Into Abeyance
Mind Blitz
He took the news quietly, his pose stoical. She talked quickly and thoroughly, fumbling with her fingers most of the time and staring at them, then stealing one or two glances at Steve whose face never changed. She finished and took a deep breath, her throat feeling slightly hoarse. Steve didn’t talk, he just sat there staring at her. She reluctantly raised her eyes to meet his and it felt as if someone’s hand had wrapped around her heart and it was squishing it. She covered it with a smile and mumbled,
“I guess I left you speechless, huh?”
She filled the silence with a forced giggle.
“Don’t be fake, Lia. I hate when you do that...”
He mumbled, standing up and showing her his back. Lia shrugged,
“Aren’t you going to say something?”
She asked in a low voice.
“What am I supposed to say?”
“I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have been this way...I’ll miss you...it’s not fair?”
She asked, irritation starting to show on her voice.
“Well I’m sorry I’m not on a teenage soap opera, okay?”
He snapped, slapping his hand against the wall, a few of the paintings on the wall wobbled. Lia stood up, walking towards the back door.
“Where are you going?”
He asked with the same edge on his voice.
“To the hotel room...”
She mumbled as her feet took her closer to the door and her fingers fumbled with the lock. His quick strides echoed through the empty house. He grabbed a coat from the hanger and slipped into a pair of shoes, opening the door in a second.
“I’m guessing you’re walking me there?”
She asked as she saw him strut down the street in the direction her motel was located. She sighed and passed a hand through her blonde hair. She looked up at the sky, noticing how clear it looked. She heard an impatient tap tap of foot
against pavement and she hurried towards him.
* * *
He was still distant and quiet when he dropped her off at her motel’s room. He didn’t even reply to her goodbye or tried to approach her to hug her or even more, he didn’t make a move to get in, he just stood there and waited for her to turn her unresponded goodbye into a senseless phrase, or a make-believe song and close the door behind her. She peeked through the window and looked at him turn on his heels and leave. He was never good at handling bad news, she could remember that.
She threw herself in bed and kicked out her shoes, socks, pants, and hoodie and slipped into the slightly scratchy sheets. She leaned over to her open suitcase on the right side of the bed and pushed her clothes aside until her fingers touched something hard. She pulled it out and searched for a small ziplock box and her lighter.
She placed the book on her lap, the greenish cover of the back of a tall and blonde girl in jeans near a lampost with a halo around it facing a mustang and the delicate yellowish letters that read ‘Halos’ staring back at her; took a long, white joint swiftly and placed it on her mouth, her lips keeping it in place as her thumb rolled the little circle producing a blue flame that was then accompanie by a yelllowish, orange and red flame above it. She lighted the joint and took a hit as she opened the book, the already yellowing pages showing her the now familiar words. And even know she knew most of the words of the first page by now, and knew what was happening, the words wouldn’t come up to her mind for it to process it for her. The only thought circling her brain was:
Why the fuck did he buy a wretched dog?!
* * *
He walked towards his house quickly, his eyes never leaving the ground. He wasn’t good at handling this kind of news, he was slow at painful things, his mind knew better.
Is she really dying? Why did she even bother to come then? What can I possibly tell her?
He bit his lip as he entered his house and locked the door behind him. A familiar bark echoed through the house.
“You can come back down now, Hades.”
The dog’s paws resonated against the floor and he gave his master a resentful snort before licking the hand that was scratching him in between the ears. Steve walked zombie-like towards the fridge and extracted a carton of milk, tipping the white liquid into his mouth as his thoughts wandered around a certain blonde and skinny young woman probably getting high or drunk right now.
Why was he thinking that? Lia could’ve changed!
But she did say she had been doing all of those things in the city...
So what? She could’ve stopped ever since...
She thought she was dying? Not a chance. Probably took every spare moment she had to get high or drunk or both.
This is stupid, I need to quit fighting with my mind, in any case I’ll end up loosing the battle.
He groaned at himself and motioned Hades to accompany him to the living room as he pressed the play button and settled on the couch. The movie he had been watching before Lia had come started once again, the umpa loompas jumping up and down. He smiled, he liked the old Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory way better than the newer computer-edited version. It was so lively and upbeat in its own very bizarre way and even though he actually didn’t detest Johny Depp he did think the newer version was nothing more than utter crap. Steve frowned and sunk deeper into his couch. Hades placed his face on his master’s lap.
“I guess I left you speechless, huh?”
She filled the silence with a forced giggle.
“Don’t be fake, Lia. I hate when you do that...”
He mumbled, standing up and showing her his back. Lia shrugged,
“Aren’t you going to say something?”
She asked in a low voice.
“What am I supposed to say?”
“I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have been this way...I’ll miss you...it’s not fair?”
She asked, irritation starting to show on her voice.
“Well I’m sorry I’m not on a teenage soap opera, okay?”
He snapped, slapping his hand against the wall, a few of the paintings on the wall wobbled. Lia stood up, walking towards the back door.
“Where are you going?”
He asked with the same edge on his voice.
“To the hotel room...”
She mumbled as her feet took her closer to the door and her fingers fumbled with the lock. His quick strides echoed through the empty house. He grabbed a coat from the hanger and slipped into a pair of shoes, opening the door in a second.
“I’m guessing you’re walking me there?”
She asked as she saw him strut down the street in the direction her motel was located. She sighed and passed a hand through her blonde hair. She looked up at the sky, noticing how clear it looked. She heard an impatient tap tap of foot
against pavement and she hurried towards him.
* * *
He was still distant and quiet when he dropped her off at her motel’s room. He didn’t even reply to her goodbye or tried to approach her to hug her or even more, he didn’t make a move to get in, he just stood there and waited for her to turn her unresponded goodbye into a senseless phrase, or a make-believe song and close the door behind her. She peeked through the window and looked at him turn on his heels and leave. He was never good at handling bad news, she could remember that.
She threw herself in bed and kicked out her shoes, socks, pants, and hoodie and slipped into the slightly scratchy sheets. She leaned over to her open suitcase on the right side of the bed and pushed her clothes aside until her fingers touched something hard. She pulled it out and searched for a small ziplock box and her lighter.
She placed the book on her lap, the greenish cover of the back of a tall and blonde girl in jeans near a lampost with a halo around it facing a mustang and the delicate yellowish letters that read ‘Halos’ staring back at her; took a long, white joint swiftly and placed it on her mouth, her lips keeping it in place as her thumb rolled the little circle producing a blue flame that was then accompanie by a yelllowish, orange and red flame above it. She lighted the joint and took a hit as she opened the book, the already yellowing pages showing her the now familiar words. And even know she knew most of the words of the first page by now, and knew what was happening, the words wouldn’t come up to her mind for it to process it for her. The only thought circling her brain was:
Why the fuck did he buy a wretched dog?!
* * *
He walked towards his house quickly, his eyes never leaving the ground. He wasn’t good at handling this kind of news, he was slow at painful things, his mind knew better.
Is she really dying? Why did she even bother to come then? What can I possibly tell her?
He bit his lip as he entered his house and locked the door behind him. A familiar bark echoed through the house.
“You can come back down now, Hades.”
The dog’s paws resonated against the floor and he gave his master a resentful snort before licking the hand that was scratching him in between the ears. Steve walked zombie-like towards the fridge and extracted a carton of milk, tipping the white liquid into his mouth as his thoughts wandered around a certain blonde and skinny young woman probably getting high or drunk right now.
Why was he thinking that? Lia could’ve changed!
But she did say she had been doing all of those things in the city...
So what? She could’ve stopped ever since...
She thought she was dying? Not a chance. Probably took every spare moment she had to get high or drunk or both.
This is stupid, I need to quit fighting with my mind, in any case I’ll end up loosing the battle.
He groaned at himself and motioned Hades to accompany him to the living room as he pressed the play button and settled on the couch. The movie he had been watching before Lia had come started once again, the umpa loompas jumping up and down. He smiled, he liked the old Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory way better than the newer computer-edited version. It was so lively and upbeat in its own very bizarre way and even though he actually didn’t detest Johny Depp he did think the newer version was nothing more than utter crap. Steve frowned and sunk deeper into his couch. Hades placed his face on his master’s lap.
♠ ♠ ♠
feedback?