Boston
Boston
I trudged through the dark streets, my small feet trailing behind my frame. I hated this with all my heart. Leaving. Leaving him.
In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... you said..
I pulled my black jacket on, it was getting cold and I wanted to stay healthy, I got ill too quickly. I continued walking, my bag attached to my back. I didn’t know where I was going, and to be honest, I didn’t care. Your probably sitting there thinking, oh what a looser, running away from home, his troubles. Yes, yeah I was.
My name is Frank Iero, I am 20 and from California.. Up until a week ago, I had everything a guy could want, well, everything a gay guy could want. I had a loving, breath taking beautiful boyfriend, a home, a secure unit that I could rely on. Now, I had nothing. You see, during that last happy week we had, I did something stupid. Very stupid, it was unforgivable, and I hated every last cell in my body for it.
I had cheated. I had sinned.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I’m down at the table we used to share, and I’m writing a letter to you. Gerard, you need to know why I did it, how I feel.
You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
You said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,
That’s right, you don’t wear my chains Gerard Way. You don’t know how I was feeling that night, I was drunk, high, I slipped up. And damn straight am I paying for that now. It happened slowly, I was slowly slipping into a dark world of booze, drugs, pills. You told me to stop so many times gee, so many times. I knew I should have listened to you, after all you had gone through it all. You tried so hard for me, so hard. And all I did was throw it back into your flawless face.
Words cannot describe how much I miss you, I guess I’m going to have to get used to it, you made it clear to me that you didn’t want to know me anymore. Ill obey those wishes, how ever hard it is going to be.
Every time I think of you, I think of the years we spent together. I remember when I first met you, your hazel eyes burning holes through my heart. That’s how I like it. I was yours. I remember the first date, that was amazing. You took me to that diner, proper classy that was. After we had eaten, holding hands the whole time you walked me to the river. We made out that whole night, that was when I realised it. I realised I loved you. I Remember the first time we made love. How it felt to be so close, to be as one. Right now, I really would give everything, anything for us to be that couple again; Not this messed up, watered down version of Us. Scrap that, there isn’t an us anymore, I made sure I screwed that up didn’t I. Its okay thought Gerard, I was the one that fucked things up. And I am truly sorry for that.
Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you
You said...
I made you cry. I made you laugh. I made you happy at one point. But when that time came, when you found my sordid, dirty secret you was anything but happy. I could tell, you were a broken man. I made you cry. I made you hurt inside and that was the very last thing I ever wanted to do. Remember when we were younger, when we made those promises as kids, never to hurt each other, always look after one another, but most importantly, stay together forever. I’m sorry I broke those promises Gerard Way.
You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
You said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,
Promise me one thing now Gerard. I know I broke our promises, but there is one last promise that will never be broken if I had my way. Stay happy Gee, promise me that you will move on, forget about me and my stupid ways. Find a nice guy, settle down. Be happy for me Gee? Because that’s a promise I cant break.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I carried on walking down the dirt roads, by now, vaguely knowing my destination. Boston. I was going to go to Boston. I had enough money in my pocket to get me there and settled down. A fresh start, some place I can find a new job, a home, forget about everything I have done. One thing I knew though, was that it was going to be near impossible to forget one aspect of my life, my heart; Gerard. Even after what I had done, how much I had hurt him, I couldn’t forget about him. He is the love of my life, will always be the love, my love. Shame I cant be his.
said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
That’s where I was heading too. Boston. I carried on walking, fortunately I was near the airport, I could catch a plane quickly, leave everything behind quicker. I like the theory of starting again, even though its going to break my heart, not being able to wake up with you in the mornings, snuggled tight, bodies entwined as one. Its going to break my heart by the fact I wont be able to kiss you whenever I liked, soft lips touching, tongues pressed together. Its breaking my heart that I cant hold you, hold you close to me and tell you everything is going to be okay, because really, I am the one that pushed you away. You were the victim in all of the Gee.
I finally arrived at the airport. I located the ticket sales, ran over and purchased my ticket to Boston. There, sitting in the coffee shop, I held onto the ticket from California. I held onto my ticket out of here, my ticket to a new life. I sipped my coffee slowly, carefully, remembering to savour the tastes on my lips. I did that to you, the last time I kissed you, the last time you allowed me to touch you before harshly pushing me from you, screaming I was pathetic.
I wonder what it will be like in Boston, what the weather will be like. Starting a fresh isn’t going to be easy. Especially without my Gerard. He was the one that did all the work around the house. The one that took care of everything, took care of me. This was going to be a test. I was scared, and the thing I wanted more then anything right now was to be back in Gerard’s strong arms.
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah
Tired. Tired of waiting, tired of thinking everything over in my head. I wanted it all to be gone, I wanted to wake up in Mine and Gerard’s warm comfy bed. I wanted to wake up and to find I had all been a night terror, simply a figment of my dormant imagination. I quickly got up from my chair, hearing my call for the plane away from this hell. I finished up my coffee just before walking over to the counter and throwing it in the trash. While I was standing there, music filled my ears, I loved this song. Me and Gee would sing it, Boston its called. Most properly why I wanted to go there for a fresh start. Subconsciously I started to sing, hum along with the last few verses.
Boston... where no one knows my name... yeah
Where no one knows my name...
Where no one knows my name...
Yeah Boston...
Where no one knows my name.
“Don’t go” I turned my head quickly. My eyes nearly shot from my head when I realised who was standing in front of me. He was a mess. Hadn’t shaved in days, sleep deprived. My Gerard. I just stared at him, my ears and brain not quite comprehending what he had just said to me.
“Don’t go Frank” He repeated those words again. They hit me like a thousand knives. What did this mean? Don’t go? How did he know where I was going? Why did he care, he made it clear he didn’t want me anymore.
Boston... where no one knows my name... yeah
Where no one knows my name...
Where no one knows my name...
Yeah Boston...
Where no one knows my name.
“I know your name Frank, isn’t that all that matters? Just please, forget what I said, forget what you done, just come home” His voice was cracking, alongside my heart. I hated to see him like this, so broken, so alone. But in all truth, it was how I was feeling also.
“Why? After what I did, I don’t deserve you Gee, you were right, I am a low life. I was off my head, but that was no excuse. Just let me go” suddenly, I had the urge to run. So I did. I shot off past Gerard, only to find him grabbing my arm, pulling me back and embracing me into his arms. I stiffened, but then relaxed to his warm touch. God, I missed this. I could tell he did too, the way he was holding onto me, never wanting to let me go. I nuzzled my nose into his next, he brought his head down and secured my position, kissing my messy, dirty hair. Everything was spinning right now, I was so confused. I felt guilty, I felt dirty for what I had done, but I also felt better, as Gerard kicking me out, leaving me like this had gotten me clean and sober. Really, he had even helped me when he hated me the most.
“Stay with me?” he asked, voice laced with hope.
“Gerard, I did a bad, bad thing. How can you forgive me from that?”
“When you love someone this much, anything they do is a blessing in disguise. Okay, you hurt me, badly. I wont deny that, but I realised that we all make mistakes, and I love you too much to let it go Frank.” He stared into my eyes, with every word he was saying, his lips grew closer to mine. Finally after his speech his placed his lips to mine. Pulses of electricity ran thought my blood, his kiss lighting feelings, emotions I hadn’t been aloud to feel for days. Eventually, we separated. Once again, his eyes shone, they glow with happiness that I hadn’t seen him have since he threw me out.
I realised, we all make mistakes. We all mess up at some point in our lives, some more than others, but one thing that I hadn’t realised until now, was that even when you hurt that one person that you love, the one single being you would die for, they will still love you, no matter how much they don’t want to, they will. Because love, which Is what Gerard and I have, is something that is powerful, and is so much more powerful than any sin you can commit.
In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... you said..
I pulled my black jacket on, it was getting cold and I wanted to stay healthy, I got ill too quickly. I continued walking, my bag attached to my back. I didn’t know where I was going, and to be honest, I didn’t care. Your probably sitting there thinking, oh what a looser, running away from home, his troubles. Yes, yeah I was.
My name is Frank Iero, I am 20 and from California.. Up until a week ago, I had everything a guy could want, well, everything a gay guy could want. I had a loving, breath taking beautiful boyfriend, a home, a secure unit that I could rely on. Now, I had nothing. You see, during that last happy week we had, I did something stupid. Very stupid, it was unforgivable, and I hated every last cell in my body for it.
I had cheated. I had sinned.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I’m down at the table we used to share, and I’m writing a letter to you. Gerard, you need to know why I did it, how I feel.
You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
You said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,
That’s right, you don’t wear my chains Gerard Way. You don’t know how I was feeling that night, I was drunk, high, I slipped up. And damn straight am I paying for that now. It happened slowly, I was slowly slipping into a dark world of booze, drugs, pills. You told me to stop so many times gee, so many times. I knew I should have listened to you, after all you had gone through it all. You tried so hard for me, so hard. And all I did was throw it back into your flawless face.
Words cannot describe how much I miss you, I guess I’m going to have to get used to it, you made it clear to me that you didn’t want to know me anymore. Ill obey those wishes, how ever hard it is going to be.
Every time I think of you, I think of the years we spent together. I remember when I first met you, your hazel eyes burning holes through my heart. That’s how I like it. I was yours. I remember the first date, that was amazing. You took me to that diner, proper classy that was. After we had eaten, holding hands the whole time you walked me to the river. We made out that whole night, that was when I realised it. I realised I loved you. I Remember the first time we made love. How it felt to be so close, to be as one. Right now, I really would give everything, anything for us to be that couple again; Not this messed up, watered down version of Us. Scrap that, there isn’t an us anymore, I made sure I screwed that up didn’t I. Its okay thought Gerard, I was the one that fucked things up. And I am truly sorry for that.
Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you
You said...
I made you cry. I made you laugh. I made you happy at one point. But when that time came, when you found my sordid, dirty secret you was anything but happy. I could tell, you were a broken man. I made you cry. I made you hurt inside and that was the very last thing I ever wanted to do. Remember when we were younger, when we made those promises as kids, never to hurt each other, always look after one another, but most importantly, stay together forever. I’m sorry I broke those promises Gerard Way.
You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
You said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,
Promise me one thing now Gerard. I know I broke our promises, but there is one last promise that will never be broken if I had my way. Stay happy Gee, promise me that you will move on, forget about me and my stupid ways. Find a nice guy, settle down. Be happy for me Gee? Because that’s a promise I cant break.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I carried on walking down the dirt roads, by now, vaguely knowing my destination. Boston. I was going to go to Boston. I had enough money in my pocket to get me there and settled down. A fresh start, some place I can find a new job, a home, forget about everything I have done. One thing I knew though, was that it was going to be near impossible to forget one aspect of my life, my heart; Gerard. Even after what I had done, how much I had hurt him, I couldn’t forget about him. He is the love of my life, will always be the love, my love. Shame I cant be his.
said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
That’s where I was heading too. Boston. I carried on walking, fortunately I was near the airport, I could catch a plane quickly, leave everything behind quicker. I like the theory of starting again, even though its going to break my heart, not being able to wake up with you in the mornings, snuggled tight, bodies entwined as one. Its going to break my heart by the fact I wont be able to kiss you whenever I liked, soft lips touching, tongues pressed together. Its breaking my heart that I cant hold you, hold you close to me and tell you everything is going to be okay, because really, I am the one that pushed you away. You were the victim in all of the Gee.
I finally arrived at the airport. I located the ticket sales, ran over and purchased my ticket to Boston. There, sitting in the coffee shop, I held onto the ticket from California. I held onto my ticket out of here, my ticket to a new life. I sipped my coffee slowly, carefully, remembering to savour the tastes on my lips. I did that to you, the last time I kissed you, the last time you allowed me to touch you before harshly pushing me from you, screaming I was pathetic.
I wonder what it will be like in Boston, what the weather will be like. Starting a fresh isn’t going to be easy. Especially without my Gerard. He was the one that did all the work around the house. The one that took care of everything, took care of me. This was going to be a test. I was scared, and the thing I wanted more then anything right now was to be back in Gerard’s strong arms.
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah
Tired. Tired of waiting, tired of thinking everything over in my head. I wanted it all to be gone, I wanted to wake up in Mine and Gerard’s warm comfy bed. I wanted to wake up and to find I had all been a night terror, simply a figment of my dormant imagination. I quickly got up from my chair, hearing my call for the plane away from this hell. I finished up my coffee just before walking over to the counter and throwing it in the trash. While I was standing there, music filled my ears, I loved this song. Me and Gee would sing it, Boston its called. Most properly why I wanted to go there for a fresh start. Subconsciously I started to sing, hum along with the last few verses.
Boston... where no one knows my name... yeah
Where no one knows my name...
Where no one knows my name...
Yeah Boston...
Where no one knows my name.
“Don’t go” I turned my head quickly. My eyes nearly shot from my head when I realised who was standing in front of me. He was a mess. Hadn’t shaved in days, sleep deprived. My Gerard. I just stared at him, my ears and brain not quite comprehending what he had just said to me.
“Don’t go Frank” He repeated those words again. They hit me like a thousand knives. What did this mean? Don’t go? How did he know where I was going? Why did he care, he made it clear he didn’t want me anymore.
Boston... where no one knows my name... yeah
Where no one knows my name...
Where no one knows my name...
Yeah Boston...
Where no one knows my name.
“I know your name Frank, isn’t that all that matters? Just please, forget what I said, forget what you done, just come home” His voice was cracking, alongside my heart. I hated to see him like this, so broken, so alone. But in all truth, it was how I was feeling also.
“Why? After what I did, I don’t deserve you Gee, you were right, I am a low life. I was off my head, but that was no excuse. Just let me go” suddenly, I had the urge to run. So I did. I shot off past Gerard, only to find him grabbing my arm, pulling me back and embracing me into his arms. I stiffened, but then relaxed to his warm touch. God, I missed this. I could tell he did too, the way he was holding onto me, never wanting to let me go. I nuzzled my nose into his next, he brought his head down and secured my position, kissing my messy, dirty hair. Everything was spinning right now, I was so confused. I felt guilty, I felt dirty for what I had done, but I also felt better, as Gerard kicking me out, leaving me like this had gotten me clean and sober. Really, he had even helped me when he hated me the most.
“Stay with me?” he asked, voice laced with hope.
“Gerard, I did a bad, bad thing. How can you forgive me from that?”
“When you love someone this much, anything they do is a blessing in disguise. Okay, you hurt me, badly. I wont deny that, but I realised that we all make mistakes, and I love you too much to let it go Frank.” He stared into my eyes, with every word he was saying, his lips grew closer to mine. Finally after his speech his placed his lips to mine. Pulses of electricity ran thought my blood, his kiss lighting feelings, emotions I hadn’t been aloud to feel for days. Eventually, we separated. Once again, his eyes shone, they glow with happiness that I hadn’t seen him have since he threw me out.
I realised, we all make mistakes. We all mess up at some point in our lives, some more than others, but one thing that I hadn’t realised until now, was that even when you hurt that one person that you love, the one single being you would die for, they will still love you, no matter how much they don’t want to, they will. Because love, which Is what Gerard and I have, is something that is powerful, and is so much more powerful than any sin you can commit.