I Can't Believe This

“Hey. Are you ok?”

“Yea. I’m fine. Just kind of nervous about tomorrow.” I reply. Tomorrow I’m going to meet Joey and Jake. I want to meet them but I don’t know if they’ll like me. I mean I am the new woman who just dropped into their dad’s life. And I don’t want them to think that I’m replacing their mom, I would never do that. I just, I don’t know. I’m so nervous!

“You’ll be fine.” Rhianna tells me, trying to be reassuring.

“That’s what Billie said.”

“And he’s right, you’re great with kids.”

“I guess, but…what if they hate me?”

“They wont, and you’ve got to stop wondering things like that. All the ‘what ifs’, you just have to set them aside and think about what’s happening now.”

She’s right. I need to stop thinking things like that. Focus on what is happening, not what could happen. “Yea, you’re right. I’ll be fine.” I hope.

***

Walking up the steps to Billie’s house was the most nerve racking seconds in my life, every time I get a step closer to the front door I want to turn and run. But that wouldn’t be right, no, I can do this. I push the doorbell and hear it ring throughout the house.

“You’re here. Great. Come on in.” Billie says as he ushers me inside. “Joey and Jake will be here in an hour”

“Ok.” I say, trying to seem as calm as physically possible.

“Still nervous?”

Damn him for being able to read me so easily. “Yea.”

“Me too.”

I smile at him and rap my arms around his neck, leaning into his shoulder. “I want them to like me.”

“They will.” He whispers, encircling him arms around my waist and giving me a soft kiss. “Trust me.”

***

I never thought that the sound of a doorbell would cause me to get a horrible feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach…but, then again, maybe I was wrong. I walked next to Billie silently as he opened the door to reveal two glowing faces. Joey and Jake ran to their dad and hugged him tightly. I could see the look of pure happiness on Billie’s face. Behind them Adie walked in the door, holding what I assumed was Joey and Jake’s stuff.

“I’ll be back tomorrow to pick them up.” She said tightly to Billie, glancing at me every once in awhile.

“Alright, and thank you Adie, ya know, for letting them stay.” Billie told her sincerely.

“It’s ok. So…” She said turning to me. “Who might you be?”

“I’m Lisa.”

“Ah, well nice to meet you.” She almost sounded sincere as she said this. I know it must be hard for her to see her ex with another woman.

“Nice to meet you too.” I said.

“Um…is it ok if I talk with Billie for a moment, maybe you could take Joey and Jake to their room? It will only take a second.”

“Oh, uh, sure. Ok,” I said turning to Joey and Jake, “You want to lead the way?” They nodded and headed up the stairs. I followed and I could feel Billie’s stare piercing my back. “Ok well, I guess this is it.” I stated as we entered a room that had a bed in it, and by the looks of it, Joey and Jake's rooms were conjoined.

“Yea, thanks for helping us.” Joey said as he put his stuff on his bed.

“Of course, so Jake, need any help?” I asked politely, ‘cause I could see that he was having some trouble getting his things in the closet.

“No!” He screeched and ran out of the room.

Man, I knew this was going to happen.

“Don’t worry about him, he’s just adjusting.” Joey said as he came and sat next to me on the bed. “He still thinks Mom and Dad are getting back together.”

I nodded slightly.

“He’ll get used to you being with Dad.”

I looked at Joey, shocked, I didn’t know Billie had told them we were together. But, I guess that was stupid of me, of course he told them we were together, it would be dumb not to. “Ya think? Cause I’m not so sure.”

“Yea, I’m sure.” He said looking at me with those emerald green eyes just like his dad’s. “Trust me.”

It amazed me how much he acted and looked like Billie. He knew how to make everything seem like it was ok, just like his dad. I think I’m really gonna like this kid. I thought to myself, walking down the stairs, following Joey. I came up behind Joey in the living room, just close enough to hear what Billie and Adie were saying.

“Yes, I’m with her.”

“Ok, but Billie...just...don’t hurt her.” Adie whispered.

“I won’t.” Billie said just as quietly.

“Alright, well I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Ok, bye Adie.”

I walked up and stopped next to Billie “Hey” He looked like he was deep in thought and didn’t answer right away, instead he looked down at the floor.

“Hey.” He said finally and looked at me, staring into my eyes. “Have I told you how glad I am that we’re together?”

“I believe you have.”

“Oh, well, who cares? I am so glad we’re together.” He said, pulling me closer.

“So am I.” He leaned in to kiss me, but I backed away.

“What?” He asked, looking completely confused.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea with your kids in the house.”

“Oh…yea, I guess you’re right.” He still looked sad, but I knew he understood. “Well, come on, time to find my kids.”

I followed him into the living room, where we found Joey and Jake playing a video game, Burnout 3 to be exact.

“Hey guys.” Billie said, sitting on the couch, watching his sons.

“Hey Dad.” They both said. Then Jake turned, saw me sitting next to Billie, and ran upstairs.

“Jake!” Billie yelled following his son up the stairs.

“Jake did the same thing, when he found out Mom was dating Dan. So don’t feel bad.” Joey told me.

God, I love this kid. “I can’t help it, I know he doesn’t like me.”

“Well, that’s too bad for him, I think you’re pretty cool, well so far.”

I laughed a little at his comment, “Thanks.”

“Ya wanna play?” He asked, referring to the video game.

“Uh…maybe later, I’m gonna check on your dad.”

“Ok.” He said, not really paying attention, cause he had turned back to the game.

I walked up the stairs, and listened for a second at Jake’s door, I didn’t hear anything, so I figured that Billie was done talking. I walked into Billie’s room and found him sitting on the edge of the bed, his face in his hands. “Hey, you ok?” I asked sitting next to him.

“Yea, Jake just needs to adjust.”

“I feel bad about all this, I mean, me just popping into your life, with no warning.

“Don’t ever feel bad about that, it’s not your fault. And I’m glad you just ‘popped’ into my life.”

“Oh yea?”

“Yea.” He said, putting his arm around my shoulders.

“Well, we should get back downstairs.”

“I guess.” He said pouting a little.

“If you come down, I’ll give you a cookie.”

“Alright, but it better be a big cookie.” He said following me down the stairs.

***

“What do you guys wanna have for dinner?” Billie asked Joey and Jake.

“Tacos!”

“No! I want spaghetti!" Jake yelled at Joey.

“Tacos!”

“Spaghetti!”

“You guys, calm down, jeez. How ‘bout pizza?”

Both of them sat there for a second thinking this over, and finally decided pizza would be a good compromise. So Billie went to get pizza. Great, now what do I do?

“Wanna play video games now?” Joey asked me.

“Sure, that’d be cool.” I follow Jake and Joey into the lounge, and took a seat next to Joey on the floor. Jake sat behind us and watched, not really saying anything, just observing. I heard the door open, Billie must be back.

“Yo! What’s for dinner?!”

“Uncle Tre!” Joey and Jake yelled, running up to him and giving him a huge hug.

“Hey squirts!” He gave them each a hug, then he noticed me standing behind them. “Lisa!” He yelled and gave me a bear hug.

“Tre!” I gasped. “Let go.”

“No.”

“Please? Just let go.” I gasped again, trying to get air into my lungs.

“Why?” He asked, still hugging me.

“Ribs…crushing….lungs…collapsing.”

“Oh, oops” he said and let go. He looked at me sheepishly. “Sorry.”

“S’ok.” I said and laughed at his reaction.

The door then opened once more to reveal Billie standing there, looking at us.

“Hey Billie, what’s for dinner?” Tre asked once more.

“I don’t know, why don’t you go home and find out.” Billie snapped.

“Jeez, don’t get your panties in a wad, I’m leaving…everyone..” He said turning to Joey, Jake and I, “Have a wonderful dinner.” He said then opened the door and left.

“A little help here.” Billie said, starting to lose his grip on the grocery bags.

“I got it.” I said and helped him into the kitchen. “I thought you were getting pizza.”

“I did, it’s in the bag, but on the way home I remembered that I needed some things, so I stopped at the store.”

“Ahh.” I looked in one of the bags and it was full of candy.” “Jesus Billie, you are gonna be so fat.” I said holding up a box of Twinkies.

“Shut up. They’re for Joey and Jake.” He said sticking his tongue out at me and grabbing the Twinkies from me.

“Dad! When is the pizza gonna be ready?” It was Jake.

“Soon.”

“Ok.”

I smirked, “Nice answer.”

“I know.” Billie said proudly.
***

“Joey and Jake are in bed.” Billie replied sounding tired, as he threw himself on the couch, laying his head in my lap.

“You look like hell.” I said running my fingers through his hair.

“Thanks babe.” He said smirking.

“You’re welcome.” I smiled and planted a kiss on his lips. I went to pull away when he pulled himself on top of me, kissing me passionately. “I thought you were tired.” I mumbled.

“I was.” He said and continued to kiss me. “But now I’m wide awake.” I felt his tongues slide against my teeth, deepening our kiss even more, his hands finding their way to my hips. I giggled a little at his touch, and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him more. I gasped at the sudden feeling of Billie’s hands under my shirt, lifting it up more and more. “Billie, no.” I said and pulled away. I sat up and looked at him. God I feel like a bitch. He sat up and looked at me, a wave of understanding washing through his eyes.

“It’s ok, you're right, i mean my kids are here, and i dont want to pressure you.”

“Thanks. I better go.”

“Ok, I’ll see you tomorrow?” He asked as he walked me to my car.

“Yea.” I said and kissed him softly. “Bye”

“Bye.”