I Can't Believe This

A/N: Ok, so I'd like to start out by saying thanks for being patient. :) I appreciate it. And I'd also like to tell everyone that I've decided to keep PMing people, partly because I know I like to have other author's let me know when there's an update to their story and also because it's been so long since I added a chapter, that I just feel like I should. So that's it. I hope you all enjoy this chapter.
<33 Lisa

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I sighed, flopping down face first onto the bed. Tomorrow I would call my dad back and smooth things over. I sighed and turned my head to the side, my eyes still closed. I felt the bed sink a bit next to me, and opened my eyes to find Billie sitting next to me. I sat up slowly, turning towards him. “Hey.”

“You ok?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just tired.”

“Can I ask you something?” A cautious look clouded his face.

“Of course,” I said reassuringly.

“I know you told me earlier that your dad might get mad that you and I are living together and everything, but I never thought that he would react like that- overreact like that.”

I sighed again. I was planning on telling Billie everything about my past, I just hadn’t planned on it being tonight. But the look on his face was enough. He really wanted to understand why my father had hung up on me, and suddenly, there was no time like the present to tell Billie what I had once been like. “Billie, you know all those parties Rhianna and I told you about?”

He nodded and continued to stare at me with interest, waiting for whatever I was going to say.

“Well, when I was a teenager, I was,” I stopped, trying to think of how to put it. “Rebellious. And I know that all teenagers are to some extent, but I was a way more than a handful- as my parents would say- when I was younger. I liked to go out and have a good time, no matter what. At the time I didn’t realize how it was hurting my parents, to see their daughter, basically self destructing right in front of them. At one point I had found a guy I really thought I loved. My parents hated it and that made me rebel even more. Eventually I moved in with him. For the first time in my life I thought I was happy, but,” I trailed off.

Even years later the memory was still raw and untouched by time in my mind. I looked up at Billie and he was still waiting patiently for me to finish. I drew in a deep breathe. “But, that didn’t last. He started to hit me when I did something wrong. At first I thought, that if I was really careful the abuse would stop, and for awhile it did. But soon it started again, and this time it wasn’t just when I did something he thought was wrong, it was all the time. Then, one night I refused to sleep with him, because I wasn’t ready, and I thought he would understand, just like all the times that came before. But he didn’t. I was naive and he started hitting me again, and that night he tried to rape me. I got away and went back to my family. After that he was arrested.”

My chest felt tight, my eyes burning with unshed tears. I hadn’t even realized that I wasn’t looking Billie in the eye anymore. I blinked the tears back and looked up. The look on Billie’s face was too much. I don’t think I could’ve held the tears back even if I'd tried. He folded me into his chest and stroked my hair, whispering comforts into my ear.

The tears eventually slowed and I felt drained and weak. I moved back from Billie a little. “That’s why my dad got so pissed off. He overreacted, but it was out of love and protectiveness.”

“He doesn’t want you to get hurt again,” Billie said, quietly, his eyes clouding for a moment. “You know I would never do something like that, don’t you?” he asked, voice soft, unsure.

My eyes widened. Of course I knew that. “Billie, I know you wouldn’t do that. And you know you wouldn’t do that.” I kissed him softly. “Why do you seem so unsure all of a sudden?”

“I just don’t want you to think that I would ever be capable of something like that.”

“I know you aren’t. You aren’t like my old boyfriend was. When I’m with you I know that I’m safe, that you love me.”

He smiled and pulled me to him again. “Good.”

***

I woke up with a pair of arms around me. I snuggled a little further into the sheets and pressed myself closer to Billie, my face against his chest. I kissed the bare flesh there gently. Billie moved a little and pulled me even closer, a smile forming on his lips. “Good morning,” I whispered.

His eyes opened slowly. “Good morning.”

I don’t know how long we laid there, just watching each other, but I finally sat up, pushing the covers back. I needed a shower and I needed to call my parents. I sighed. I was not looking forward to that. I turned back to Billie to find his eyes closed again. I smiled and shook my head. “I’m getting a shower,” I said, and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

Billie was still lying in bed when I finished my shower. “Aren’t you ever going to get up?” I walked towards the closet to get some clothes.

“Eventually,” Billie said, sitting up a little.

I smirked, I knew how to make Billie get up. Yes, innuendo intended. I let the towel fall to the ground and turned back to the closet, picking out all the things I needed to get dressed. I had just finished getting my underwear and my bra on when Billie’s strong arms wrapped around my waist and spun me around. I smirked. “Hello.”

“Hi.” Billie leaned in and began kissing my neck, his hands already reaching the clasp on my bra and undoing it.

I pushed him back a little, smiling. “I just got out of the shower, and if I let you continue, I’ll have to get another one.”

It was Billie’s turn to smirk and when he spoke his voice was husky and low. “That’s alright, when we’re finished I can even help you, if you want.” He stepped forward, pushing my back against the closet door. He pressed his lips against mine, his tongue tracing my lips.

I wanted to give in, he probably had no idea how much, but I couldn’t. Not until the shit with my parents was straightened out. I sighed against his lips. “Billie, I need to talk to my parents.”

He pulled back. “You really know how to kill the mood, don’t you?”

I laughed. “Sorry, but like you told me last night., it’ll be even better if we wait.”

“Oh sure, use my own words against me.”

I smiled. “Of course.” I kissed him lightly on the nose, then finished getting dressed.

***

I sat on the bed, Billie holding my hand, while I stared at the phone. I picked it up and dialed my dad’s cell number, listening to it ring over and over. After five rings I figured he wasn’t going to pick up, or he didn’t have it with him. But finally the ringing stopped and was replaced with my dad’s voice.

“Hello?”

“Dad?” I rolled my eyes mentally, of course it was him, who else would have his cell phone.

“Lisa, hi.”

“Hi.”

The silence grew thick between us and that didn’t help the knot that had already formed in the pit of my stomach. I sighed, I’d been doing that a lot lately, but enough was enough. “I know you’re mad.” The silence didn’t break on his side of the phone. “Say something.”

“I’m not mad, I'm just, shocked.”

“So you hung up on me out of shock?” I knew I wasn’t helping the situation, but I knew that he had been mad, I wanted him to admit it. Stupid, but true.

“Alright, I know you won’t give up. Yes, I was mad. But before you say anything, I want you to know that I'm not mad because you’re living with this Billie, I'm mad because you didn’t tell me or your mother.”

Now I felt like shit. It had never occurred to me that they might get upset about me not telling them, though it should have. “Sorry, I just, I knew what you’d say, or at least I thought I knew.”

“I know. But it’s not that we’re not happy for you, we are. If you’ve found the right man, then good. But we don’t want you getting hurt like the last time you thought you’d found the right man.”

“I know you don’t, but he isn’t anything like Dan was.” The name burned as it slid out of my throat. I hated using his name. Despised it, actually. "Billie loves me, truly loves me.” I glanced up at Billie and he smiled at me, nodding.

“Good, I’m glad you’ve found someone. Your mother and I are both happy for you.”

“Thanks dad, tell mom thanks too.”

“I will, but,” he trailed off.

“But what?”

“We’d like to meet him.”

I looked at Billie. It made sense. I guess my parents should meet him. “Ok.”

“Great, we’ll call you when we get back home, and figure something out.”

“Sounds great, I’ll talk to you later dad, I love you.”

“Love you too.”

“Tell mom I love her too.”

“I will, bye.”

“Bye.” I hung up and set the phone on the bed beside me, smiling.

“So…?” Billie prompted.

“They’re happy for us, my dad just didn’t want me getting hurt again. And when they get back home, they want to meet you.”

“Ok, great. I should meet them.”

I nodded, settling myself against Billie, my back pressed into his chest, his arms around me. I grabbed his hand, kissing it lightly. “Thank you.” I turned so I could see his face, and gently pushed him back onto the bed, our bodies pressed together from chest to toe. “Now,” I started, my voice automatically dropping, “We can finish what we started earlier.” I pressed my mouth to his, my hands knotting in his hair.

His arms encircled my waist and he suddenly flipped us over so that he was on top and I gasped at the sudden movement. “Hmm, I’d like that.”