Lost

She gently pulled away, not because she wanted to but she felt the need to. She had now dragged him into her exceedingly confusing life. How could she have been so selfish? ”I’m sorry” was all she said, standing up, once again staring at the ground. She tried to push past him, but he stopped her by moving into her way.

She glanced up at this, puzzled, and saw he looked confused as well.

“Tell me one thing,” He said ”what are you sorry for?”

“For everything! For wasting your time and… and for dragging you into this mess and…”

“Hush” he said softly, once again smiling as he put his finger to her mouth to try and shut her up. It was funny how he could never get her to talk before and now she wouldn’t stop! She was adorable; he loved everything about her. And he knew that she was vulnerable, he could see it in her eyes. He now understood that he could do anything he wanted to her and she wouldn’t resist him. Not that he would take advantage of her, he cared far too much about her for that. But what about other guys? What had drawn him to her that first unthinkable day was unknown to him before, but now he thought he knew. It was her sheer helplessness. The way she put up a wall that needed to be torn down. She was different, no doubt about that, and he liked it, she wasn’t selfish at all, didn’t obsess over how she looked in the mirror, didn’t bother trying to dress stylishly. She didn’t care about that. And he could see it in her face that all she needed was someone to finally notice her, someone to think of her as more than a doormat to walk all over. He couldn’t resist then and there, he hugged her again. This time their bodies seemed to entwine into each other, making them as one almost.

For once in her life she felt safe. It was an amazing feeling. She didn’t know how he could make her feel this way but he did. He was a warm shelter, a shield for her to protect her from the rest of the world, and the rest of her life. That’s when she snapped back into reality and her eyes popped open. “What the hell am I doing?” she thought.

“What is it?” he asked, sincerely concerned. He had felt her suddenly tense up.

“What do I do about my ex?” she asked glancing up at him, fear in her eyes. She would kill herself before she agreed to remain with him for the rest of her life. But now she had something to live for, that feeling that he gave her, what was it? Love? No, it couldn’t be love… But maybe it was close. She couldn’t tell but she didn’t really care at the moment, she was too busy wrapped up in the nightmarish thoughts of her and him, married, she could picture ending up like her mother, abused and taken advantage of her whole life.

Then the rain began to pour, reminding them that they were outside. He took off his jacket and put it around her, trying to shelter her from the torrents falling around them. “Come on lets go, we’ll go back to my place.” He said, pulling her along, leading the way through the water droplets.