Into Abeyance

She hopped the stops, lazily inserting her key on the doorknob, pushing the door open as the lock clicked. She threw her boots away and felt the cold against her feet. She gingerly tiptoed to the living room and threw herself on the worn out cream sofa.

“Lia, is that you?”

Rose’s voice called. Lia groaned in response. She turned her head to the kitchen and saw Rose staring at her, pan on hand, her clear green-ish blue eyes staring at her, pieces of short red curls standing out against her pale, freckled, skin.

“How did the rave go?”

She asked, stirring something in the pan and then bending down, probably to lower the flame in the stove.

“It was good.”

“Central didn’t call…did you go after all?”

She asked as she exited the kitchen, cleaning her hands on the apron that she wore over a pair of jeans and a loose white t-shirt.

“Yes…”

Lia murmured, taking her jacket and pants off, leaving only the beaten ‘The Germs’ shirt and her lace pink underwear. She turned and faced Rose, who was now sitting in the uncomfortable wood chair in front of her, her big eyes locking with Lia’s grey ones, expecting details.

“They told me to ask for this..:”

She said, stretching her hand to search her jean’s pockets and extracting the prescription and handing it to her. Rose’s eyes quickly scanned the crumpled paper and her eyes grew wider.

“Lia…this are really strong pills. For mental problems, really…why would they give you this?”

“They say I’m dying…”

Rose’s complexion turned pale instantly and she shook her head vigorously.

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not.”

Rose pursed her lips together and quickly looked down. Every time Lia had come home drunk and high (it usually came together) she had yelled at her and told her she was killing herself, what was the point in giving all of her ‘freedom’ speeches if she wasn’t going to live until there was even a chance of escaping Central’s claws?

“What are you going to do?”

She asked in a whisper, leaning towards her. Lia hated the lost lamb expression on her roommate’s face. That was the kind of face that made her want to punch someone, and do it until she could feel the thick red liquid against her numb knuckles. But instead of doing so, she shrugged.

“I’m going to take them, I don’t want to die.”

Rose smiled. Even though she hated Central as much as Lia did she still did what it said, took the medicine, work and orders she was given and nailed them to perfection. She was afraid Lia wasn’t going to accept the medicine just because she was trying to perform another rebelling stunt.

“Good.”

“But I’m not staying here.”

To this statement Rose’s jaw opened in protest.

“I’m going home.”

Rose gave her a questioning look.

“Didn’t you say you would never leave the city until you died? You love this! How will you survive without the raves, the alcohol and all your other barbarian costumes?”

Lia laughed at her choice of words and turned around, facing the ceiling.

“I am dying, Rose. There’s nothing to loose. Plus, I want to see someone back home…”

A sizzling sound came from the kitchen, causing Rose to hurry towards it and continue to fiddle with the lunch she was preparing, taking Lia out of her mind instantly.
Lia walked towards her small room in a haze, almost crawling to the bathroom as she expulsed the contents of her stomach into the shiny white toilet. As she looked at the disgusting concoction mix with the water she thought about Central and how it had fucked up her beautiful city.

Lia had come home with a couple of beers on one day to find her mom’s cheeks rosy and a playful smile on her lips. She walked towards her mom and kissed her forehead.

“Hey mom.”

“You’ve been drinking?”

“A beer.”

She lied as she sat down in front of her mom. Usually, she would’ve question Lia to no end, with which friends she had been and what not. But today she only stared at her eldest child.

“I have something to tell you, sweetheart.”

Lia looked up as if she had been stung by a bee. Whenever her mom told her something like this it meant something was wrong. ‘Some money is missing…’, Adam is skipping school’, ‘I can’t pay for your college’ and so on and on.

“What is it this time?”

She inquired, dread evident in her tone. Her mom smiled at her in reassuring way.

“I’m pregnant.”

Lia’s face turned to stone. Her mother might as well told her she was a terrorist about to whip her family off the face of the earth. Only that would’ve been better than the words she had just heard.

“Are you retarded? Why the fuck would you do something so careless, mother! You can’t pay for my tuition; you can barely give Adam, Michael, Liz and me dinner! You can’t afford another kid! Who’s the father this time? I bet he won’t be staying around, either! He must be smart enough to get the fuck away from you and the brat!”

She might’ve continued yell at her mother’s recklessness if a swift motion of a stiff and steady hand hadn’t stroked her face at that instant. Lia place a hand over her cheek, her eyes full of hatred at the man who had delivered the blow and was now standing next to her mom.

“Maria and I are getting married, Lia. So you better show some respect from now on or I won’t hesitate to strike you again.”

Lia glared at Patrick. He had been a successful farmer on his homeland but had decided to escape the wars that had started there before they got rougher. He had fled towards this forgotten town in hopes war would never reach it. He made profit by selling milk, cheese and butter from his cows. At that point he was in a promising financial state, just what mom needed. He had accepted to take her and her kids in since mom had told him she was pregnant of him.
At that point Lia had silently left the kitchen and strutted to the room she and her siblings shared. She had taken her backpack and stuffed as much clothes as she could, a few books, the small amount of cash she had been able to collect and other small belongings. Her brothers were still napping on the relatively big bed and she kissed them all goodbye whispering explanations to Adam, the eldest after her. She opened the window and stepped out of her house, the fog around her.
She had gone to the city, her sixteen birthday several days away. Four years ago, she remembered now, the city had been a bright one, full of opportunities and chances to reborn from her ashes. She had started working on a small bar at night and had arranged a loan of money so she could start college: a career on Literature. And then Central took over.
It had started as big, out of seas organization by four brothers. They lifted buildings and stores, libraries, schools. They quickly took over every business in town, until it was impossible for anyone not to be working or buying from Central. It was easy for them to take over the post of rulers of the city, and since the city was the capital, to slowly take over the rest of the big cities around it. Around that time was when the rules started to appear,

Wear grey, black, dark blue and white clothes to work.
Ties are a must for gentleman.
Call Central directly if you feel ill.
Call Central if you see anyone not following the rules.
Marriage is a must for couples living together.
This and this couple must have a boy.
This other couple has to have three girls.
You and you must study finances.
Music as a profession is banned.
Any musician spotted on the street on working hours will have a meeting with Central.
This is the list of the banned books, anyone that is seen with any of these books or talking about them will have a meeting with Central.
The only medicine accepted is the one provided and prescribed by Central doctors.
No foreign objects are allowed…etc, etc.

And then the city was ruined, and Lia hated it. The last remains of her food were flushed down and Lia stood, her legs trembling. She ordered herself to brush her teeth and go to bed. The sheets were cold and clean, completely unlike the ones she had when she was growing up. Back home they were always dirty, always warm to an extreme and crumpled. She laid there, staring at the ceiling.
There was someone she missed, someone she never stopped thinking about.
He was the reason she was going back.
He was worth it.
She remembered when she had walked towards the train station, heavy backpack on shoulder and damp cheeks, the fog playing with her mind as the hours passed by and the train didn’t show up.

“So your mom wasn’t lying.”

He had whispered, sitting beside her. She ignored the voice, surely sitting here all night was making her hear voices.

“Lily.”

He said, placing a hand on her shoulder. She turned around to the only person she allowed to call her that. She stared into his chocolate eyes, took in his tousled razor straight black hair, his tanned skin and crooked smile.

“Sorry…I’ve been here alone for far too long.”

She explained, resting her head on his shoulder.

“Why are you going?”

“I’m sick of this town. My mom’s pregnant. I can’t raise another kid. I can’t stand this anymore.”

“So you’re running away.”

“I’m after my freedom.”

She corrected him. He frowned.

“You’re giving up. You’re running away from your problems. You’re scared to face the facts. You’re killing your brothers. Might as well stab them with the kitchen knife, Lily.”

“Shut the fuck up!”

She had yelled at him, standing up in complete fury.

“Get the fuck away from me! You don’t understand shit, Steve! You’re an ass…get away…”

Steve stood up and gave her one last sorrowful look.

“Are you coming back? They need you, I need you…I love you.”

“Only when I’m dead and buried.”

She spat in anger, ignoring his last words.

“I don’t need you to make me feel like trash, honey, I can do that by myself, thank you. Just leave, I don’t want to see you.”
Steve had stared at her, longing in his eyes and she had just turned away and sat on back down, tapping her foot against the floor hoping the train would come faster.