I Can't Believe This

“Lisa?” Billie called, walking through my suite.

“Yea?” I answered, poking my head out of the bathroom.

Billie began laughing as he took in the sight of me holding on to part of my hair with one hand, and straightening the rest with my other hand.

“Shut up.” I said playfully, as Billie wrapped his arms around me.

He smiled again. “We’re going home tomorrow, our last show is tonight.”

“Really?” I asked. My mood lifting at the knowledge. “Good, I’m ready to go home.”

“Same here.” He grinned, resting his head on my shoulder, and gazing at our reflection in the mirror.

“You look tired.” I commented, looking a his reflected face.

“It’s nothing.” He shrugged. “So, our show is at 7:30. Are you going to come?”

“No, Rhianna wanted me to go shopping with her tonight. Since it’s our last night and everything.”

“Oh.” Billie said, quietly.

I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was disappointed, so I threw in, “Is that ok?”

“Yeah, it’s fine.”

“Are you sure? You don’t seem fine with it.” I pressed.

He laughed lightly, “I said it’s fine, go shopping and have a good time.”

“I won’t go if you’d like me to go to your concert.” I persisted stupidly.

“Why do you always do this?” Billie asked, amusement coloring his features.

“Do what?”

“Try to find another meaning to what I’m saying.”

“I don’t.” I argued.

“Yes you do.” He laughed. It was a hard laugh.

“No I don’t. I know when you aren’t alright with something. You get this look in your eyes.” I continued, glowering at him.

“And I suppose I have that look in my eyes right now?” He asked, his eyes sparkling.

“As a matter of fact…” I paused, “you do.”

“Arg!” He groaned, the amusement gone in his eyes. “Now listen to me,” He paused, searching my face to make sure I was actually listening, before continuing. “I said that it’s fine that you don’t want to come to this concert, and I meant it.” He added, his eyes growing soft.

“Alright…You’re sure that it’s ok? I mean, I can always…”

He cut me off before I had the chance to finish my sentence.

“Lisa…” he warned, pulling me closer to his chest, and placing his hands on my hips. “It’s fine.” He whispered, kissing me lightly.

“’Kay, I just don’t want you to-”

“Shut up.” He whispered, placing a light kiss on my neck.

I lost my train of thought then, and just concentrated on my breathing. He trailed kisses up and down my jaw line, before meeting my lips with his again. My fingers twined in his hair, pulling him closer, wanting more.

Not thinking about what I was doing, I began to unbutton his shirt. I tossed it to the floor and kissed him again. I started to work at getting his belt off, when Billie pulled my shirt over my head, kissing my collarbone as he threw the piece of cloth to the ground. Billie began fumbling with the waistband of my jeans, unbuttoning them. Before pulling them off, he picked up my delicate frame, guiding us to the bed.

He crawled over me, grinning widely, as he reached for my jeans again. Finally undoing them, he slid them down my legs, and discarded them to the floor. Our breathing became faster as we passionately kissed each other, our hands exploring each other’s bodies. With one last effort, Billie kicked the door to the bedroom closed.

***

My eyes fluttered open, my mind trying to focus. I looked up, finding Billie’s liquid pools of emerald staring down at me. I smiled, mirroring his expression. I propped myself up on my elbow, taking in his muscular, bare chest. The events from a couple hours ago, flooding back. I grinned again at the thought of our midday romp.

“Hey.” He said quietly, smiling.

“Hi.” I blushed, suddenly becoming hyperaware that I was in bed with him, naked.

I was no longer a virgin.

“So…” he trailed off.

“So…” I repeated. Why is this so awkward? I thought to myself

“Why is this so awkward?” Billie asked, seeming to read my mind, and laughing.

“I have no idea.” I laughed.

The seconds passed, as we stared at each other in silence.

“Wait, what time is it?” Billie asked, suddenly, trying to look over my bare shoulder at the clock, but having no luck.

“Um…” I said, glancing at the bedside clock, “5:30.”

“Shit, I have to go to practice.” He muttered, the corners of his mouth pulling down into a frown, but he didn't make any effort to get out of bed.

“I don’t wanna go.” He whined, after a couple of seconds.

“I don’t want you to either, but you do, and I have to get dressed and meet Rhianna.

“Yea.” He sighed, getting up.

I followed, getting dressed in record time, and walking back into the common room. “’Kay, I’ll see you later tonight, and good luck, or break a leg. Whatever the hell it is that you say.” I laughed.

“I think it’s the latter.” Billie grinned, amused by the confused look on my face. “Have fun shopping. I’ll see you later.”

“Oh I will, you know how much I love shopping.” I said, rolling my eyes. Heavy sarcasm. “Bye.” I kissed him once more, and closed the door, just as someone else knocked on it.

“Hey Rhianna. Ready to go?” I asked, grabbing my purse.

“Yea, lets go.” She said as I closed the door to our suite and followed her to the elevator.

***

“Where do you want to go first?’ I asked, looking around at all the shops.

“I don’t know, how about there?” She answered, pointing to a brightly lit clothing store.

“Sure.” I Crossed the street, going into the store with Rhianna.

It had a lot of clothes, although some of them looked like they belonged in the sixties. Don’t get me wrong, vintage is cool, but this vintage wasn’t.

“Look at these shoes.” Rhianna grimaced, holding up a pair of bright yellow shoes that had orange flower print on them.

“Wow, you would have to be on some serious drugs to go out in public with those on.” I laughed. “What about this?” I held another pair of shoes that were almost just as bad.

“Um…no. Lets go somewhere else.”

“Good idea.” I agreed, walking out of the store.

We walked down the dimly lit streets for awhile, passing almost every store, and not bothering to go in because they all looked like the first one. The lights began to get dimmer as we walked, but we didn’t really notice, since we were busily chatting. I looked up, after our conversation ended, and noticed how the traffic and pedestrians were thinning out.

“Hey, we should probably go back.” I suggested, not liking the surroundings.

“Yeah, come on.” Rhianna agreed, turning around.

That’s when I noticed them.

Three men, who looked like they were in their twenties, were behind us. I glanced at Rhianna and she looked just as frozen as I was. I don’t know what it was about them, but I got a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. This was not good.

“Just keep walking.” I whispered to Rhianna, as I stepped forward.

I saw her nod briefly, before following my lead. We walked past the dangerous looking men, with little difficulty. But, of course, nothing can ever be as easy as that.

“Hey.” One of them called. The blonde haired man, from what I could tell.

I kept walking but Rhianna froze. Fuck. I thought to myself. I turned around again, and grabbed her arm, silently telling her to keep walking.

“Hey, where ya going?” The blonde haired man called to us, while he closed the distance between us.

The other two men did the same, coming to a stop about 5 feet from us.

“What’s the hurry?” The dark haired man asked, his eyes looking us up and down.

“We’re meeting people.” I said, trying to be convincing.

“Well why don’t we wait with you? We wouldn’t anything to happen to such pretty girls such as yourselves. It’s not safe here ya know, a lot of weirdos out at this time of night.” He continued, smiling at some inside joke.

I got the feeling he wasn’t lying, and that he was warning us about him and his friends.

They stepped closer.

“We really have to be going.” I said, tugging on Rhianna’s arm. We spun around, walking forward fast.

“Wait!” he called again, grabbing my arm.

I spun around, fury taking over, “Fuck off!” I yelled.

“Ooh, I like ‘em feisty.” The blonde haired man grinned, tightening his grip on my arm.

“Let go of her faggot.” Rhianna said, anger glinting metallic in her eyes.

“Ooh, another feisty one. Phil, you get her. The redhead is mine.”

“Alright.” The one named Phil, smiled. “I love brunettes.” He added, grabbing Rhianna before she could distanced herself from him.

“Hey, hey, hey…there’s no hurry.” He grinned, trying sound reassuring.

God how I wished Billie were here, and Mike and Tre. I looked up at the man in front of me, glaring, when an idea suddenly flashed in my brain. “What’s your name?” I asked, trying to sound curious, and endearing.

Apparently it worked, because he smiled, before answering. Dumbass.

“My name’s Jack, sweetheart.” He said, pulling me even closer.

“Oh, well that’s a nice name.” I smiled.

My eyes wandered over to Rhianna, and saw the skeptical look on her face. I just nodded, and stared back at ‘Jack’. Out of the corner of my eye I saw realization transform Rhianna’s features, from terrified, to mischievous.

“So, honey, what are you doing out here at this time of night?” He asked, wrapping his arms around my waist.

I felt so uncomfortable, and I also felt like I was betraying Billie. But I knew I wasn’t, I was just doing what I had to, to make sure nothing happened to me or Rhianna.

I wiggled out of his grasp anyway, the closeness making me want to puke. “Not so fast.” I replied.

“Oh, come on.” he said, moving closer again.

My reflexes made me move back intuitively. He grinned, stepping closer.

I felt like I was being hunted. I tossed a quick glance around to see if anyone was close by…there wasn’t, and my panic was beginning to get the best of me.

“No one can help you. These streets are mostly deserted at this time. And I can guarantee that no one will hear you scream.” He grinned again, echoing my thoughts.

Panic coursing through my body, I looked at Rhianna again. That Phil guy had backed her up against the wall, placing both of his hands on either side of her head.

“You don’t wanna touch me.” I warned.

“See, that’s where you’re wrong. I do want to touch you. So badly that it almost hurts.”

He grabbed me then, and I couldn’t help but let tears drain from my eyes, and flow freely over my cheeks. Again, he seemed to gain more pleasure out of watching my fear.

“Please don’t.” I chocked out through my sobs. I felt weak, I was going to be raped. I knew it. And there was nothing I could do to stop it. I knew I couldn’t fight him off. And even if I could, there were two others. But I had to try.

“I can’t stop myself. I want you, and there’s no one here who’s going to stop me.” He pushed me against the wall, kissing me roughly.

I struggled as best I could, trying to escape his disgusting lips. It didn’t work. He pulled back for a moment, before unzipping my sweatshirt. The sweatshirt that Billie had gotten me a couple of days ago. I sobbed more. I couldn’t see Rhianna from here, but I could hear her, she was crying too.

He pulled off my precious gift from Billie, and threw it to the ground, kicking it away. It was then I noticed that it was cold out. I shivered.

He began kissing my neck, biting it here and there. I struggled, pushing him back with all the strength I had, he stumbled, but didn’t fall, and I wasn’t able to push him far enough away, so that I could escape. My action pissed him off and he slapped me.

“You better not do that again bitch.” He growled in my ear, pressing his groin against me.

He kissed me again, his hands forcing their way up my shirt. How had this happened? My day had been so great. I woke up in the arms of the man I cared most about, I had lost my virginity to that same man, and now here I was, getting ready to be raped by some asshole named Jack. Fuck this! I thought. I’m not taking it. I’m not going to be raped! I gathered all the energy I had once again, adrenaline fueling me, and my knee connected with his crotch.

He screamed out in pain, and jumped back. He was bent over, holding himself, as I kneed him in the face. I heard another crack and saw the man that had been abusing Rhianna fall to the ground, his face bloody. The other man, who was supposedly their friend, took off. I kicked Jack again, and again, not being able to control myself. I wanted to kill him, I realized. I did, I really did. But that’s not what made me stop. The idea that I would kill him made me stop.

Rhianna walked over then, putting her arm around my shoulder, leading me away from our attackers.

***

We walked for what seemed like forever, until we got the venue that Billie, Tre, and Mike were playing at. I looked at the broken face of my watch and barely made out the time. 8:57 p.m. They would be done with their concert soon. So we decided to head there, and wait for them. We made it to the venue, and we pulled out the passes Billie and Tre had given us. We took them with us just in case we decided to go to the concert instead of shop.

I wish we had.

The security guard was very helpful and let us into their dressing room, so we could wait, and get something to eat. He knew we had been through a lot. Our faces were smudged with dirt, our clothes ripped, makeup smeared.

I sat down on the couch, the tears that had been streaming out of my eyes subsiding. I was tempted to get up and go to tre’s dressing room, so I could talk to Rhianna, but I was too tired. I poured myself a glass of water, and looked in the mirror. I had three hickys on my neck. I stared at them, disgustedly and sat down again. Then the door swung open, revealing a sweaty Billie Joe.

He smiled when he saw me, until he looked closer, his gaze becoming frightened as he took me in. He rushed over, and pulled me into his lap asking what had happened.

I couldn’t speak. My throat was dry. I wrapped my arms around him, burying my face into his chest, letting my tears flow again, and clinging to him for dear life.