Pain Remains
Chapter 7. 'Her.'
MIKEY'S POV:
No.... no.... NO! How could I let this happen? I had kept it a secret for so long, how could I let it out now? And to burden Frank with what I did..... how? I'm not like this... this isn't me. But I know who's doing it. I know who's fault this is. And I'm out to get her.
'Mikes... it's okay. You can tell us. We know that you're in pain. We have seen it... been through it before. Talk to us Mikes. Please, talk to us.' Gerard assured me that they were all there for me.
'No, Gerard. I don't think you quite have actually. It's.... more.' I replied quietly. He frowned. Frank came and sat closer to me. He put his arm round me. 'Oh Frank.... I'm sorry that you had to-'
'No, Mikey. It's okay. You had to deal with it in some way, and that was your way. I'm fine with that. Trust me, I've had worse. You can talk to us, right guys?' he said, looking up at them. They all nodded. 'Come on, Mikes. Do you just wanna talk to one of us right now?' he asked me. I nodded and held on to him, breaking down in tears again. 'Alright, come on. Come on, we'll go into the back room.' he said, taking my hand and leading me into the recording room.
'Frank... it's her. It's the girl... who...' I paused, looking down at the floor.
'What? Did she hurt you? Mikey... did she try to hurt you?' he asked worriedly. I shook my head.
'No... no she didn't. She never would. She was so beautiful, so perfect. I love her so much. And she loved me. But, when it happened.... I couldn't deal with it. I just couldn't face it.'
'Face what? What happened Mikes?' he asked, taking my hand and moving it up to his face. He gently rested his chin on it and looked up at me.
'I got her..... I got her pregnant.' I finally said. 'I couldn't deal with the pressure when she told me. I just couldn't. So I......' I paused and sniffed. 'So I....' I began to say, but reached out for Frank. He held onto me until I had calmed down and I whispered two words. 'She's dead.'
'...Oh God, Frank! I stabbed her! I killed her! I hadn't meant to... .to kill her! I just meant to warn her, you know, just make sure that she knew she couldn't get me mad. I was under a lot of pressure. I just reached out, got the knife and.... shit. Frank! What do I do?! I killed my girlfriend! I killed my.......' I paused looking up at him, fresh tears welling in my eyes. 'I killed my child.'
No.... no.... NO! How could I let this happen? I had kept it a secret for so long, how could I let it out now? And to burden Frank with what I did..... how? I'm not like this... this isn't me. But I know who's doing it. I know who's fault this is. And I'm out to get her.
'Mikes... it's okay. You can tell us. We know that you're in pain. We have seen it... been through it before. Talk to us Mikes. Please, talk to us.' Gerard assured me that they were all there for me.
'No, Gerard. I don't think you quite have actually. It's.... more.' I replied quietly. He frowned. Frank came and sat closer to me. He put his arm round me. 'Oh Frank.... I'm sorry that you had to-'
'No, Mikey. It's okay. You had to deal with it in some way, and that was your way. I'm fine with that. Trust me, I've had worse. You can talk to us, right guys?' he said, looking up at them. They all nodded. 'Come on, Mikes. Do you just wanna talk to one of us right now?' he asked me. I nodded and held on to him, breaking down in tears again. 'Alright, come on. Come on, we'll go into the back room.' he said, taking my hand and leading me into the recording room.
'Frank... it's her. It's the girl... who...' I paused, looking down at the floor.
'What? Did she hurt you? Mikey... did she try to hurt you?' he asked worriedly. I shook my head.
'No... no she didn't. She never would. She was so beautiful, so perfect. I love her so much. And she loved me. But, when it happened.... I couldn't deal with it. I just couldn't face it.'
'Face what? What happened Mikes?' he asked, taking my hand and moving it up to his face. He gently rested his chin on it and looked up at me.
'I got her..... I got her pregnant.' I finally said. 'I couldn't deal with the pressure when she told me. I just couldn't. So I......' I paused and sniffed. 'So I....' I began to say, but reached out for Frank. He held onto me until I had calmed down and I whispered two words. 'She's dead.'
'...Oh God, Frank! I stabbed her! I killed her! I hadn't meant to... .to kill her! I just meant to warn her, you know, just make sure that she knew she couldn't get me mad. I was under a lot of pressure. I just reached out, got the knife and.... shit. Frank! What do I do?! I killed my girlfriend! I killed my.......' I paused looking up at him, fresh tears welling in my eyes. 'I killed my child.'