No one wants to hear a drunken fool

Adrienne’s POV

I wasn’t crying that night, not at all. But I couldn’t help being mad at Joey and Jakob, even though I knew they did all this for a good cause.
“Why are you so angry mom?” Joey cried when we got home.
“Because…” I started, but didn’t know how to continue as the boys were glaring at me.
Joey was very upset. His face was reddened and his eyes looked almost black. Jakob grabbed my arm, sobbing and with tears streaming down his cheeks.
“Because what mom?”
Oh how I wanted to bring him up in my arms again. But I didn’t have the energy. Didn’t have the energy to comfort my own children. Couldn’t be arsed to come up with any more lies about how everything was alright. Though I forced myself to at least look them straight in the eyes, saying:
“Because your father has been really stupid. He’s been treating me bad. I think he knows that now, but I’m still very angry with him.”
Christine was not around, as usual, she’d taken off somewhere with her daughters. I went into ‘my’ bedroom, followed by my sons.
“Look boys,” I sighed. “I want to get some rest now okay? Go to your room.”
“It’s not our room!” Jakob yelled, about to have a tantrum. “I want to go home to my own room!”
He made me even more angry, I couldn’t handle my nine year old at the time. Joey had already left the room, but I had to push Jakob outside.
“I’ll go over to dad’s!” He threatened.
“No you won’t.” I replied, leading him towards the Morgan twins’ room. “Get in there, and stay there until you’ve calmed down!”
I slammed the door shut, leaving the boys in there. But I couldn’t avoid hearing Joey, the last thing he said to me for days:
“You’re the one who should calm down.”

The next morning my boys didn’t seem too happy to see me. None of them even said a word and I started to feel bad about the day before. They didn’t deserve all the crap they had to put up with. But stupid as I was, I kept quiet and when I dropped them off at school, we still hadn’t sorted things out.
“I’ll pick you up at…” Joey shut the door before I could even finish the sentence.
I tried to repress the feelings of guilt. Staying away from Billie was the only right thing to do. Our sons would have to accept that we weren’t together anymore. Was that fair? I didn’t know.
Back in the apartment, Christine came to meet me at the door. She was on her way out and looked stressed. Before she left, she said:
“You have visitors.”
She nodded in the direction of the living room. I sneaked in there to see two well-known guys.
“Tré? Mike?”
They were seated in front of the TV and looked up at me when I came in. Mike came towards me, giving me a hug.
“Hey Adrienne. How are you doing?”
“I’ve been better.” I said, hugging back.
I suspected they were there for a reason. Tré came up to me, seeming concerned.
“Billie’s really sorry you know.” He said to me.
“Oh, so now he’s sent you huh? You know what? I don’t want to hear it.”
Why couldn’t everyone just leave me alone? And Billie was such a wuss. If he wanted to say something he should do it himself. But Mike shook his head.
“He didn’t send us. We are worried about you two. Billie’s not even the same anymore. He’s getting crazy without you.”
I went over and switched off the TV. Frustration came over me. I sighed irritated, hoping that they’d give it up and leave.
“Come on.” Tré said. “Billie can’t live without you.”
They both considerately gazed at me. I snapped:
“Well, I can’t live with a cheating man.”
I scowled back at them, continuing:
“I can’t believe you’re defending him!”
“We’re not defending him.” Mike declared. “What he did was awful. It was the stupidest thing ever. But I know he regrets it, Adrienne, and I know he would never do the same thing again. He loves you more than anything. His whole life circulates around you.”
Fine, I won’t deny that those words had some influence on me. Billie had always been a loving and faithful husband before this happened, as far as I know anyway. But there wasn’t much to suggest that it had never happened before, or that it might happen again.
“Mike’s right.” Tré said. “He really loves you.”
“But he has a funny way of showing it, doesn’t he?” I calmly remarked and walked out of the room, somehow to indicate that it was time for them to leave.
Mike and Tré weren’t thinking of leaving yet though. They followed me into the kitchen.
“If there’s nothing else you wanted..?” I said, sitting down at the table. “I’ve got some paperwork to do.”
“Just don’t do anything…” Mike didn’t quite know what to say. “…radical, you know?”
“Like what? Divorce?” I said, randomly holding up a paper from the table.
Tré was taking it pretty serious. Sometimes he can be rather amusing, I must say. He held up his hands, as if I was pointing a gun at them.
“Hey…” He chuckled nervously. “We don’t want that now, do we?”
Divorce had honestly not crossed my mind before, not like this. It scared me to think that way. To give up my marriage, forever. It was something I might have intended to threat with, but to actually go through with it…
“I don’t know…” I muttered and wrapped my arms around myself.
Because I missed having that someone to embrace and be close to. I missed my husband.

Billie’s POV

“So… Mr Armstrong.” A bored looking inspector, or whatever he preferred to be called, was chewing gum while staring at me. “Do you know why you’re here?”
“No.” I answered truthfully. “Too many parking fines?”
The man scowled at me.
“Arrogance won’t help you out of this.” He said.
“Help me out of what? I haven’t done anything wrong.”
I had no idea what was going on. The policeman glanced at the two security guards at the door, who were there to stop me if I’d make a run for it. Couldn’t see a reason to do that. I had nothing to hide!
“Right…” The police inspector murmured.
Long ago I’d gotten the impression that he was working against me. And I was worried about how to get out of this.
It was early in the morning and I had been waiting for this interrogation since last night. I’d been placed in a room, under surveillance, and sitting around for hours.
“Let’s get it over with so I can get out of here!” I’d exclaimed a hundred times.
“We’re working as fast as we can.” Was the sullen answer I’d got. “You’ll have to wait.”
And here I was, finally, hoping that this would get sorted out rather quickly. Whatever I was accused of, there couldn’t be much to hold against me. I was completely innocent for whatever crime I was suspected for committing. The inspector was reading some papers, and looked up at me every now and then.
“Ms Jessica Walters.” He suddenly blurted out. “I assume you’re familiar with that girl..?”
Her? Damn, I was always reminded about her. Was she the reason I was here? I had started to believe it had to do with Adrienne.
“Why? Is she dead?” I popped out.
I was given another stern look. Maybe it was a stupid guess but, hey, how was I supposed to know?
“No she isn’t. But you do know her?” The man asked edgily.
“Yes.” I answered, realizing there was no point in denying it. “Well… I don’t really know her…”
“You had sex with her.”
It wasn’t a question, but a statement. Not that I could contradict it, but I was annoyed by the fact that he didn’t really care what I had to say about it.
“Why am I here?” I couldn’t help yawning.
I was tired damnit! But the policemen around me seemed to think I was being haughty. The inspector leaned forward and stared into my eyes, probably trying to provoke me. I glared back at him.
“I know you.” He said.
“No you don’t..?”
“I mean, I know your type.”
He wouldn’t stop staring at me. I usually didn’t feel this uncomfortable, but this was freaking me out. For real.
“You’re that dumb, arrogant rockstar who thinks he can do whatever he likes.” He spitted out and then came even closer my face, whispering: “You disgust me.”
I frowned. This was pissing me off. I wouldn’t take that crap from him.
“What the fuck did I ever do to you?” I said. “Or to anybody? I’m not like that, so shut your mouth. You don’t know a shit about me.”
He leaned back, and his yellow teeth could be seen as he smirked at me.
“Well…” He said, browsing through the papers in front of him. “I do know that Jessica Walters has reported you for rape.”

Adrienne’s POV

“He won’t answer the phone mom.”
Jakob came into the bedroom I was currently sleeping in. I rolled over and pretended to be asleep. Wherever I was or whatever I did, I had to be reminded of Billie Joe all the time. It was really frustrating. Each time the kids mentioned him I had to bite my lip not to cry out something in frustration.
“Mom!”
My son wouldn’t go out. He walked over to my side and started shaking me awake.
“What?!” I groaned and opened my eyes. “Why are you up so early? It’s Saturday.”
“I want to call dad. But he’s not answering the phone.”
Jakob sat down on the bedside with the phone in his hands. I honestly wanted to tell him not to bother, but that wouldn’t be fair. I stroke his cheek.
“He’s probably in bed, honey.” I spoke softly. “You can call him later okay?”
He looked at me, then down at the floor, shrugging. I didn’t want him to be upset.
“Why don’t we go and make some breakfast? And then we’ll try and call daddy again.”
That made him beam a little. He got up and had that sweet smile on his face.
“Okay! Let’s go mom!”
I laughed, pleased that he wasn’t grumpy this morning. But I stayed in bed.
“You go ahead.” I said. “I’ll be with you in a minute.”
After a minute or two I got up, to another day of dread and despair. I had a day off work, something I’d normally appreciate. But work had been an escape from reality for these weeks and I’d kind of liked being busy with stuff at the office instead of being stuck at home with a lump in my throat.
Jakob had woken up his brother and they were sitting in front of the TV – the only thing they’d entertained themselves with since we’d moved into the apartment. I came in, wrapped in a dressing gown, and switched off the TV.
“Mom!” They both complained.
“No boys, come on, no TV. Help me out with the breakfast instead.”
It wasn’t without complaints they dragged themselves away from the ‘boob tube’. Joey seemed to be in an awful mood, like he usually was these days. And he still wouldn’t speak to me. It made me feel even worse, of course. I never would’ve wished for my kids to be miserable like me. I tried:
“Cereals Joey?”
A shrug was the only answer I got.
“I could make pancakes if you like.”
But no respond to that either. Jakob was cheering though. His young age didn’t make him as unforgivable as his brother. He even gave me sweet, spontaneous compliments.
“You’re the greatest mom in the world!”
I was glad to hear that. Lately I hadn’t been feeling like a good mom. This whole thing with Billie Joe had ruined the whole family. And it was painful to think about the kid’s situation. I knew that there wasn’t much I could do to protect them from everything, but there was a motherly instinct I guess. It made me feel a bit guilty, even though I knew it wasn’t my fault. I never thought Billie was like that. What scared me was that I felt like I didn’t know him anymore. There was a side of him I never knew existed.

At noon Jakob had called Billie’s cell phone several times, but there was no answer.
“Why isn’t he answering?” My youngest son cried out.
I tried to calm him down. Frankly, I wasn’t that worried. I thought that he was away somewhere, or sitting around in the house, licking his wounds like a coward. I couldn’t say that to Jakob, of course.
“I don’t know.” I said. “He must be busy. I bet he’ll call back in a minute.”
Minutes past. Hours past. I was starting to get worried myself, even if I wouldn’t admit it to myself. Jakob was very restless and walked around with the phone in his hands.
“Maybe uncle Mike would know?” He asked at last.
I was reading magazines in the living room, trying to look relaxed. It would be stupid to get all worked up about it and make the kids more anxious than they already were.
“I don’t know.” I repeated. “Call him if that will make you feel better.”
And so he did. He went back into the kitchen and dialled Mike’s number. But only a minute after, he came back and gave the phone to me.
“He wants to talk with you.”
Jakob, who still seemed apprehensive, sat around and waited as I talked to Mike.
“Mike, what’s up?”
“Hey, uhm…” He said in a gauche voice. “I understand Jakob’s trying to reach Billie.”
“Yeah.” I said. “Do you know where he is? Because we’ve been calling all morning. Well, not me but…”
“Adie,” Mike interrupted. “I just found out where he is.”
Little Jakob came closer, trying to figure out what we were saying.
“Yes?” I wanted Mike to continue.
I could tell there was something wrong. Mike sighed heavily.
“He’s in some real deep shit.” He let out. “Billie just called me and he didn’t want me to tell you…”
“Tell me what?” I was ready to freak out, but realized that it wouldn’t make Jakob feel better.
I stood up, started to walk away from him so that he wouldn’t hear.
“What’s going on?” I asked, afraid of hearing something awful.
“Billie’s was taken by the police last night.”
Now that was a surprise.
“What? Wait… Why?” I was so confused.
“He said he’d been set up by that Jessica girl.” Mike paused, I guess he thought the mention of her would freak me out. “They’re questioning him and shit. It seems like they won’t listen to him.”
“Okay, hold on.” I mumbled, trying to think straight. “So he’s arrested?”
Mike began to explain that Jessica had charged him with rape, which sounded too crazy. I found myself in an uncomfortable position, where a part of me felt like defending Billie. I said, more to myself:
“But… that can’t be right…”
“No, I know, it’s not true.” Mike joined in. “She set him up!”
We were both quite for a while. I still couldn’t figure it out. What was all this about? I remembered that Friday when Jessica came to see me. That scornful smile of hers was etched into my memory. It didn’t fit together. And the thought of Billie committing an indecent assault just made me sick. He may have done enough harm by sleeping with her, but rape… It didn’t exist. It couldn’t be true.
“Adrienne, we both know it’s a false accuse.” Mike spoke again. “We have to help him out of this.”
“We?” I began to protest. “Have you by any chance forgotten what he’s done to me and the children? There’s no ‘we’ in this!”
I heard him sigh again. With restrained irritation he said:
“I know how you must feel. But right now we have to do something about this. He deserves being punished for what he did to you, but not for something he hasn’t done. Think about Joey and Jakob.”
“Leave me alone please.” Was the only thing I said before hanging up.
I felt so lost. What was I supposed to do? This was certainly not expected. I thought that it was out of my hands. It was Billie’s shit, and I wasn’t going to cover up for him this time. But thinking about Mike’s words gave me a different perspective. The boys. It just wasn’t fair to them.
Jakob looked up at me as I came back. I noticed the disappointment in his face when I putted the phone away.
“When can I talk to dad?” He asked.
I just couldn’t let him know that Billie was arrested. I really hated hiding stuff from the kids, but telling them would make them sick by worry.
“Jake…” I spoke softly and pulled him into a hug. “He’ll call you in a few hours okay?”
“Why not now?” He wanted to know.
“He’s busy, you see…” I rambled, starting to feel that lump in my throat. “You can talk to him later.”
And Jakob accepted that answer, at least for the moment. As soon as he had strolled outside to join his brother, I couldn’t help bursting into tears. This was more than I was able to take. Billie’s arrest didn’t make anything easier.

Billie’s POV

“Good afternoon Mr Armstrong. How nice of you to join us again. This time we hope you’ll share more with us about this incident...”
I glared at the inspector, feeling like knocking his grinning face. That hope of getting out of this mess had left me some time before. I leaned back in the chair, closed my eyes, and repeated for what seemed to be the hundred time:
“I’ve done nothing wrong. She’s lying. Nothing happened.”
And of course, neither this time he listened. He laid his hands on a heap of paper. I wouldn’t say anything else, so he was the one starting to talk.
“Alright… Why don’t I tell you what happened?”
I scowled but let him continue. Maybe it’d be best if he’d say whatever he had on his mind and then he might shut up while listening to me.
“You were drunk.” He stated, not looking for my agreement. “You spotted the girl and couldn’t keep your hands to yourself. You followed her to her apartment and assaulted her. Sir, sometimes it’s better to use your head than your…”
“It’s not what happened!” I cried out, shutting up the scattered laughter from the security guards around. “Get your facts straight before judging me. Who said she’s telling the truth?”
All eyes on me. The inspector, looking slightly amused over my exasperation, crossed his arms over his big belly.
“Fine.” He said, and spread his arms again. “So tell us then. Share your story with us. Please.”
Mocking voice, and the ugly grin shown again. Amazed over the fact that he, for once, was going to listen to me, I cleared my throat.
“Okay well… uhm…” I began as everyone kept staring at me. “First of all, I didn’t track her down to her apartment, she took me there.”
“Your car was parked outside.”
“So?! We took my car.”
The man scratched his head and looked confused. He sure wasn’t the smart-ass he pretended to be.
“You used physical violence…”
“No, no. You’ve got it all wrong.” I elucidated, regaining my confidence. “She was on to me all night. Yeah, I got drunk, but I know I didn’t do anything illegal. She took me to her place and…”
I felt really horrible as I forced myself to continue:
“… we slept together.”
But the inspector had objections.
“That’s not what Ms Walters says.”
“Look, whatever she says, it’s lies. The next morning she was still on to me, flirting and shit. She wasn’t hurt at all.”
I clenched a fist, hating her guts.
“She even told my wife somehow…” I said, looking at my wedding ring. “Only to make me miserable. She’s a whore, and she wanted my money or whatever. And she wanted to ruin my life at the same time.”
There just wasn’t any way to see her as a victim. I tried to explain how I was the victim, how she used me. But it was a stubborn inspector in front of me, who didn’t seem to believe my story wholeheartedly.
“Are you sure this is what happened?” He morosely persisted, and with a supercilious smile he added: “Can you prove any of this?”
And I replied bitterly:
“How could I? You’ll just have to believe me I guess.”
“Well, let me remind you of that your criminal record isn’t exactly unblemished.”
Was I supposed to laugh or cry? This wasn’t getting anywhere. No matter what I said, these people saw me as guilty. Not even the innocent truth could get me out of there. We spent hours talking back and forth about that night. I was asked questions all the time, which I tried to answer as well as I could. Me being drunk when it all happened wasn’t helping very much at the moment, I couldn’t recall everything I’d done. And I had repressed the remaining memories a long time ago.
“What time did you leave the pub?”
“Uhm…”
“Did you go straight to her place?”
“I don’t know… Does it matter?”
Whether my answers helped me anywhere at all I wasn’t sure. But I did pretty well I guess, since the inspector wasn’t as judging as before when he’d ran out of questions. I knew he didn’t like me though. I didn’t show that bastard any respect whatsoever.
Late that evening, after taking a break (meaning that I sat around in the interrogation room under surveillance) we were in the middle of going through everything again. But suddenly there was a knock on the door and another officer came in. He went over to the inspector and whispered something in his ear. Almost immediately his expression got even more sullen and his chair even fell over when he rushed up to follow the policeman out of the room. So I was left again, with two pair of staring eyes at me. The two security guards weren’t making a sound but their looks were humiliating. It surely took fifteen minutes before the two others returned. The inspector was still upset, I could tell by his reddened face. He didn’t care to sit down or even look at me when he muttered:
“You’re free to go.”
“What?”
I blinked confused at the two of them.
“Ms Walters has dropped the charges against you.” The disgruntled inspector told me.
“Oh…”
I slowly got up from the chair, looking at the policemen around me to be sure that it was okay. There wasn’t much more to be said. I was released, at last. By midnight I was escorted back to my house. It was the young officer from two nights before who gave me a ride. I remember that he was starting a conversation with me but I wasn’t keen on talking to anyone at that point. There was still a lot of confusion around everything. And I hadn’t slept at all for two nights. But it wasn’t until I stepped out of the car, out on the street outside my house, that I was starting to feel kinda sick. There was a sudden nausea that came over me and I felt a bit dizzy as I walked towards the door. Travel sickness? Wouldn’t think so.
“Hey, are you alright?” I heard the officer behind me.
I began to sweat. Maybe I just needed some sleep. I gesticulated at him to leave.
“I’m fine, it’s just… I’m fine.”
It wasn’t exactly the truth, that much I had to admit to myself, but he took my word for it and was soon to be gone. I began to stumble my way towards the house and found myself having to use some effort to even lock up the door. What happened next isn’t that clear to me anymore though. I managed to get inside, supporting myself against the wall. Then all I know for sure is that I sank to the floor as everything went black before my eyes.