The Day Avenged Sevenfold Nearly Died

So I was standing in the crowd waiting for one of the greatest bands to come out and perform just like the rest of the retards surrounding me. Yeah my name is Luna and I'm at an Avenged Sevenfold concert. Why am I here? Because I like them. Why else would I be standing here with these sick mofo's. But I can't complain, because I am as sick as them.
One day I had a weird dream. I was gang raped by A7x. I woke up from that dream and soon it became my sick fantasy. Yeah am I twisted or what?

"What's up Texas! What's crack-a-lackin!" yelled the lead singer M. Shadows. He was quickly followed by the rest of the band members. "Are ya'll ready to have a pimptastical time? Are you ready for the hot shit that is A7x?"

"Yeah we are!" I yelled along with rest of the crowd.

"Are ya'll ready to get fucked in ass?" yelled one of the guitarist Zacky Vengeance.

"What?" asked the crowd in unison as we quickly stopped cheering.

"Are ya'll ready to rock?" said the other guitarist Synyster Gates. "Is what he meant to say. Fucktard."

Zacky looked back at Syn innocently and Syn just gave him a dirty look. They started to play Almost Easy sending the crowd back into its hectic state. All of a sudden I felt a hand keep grabbing my ass.

"What the fuck," I said turning around to discover some thirty looking year old guy smiling in my face. "Quit it,"

I turned back around and started to dance to the music again. He kept feeling on my ass.

"Luna, I want you vajayjay," he whispered into my ear.

"What the fuck?" I yelled. Lil' Kim was standing right next to me why who knows. I grabbed the weave out her head and strangled the guy. "Bitch, eat a dick."

I turned back around. On stage Syn and Zacky were playing leaning on each other.

"Suck my dick Michael Jackson!" shouted Zacky. Syn turned around and just rolled his eyes at him. "Just kidding!"

In the middle of Syn's solo Zacky did some mid air kick flippy thingy and ended up kicking Syn in his nuts.

"Little Mrs. Sunshine!" shouted Syn as he gripped his crotch. Thankfully the solo had ended.

As Scream started to play a massive mosh pit started I was thrown in. They started to push me up so I could crowd dive but then I was in the air. My body started to contract in different ways until I turned into a HUMAN BOOMERANG!

"Holy shit!" I yelled as I flew over the stage. I quickly knocked down the Rev as well as Johnny Christ. Every one else managed to duck. "Sorry! Fuck me!"

"Look in the sky, its a bird." M. Shadows said.

"Its a plane!" yelled Zacky.

"Its a crazy bitch!" mumbled Syn.

"Fuck me! GET IN MY PANTS!" I shouted as came back from the other side of the dome. I came back to the stage and knocked down the rest of the band. "Sorry!"

I managed to get control of my flying but I was still going in circles.

"Is anyone still alive?" asked The Rev.

"I am," raised his hand as he spoke.

"Come, you are our last hope. Take this gun," he trailed off as he reached into the front of his pants. His eyes quickly got huge. "That is not my gun."

"You sick bastard." mumbled Syn.

"Here," The Rev handed the gun to Syn somehow managing to crawl all the way over to Syn. "Now shoot that crazy mother fucker down!"

I was now hovering my arms flailing in the air so he won't shoot me.

"Don't shoot. I just want you to fuck me!" I said panicking. I couldn't move.

"Asta La vista, you crazy flying bitch." he yelled pulling the trigger.

"I'll be back!" I said falling from mid air. Ain't this a bitch I can move now. "To get in your pants!"

I was falling and falling and then I ended being impaled by the microphone. My head ended up being in Zacky's crotch.

"Yes,"

------------------------------------------------The End---------------------------

Or is it?