was a pause, although she took note that is was shorter then it normally was. "I miss you too," he whispered in a voice that she hadn't heard in so long.
She let a tear escape and run down the side of her face. There were so many thoughts running through her mind, but she paid no attention to them. She only wanted to drown in his voice.
"You know I love you, right?" he spoke again. A breath caught in her throat and she choked. "Are you okay?" he asked, -obviously hearing her- in a concerned manner.
She smiled and blinked more tears out of her eyes, only to have them slide down her face again. "Yes Brian, I do." She laid there for a moment, did she? She shook her head and smiled, "and I love you too, very much."
She could tell he was smiling over the phone. "When I come home, we'll spend time together this time," he paused for a moment. "I really want things to change for us, for the better."
She nodded her head, "I like the sound of that."
She heard muffled voices in the background that sounded like Matt's. She knew that her time was up and braced herself for their departure.
"I have to go now," Brian whispered into the phone.
She nodded her head, "okay."
"I love you," he said for the second time that night, something all new to her.
"I love you too Brian," she smiled as she closed her eyes and pictured him in front of her.
"Bye," he whispered.
"Bye," she whispered back before waiting for him to hang-up the phone and then followed his actions.
She set the phone back on its charger, knowing that she wouldn't need to sleep with it now. She curled up in the blankets of their bed and hugged his pillow to her shaking body.
That was all that she needed for another long awaited period of time. She will love him through all the lies, all of his lies, until the time comes where she doubts his love, again.