I Can't Believe This

“I called the ambulance before I called you. I just wanted someone else here to,” a voice said above me. Whoever it was, they sounded tired and nervous. Or was it scared?

“Alright, I get that. But what the hell happened?” a different voice asked, anger clearly present in their tone.

“I don’t know exactly. We were arguing. I tripped going up the stairs. I–I pushed Lisa away when she tried to keep me balanced. She–she.” A strangled cry escaped from their mouth. “She fell, I–,” This time the strangled cry turned into a full blown sob.

“Hey, it’s okay. She’ll be okay. She’s tough, remember?”

My head was killing me. There were so many sensations running through my body. Most of them pain. From the sharp pain in my leg to the dull ache in my head. I wanted to open my eyes, but they were too heavy.

“What if she’s not?” A voice whispered.

My mind finally recognized the voice as Billie Joe’s.

“She will be,” the other voice replied.

That voice clicked into place too. Tré. That was the other man.

“But it’s my fault,” Billie Joe countered, his voice barely resonating above a whisper.

“Yeah. It is your fault. I’m not going to try to make you feel better about that. What the fuck is wrong with you?” Tré asked sharply.

I really needed to open my eyes. I was pretty sure I was okay. Maybe a fracture in my leg. I struggled to lift my heavy eyelids. A ray of light hit my eyes. God it hurt. It was so bright.

“I don’t know! But I really don’t need a lecture from you right now. Okay? So just shut the fuck up,” Billie snapped.

“Ugh,” I groaned, opening my eyes wider. My head was spinning and I felt incredibly tired.

“Lisa!”

Cool hands were suddenly on my face, gently touching my cheeks.

I groaned once more and opened my eyes all the way. Billie Joe’s eyes were bright with tears as he stared down into my face. “Are you okay? Where do you hurt?”

“I’m fine,” I croaked. “I think it’s just my leg.” I tried to sit up only to be gently pushed back down by Tré.

“Nope. You have to stay right where you are until we know for sure you’re okay. We don’t want to risk it,” he explained. His eyes were also bright, but his tears were unshed.

“I can’t believe I fell down the stairs. How sad, even for me.” My lips turned up at the corners, my attempt at a smile, but it was more of a grimace.

“It was my fault, Lisa.”

My eyes turned back to Billie Joe’s face. I bit my lip to keep from crying. Everything was coming back now. The fight. Me trying to reason and talk to him. Him losing his balance and pushing me backward so I couldn’t help him.

I reached up and laid my hand on his cheek. “I’m fine,” was all I said.

“It could have been so much worse,” he argued, covering my hand with his. “I mean, it could have ended up–”

“But it didn’t,” I interrupted. “Except for the mild pain in my leg, nothing’s wrong.” The pain in my leg was actually beginning to increase, but I didn’t want Billie Joe or Tré to worry anymore. I was sure I was okay. My body was tough and had been through a whole lot worse and just taking a tumble down a flight of stairs.

Relief was main expression on Billie Joe’s face, but I could still see that his jaw was tense, his eyes a little too wide.

“The ambulance just pulled into the driveway,” Tré said from across the room where he was looking out the window.

I hadn’t even noticed him get up. I opened my mouth to protest the ambulance when a horrible thought crashed into my mind.

The baby.

Oh God. My stomach lurched and I suddenly felt like I was going to throw up. The baby. What if it was hurt? Or worse? My hands moved to my stomach, and I subconsciously probed the still-flat surface. “The baby,” I whispered. I could feel the terrified expression on my face. Which had made Billie Joe’s face contort with fear once again.

“What?” he asked, clearly not understanding what I’d just said.

“Tré!” I shrieked. “Tré!”

He ran over to where I was lying on the floor. “What, what?” he asked, his eyes frantically darting to random spots on my body. “What’s wrong?”

I couldn’t speak through the sobs ripping from my chest. My head was beginning to spin and I felt like I was going to pass out. “The–” I managed. “The baby!” I screamed.

Tré’s eyes widened. “Oh God.” The doorbell rang and he jumped up from the floor and sprinted out of the room. When he returned there were paramedics behind him, carrying a stretcher.

“Baby?” Billie Joe asked, as I was lifted from the floor. “What baby?” His eyes were huge. His face pale.

I choked back another sob. “Our baby.”

***

I barely remembered the ambulance ride. I had passed out almost right after the doors had been shut and we’d taken off to the hospital. After that it was just a blur of doctors. Some probing my body, checking for fractures and internal bleeding. Others asking me questions.

My eyes fluttered open. There was a stinging sensation in my left arm. I turned my head. A nurse was there, drawing blood.

“More tests,” she said, smiling at me sympathetically.

I tried to smile back, but I couldn’t. There was nothing to smile about right now. Not until I found out if our baby was okay. My eyes scanned the room until they rested on Billie Joe’s sleeping body. He was sitting in a chair right next to the right side of my bad. I looked down and saw that our hands were intertwined. I lifted our hands and brushed a light kiss onto the back of his hand. I smiled and laid my head back against the stiff hospital pillows.

I had just closed my eyes again when I heard the door open. I lifted my head a bit and smiled at Mike and Tré. “Hey, you guys.”

“Hey,” they whispered in unison.

Mike took the seat by the window and Tré pulled another chair up to my bed. “How you doing?”

The smile that had been on my lips vanished. “I’m fine,” I allowed. “But I won’t be completely okay until I know how the baby is. Did the doctors say anything to you two?” I asked hopefully. I’d rather get any bad news out of the way.

Mike shook his head while Tré frowned. “No. He said that you were going to be the first person to know,” Mike explained. “He did offer to let Billie Joe know, but Bill said he wanted to wait until you woke up.”

I nodded, considering that for a moment. I looked at Billie Joe again and gently removed my hand from his. I stroked his hair a few times before shaking his shoulder a bit. “Billie Joe,” I said. “Hey, come on. Wake up.”

His eyes slowing began to flutter until they finally opened. He lifted his head and focused on my face. “You’re awake,” he said, smiling. “How do you feel?”

I rolled my eyes out of habit. “I’m fine.” I licked my lips and nodded towards the door. “Where’s the doctor? I want to know how the baby is,” I said, deciding to get straight to the point.

“I’ll get him,” Mike offered, standing up.

“Thanks, Mike,” I said, smiling.

Silence settled around the three of us. It was unbearable, but I didn’t know what to say to break it. So, instead of thinking of something clever, I just said what I was feeling. “I’m scared.” My hand moved to lay on my stomach again.

Billie Joe leaned over and placed a soft kiss on my forehead. “So am I.”

“I’m gonna leave you two alone. This is more of a mother and father deal, so I’ll be out in the hall. Let me know what you find out,” Tré stated, quietly leaving the small hospital room.

Another few seconds of silenced passed, but this time I wasn’t the one to break it.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you were pregnant?” Billie Joe asked, his voice sounding subdued.

Shrugging, I looked at his face. I waited until his eyes met mine before I continued. “I don’t know. I guess I just didn’t want to add to what had already happened. You’d just gotten home from the hospital, where you were in a coma. I just didn’t think it was the best time. Then when I was ready to tell you, you were being…” I trailed off. I didn’t want to think about how he’d been acting.

“A complete asshole?” he supplied, raising his eyebrows.

That made me smile. “Well, yeah.”

He sighed and dropped his head. “I am so sorry. Really. I shouldn’t have acted that way towards you. I was being a fucking bastard.”

“Yes, you were,” I agreed simply. “But, I forgive you.”

“You do?” he asked, lifting his head back up so he could look at me.

His face was still tense.

“Yeah, I do.” I leaned forward, knowing he’d understand my intentions, and just as I’d reached the halfway point between our faces, his lips connected with mine. I could feel the anxiety in our kiss. Both of us were scared.

As soon I the thought crossed my mind, the door opened, revealing a man wearing the standard white doctor’s coat. Judging by the salt and pepper color of his hair I guessed he was in his late forties or early fifties. He was carrying a clipboard, which I assumed had information about me on it, and had a pen poised in his hand. He wrote something down, then shut the clipboard and looked up. His eyes were kind, but resigned. Definitely a doctor.

“And how are we feeling, Miss Hulings?” He came to stand by my bed.

“Fine. Is the baby okay?” My finger tightened around Billie Joe’s hand and he gave a gentle squeeze in response. My mouth felt dry and my tongue felt huge. I really wanted some water. I could also feel small beads of sweat pricking my skin.

“Ah, yes. The baby,” the doctor said.

Come on, I thought. Just tell me.

Billie Joe’s hand tightened around mine even more. I glanced at his face and saw how worried he was. And impatient. He was staring right at the doctor and a frown was forming on his face. I was pretty sure his expression matched mine flawlessly.

“Yes, the baby,” Billie Joe said, an edge to his voice.

The doctor smiled at us. “The baby is just fine.”

I sucked in a breath and grinned. The baby was still alive and unharmed. Thank God. I turned my grin on Billie Joe and found that he was also smiling widely.

He automatically leaned over and kissed me. “It’s okay,” he whispered.

“Yes,” the doctor interjected. “Perfectly healthy.”

“And you’re sure? You did every test?” I verified

He smiled and nodded. “Completely sure, Miss Hulings. The baby is perfect.” He opened his clipboard again and read a few things off of it before meeting my eyes again. “And you’re fine too. You have a sprained ankle though, so you’ll want to keep off of it as much as you can for the next couple of weeks. But other than that, you too, are in perfect health. Plus, you can go home today if you want.”

I nodded quickly. “Oh yeah.”

The doctor left the room and I grinned again. “We’re going to be parents!” I shouted, unable to contain the pure joy I felt coursing through my body. Everything was okay now.

Billie grinned at me and cupped my face in his hands. He kissed me softly for a moment then pulled back slightly, his lips still barely brushing against mine. “I love you so fucking much.” He pulled back more and laid his hand on my stomach. “And I love you too, little baby.” He looked up at me, his eyes bright again, but this time with happiness and relief.

“Go get Mike and Tré,” I suggested excitedly, pushing him back from me.

He returned a moment later, Tré and Mike following behind him.

“Hey, hey! You’re a mommy!” Tré said, smiling.

“Yeah, congratulations,” Mike added, grinning. He leaned down and kissed me on the cheek.

Tré followed suit, but instead placed the kiss on my forehead. “I’m going to be the godfather, right?” he whispered, winking at me.

I rolled my eyes. “A little early for that.”

“Yeah,” Mike agreed. “Besides, it’s pretty obvious that I’m going to be the godfather. This kid will need a positive male role model in his life. And you are definitely not it.”

“Hey, what about me?” Billie Joe argued. “I’m going to be the kids father, so I think I should be the positive role model.”

Mike just looked at him. “Yeah, no. I’m the only one of us who doesn’t act alike a four year old most of the time, therefore, I will be the role model.”

Tré pouted. “Jerk,” he muttered under his breath. He looked at me and winked again. “I know, it’s going to be me anyway, right? ‘I would be a fun godfather and I am definitely more fun than Mike."

"I heard that," Mike said.

"I know," Tré answered.

I laughed and shook my head. “You are something else Mr. Cool”

“Yeah, something weird,” Billie Joe said, grinning. “We’ll decide who’s the godfather once we get closer to actually having the baby.”

I raised one eyebrow at him. “What do you mean ‘we’?”

He smiled, looking sheepish. “Uh, I mean once Lisa has the baby.” He rubbed the back of his neck and kissed me.

“That’s what I thought,” I said, giggling.