I'm Building Castles To Protect You

She wondered, every lesson, why she chose the AS Maths course. Maybe since she knew it would be an easy pass for her logical brain. That and the vast confidence she had that the school wouldn't put an incompetent teacher in charge of the subject for two consecutive years. She was naturally mistaken, having to face the sour Mrs. Humpherson on a daily basis.

It would be a very long school year. Without Lauren beside her to be a necessary distraction or anybody to converse with on table tops. Something the plump woman would maliciously snide into the lesson when an opportunity was presented to her. When she passed text books out to the students, hers would be handed to her along with "Mr. Franceschi hasn't been in my lessons this term. Couldn't he take the level of intellect?"

Her snappy remarks always remained locked behind her lips, about how he'd achieved an A despite being educated by her. Tell her about how he was making something of his life rather than sitting in the stuffy classrooms. She didn't need to provide the teacher with another excuse to despise her.

Except today there was a scrawny substitute teacher sitting on the chair that was used to a heavier form. He handed out worksheets - something so foreign in Mrs. Humpherson's classes. Still preferring the no need for writing equipment method of teaching, she stood and gave lectures on logarithms and exponentials. The class that was small in numbers erupted into chatter, not even glancing at the sheet.

Once again she found herself glancing at the vacant spot beside her, she had no choice but to work. Pulling out the pen that was knotted in her blonde hair, she glanced at the first question in front of her.

"Do you remember Josh Franceschi that used to be in Sixth Form here?" her face turned hot at the name her ears picked up. A female voice behind her brought him up, she could tell by the smugness and deliberation in her tone that this wasn't a coincidence. She spoke loud enough for her to hear.

She let her left hand go limp, stopping her mind from calculating the answer and tried her hardest to put a face to the voice. She listed the girls in her class alphabetically- going by the register that was called out at the beginning of each hour. Finally remembering which three girls occupied the seats behind; Daliah Simmons, Cassidy Clarke and Macy Clarkson.

"Oh I think so, wasn't he the kind of cute one?" the girl that replied had that unbearable nasally drawl- making her Macy. Eliminating her from being the one that brought up the topic. This disheartened Saskia, as Macy’s two companions were nothing short of beautiful. Irking what was definitely cautiousness on what their intentions where with the subject of her Josh.

“Well, did you know his band are like… touring and stuff now with Fightstar of all bands. They’re like, big though, you know what I mean? His band is definitely going places. To think, we’ve been seeing them for ages now. We’ve supported them since day one, not taking an interest suddenly because of a member in it or popularity.”

Saskia clenched onto her Parker ink pen and gritted her teeth. It had become a certainty that they were doing this on purpose. She knew that the last sentence was used to create points in their favour. For whatever game it was they were trying to involve her in as the opponent.

“Say, didn’t you have a crush on Josh once upon a time Cass?” a fresh voice said, without an ounce of quality acting skills to make it sound spontaneous.

“Why use past tense Liah? I’m pretty sure he makes me swoon still. All I have to do is think of those slow, sexy smiles he used to give me all the time.”

It was pretty easy for her to imagine how Cassidy was flicking her mahogany hair that she had constructed for about an hour that morning to create the scruffy, effortless look. She could imagine her pouting her cherry painted lips and worst of all she couldn’t help but think of them being all over him.

“Doesn’t he have a girlfriend now though?” Macy didn’t seem as clued in as the other two were on how this conversation was designed for effect. Her question was asked in utter confusion as to why her friend would be suddenly obsessing over a lost cause.

“What’s your point? Surely she must realise how lusted after her boyfriend will be, now that he is fronting the next big thing. Poor girl, there are so many girls across the country that are going to be willing to do anything to please their main poster boy. She must really trust him.” Daliah commented with a bell-like laugh.

She tried her hardest to relax her tensed muscles, to drown out their palaver and concentrate on mathematics. Of course, she failed in doing each of her intentions. She didn’t understand how she could let herself be fazed by the idle conversation behind her. They didn’t know anything about her and they definitely didn’t know anything about her and Josh.

“She goes to our school doesn’t she? I think I’ve seen her lurking at the merch stands during their gigs.”

There was an unattractive snort that followed that statement. “Yeah, probably flirting with Henri while her boyfriends back was turned, you know he can’t last an entire conversation if it’s completely innocent. If I was her, I’d be down at the front, clutching onto the barrier to sing along with every word Josh sang. It shows how ungrateful she is of their relationship.”

She knew Cassidy’s words shouldn’t hurt or sting painfully in her chest. They did, however, and even managed to bring moisture into her eyes. A part of her speech lodged itself in her brain. Quickly evolving into other streams of thoughts and connecting with things she didn’t want to think about. Gradually making her reach the conclusion that part of what she was saying was true. It was something she’d been denying, but it simply wasn’t going to disappear.

As she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, and she craftily removed in from the conformities of her tight jeans, she admitted it to herself silently. His name was readable on the screen, telling her that he was the one that wanted to be in contact with her. This was the first form of communication he’d used with her since tour began that she could reply to. Her thumb pressed a button to open the text message; her eyes hungrily scanned the words on the screen.

“I just wanted to tell you I love you.”

The empty feeling returned as she pressed for more options. Scrolling straight past reply and opting for delete instead. Just to stress on her worries. She rubbed her tired eyes with her hands, before rubbing her temples in a hope this would erase every current thought. She was completely ungrateful. She didn’t deserve his love. He took time to send her something, something so simple and yet beautiful. Yet she let how she was feeling in that moment take over.

“It’s only a matter of time before their relationship comes to a close. I mean, she’s nothing special and him being away will put strain on them. I don’t see it lasting any longer than next month.” Cassidy purred.

“And what do you think will happen then Cass? That he’ll come straight to you.” Macy said with complete sarcasm.

“Well, it’ll certainly create an opportunity won’t it?” Daliah giggled, she could imagine her nudging into her friend suggestively.
“And it’ll definitely be one I’ll grasp with two hands.” Were the last words from them that she had to stand any longer before the shrill bell echoed in the class room.

She rushed to escape immediately, not even hanging around to tuck her chair under the desk which she usually did through courtesy. They still managed to laugh loud enough for her to hear, even half way through the door. She’d given them the reaction they’d clearly being aiming for.