Love Can't Save You

I AM SUCH A FAIL. I'm sorry.

“You had coffee with him?” She exclaimed. I nodded, softly smiling to myself, gripping my hot coffee and watching the steam rise gently.

It was the next morning, just after ten o’clock, and Alicia had dropped by to see how I was doing. Surprisingly, I had a lot of fun with Gerard the night before. But I still didn’t like him at all. He just pissed me off so much. But then again, it was almost nice, the way he challenged me. He didn’t put up with my shit.

“It was actually nice, you know? Like we were actually talking, and it was nice. He said he was sorry, about what happened and how he acted. But I let him know I still didn’t like him,” I smiled again, remembering the night, though at the same time trying to get it out of my head.

“Well… If he wasn’t such a douche. He’s really hot though!” Leesh laughed, seeing the look on my face.

“You are such a whore!” I shouted, laughing. “You’re already dating his brother!” We both laughed as Frank came down the stairs with an odd look on his face.

“You ok?” Alicia said, glancing at me then back to my brother. He frowned at me.

“Have fun last night?” he snapped. I looked back at him, shocked. Was he that upset that I had coffee with his band mate.

“What do you mean; did I have fun last night?” I snapped back, getting pissed. He had no right to talk to me like this. “I can have fun with anyone I want to.”

“Yeah, you can. But next time think about who your calling a whore,” He replied obnoxiously. “Because you really need to look in the mirror.” My jaw dropped and my upper lipped curled in disgust.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I shouted. He was reacting as if… Holy shit. He did not. “Did Gerard tell you we had sex?” Frank cocked his head to the side.

“Didn’t you?” He asked, looking very confused.

“No!” I shouted, throwing my hands in the air. “I cannot BELIEVE him! UGHH!” I groaned, throwing on my shoes. “I am going to kick his ass.”

Frank rolled his eyes. “Sit down and keep your legs closed, that’s all you need to worry about.” He hissed, grabbing his coat and car keys before turning and stalking out of the house. I could tell he didn’t believe me, and that hurt, almost more then Gerard lying to my brother and God knows who else.

“Leesh I swear to God I didn’t fuck that asshole.” I promised, turning to her with wide eyes. She was just sitting there sipping my coffee.

“Oh, I know. You don’t have that dopey grin on your face that you always have the morning after you get laid. I’m sure Frank would have noticed if he wasn’t so content on kicking both your and Gerard’s asses.” She rolled her eyes. “He really overplays the protective older brother role.”

“Tell me about it,” I snorted, taking my almost empty cup from her. “And get your herpes infested lips off my coffee.” She kicked me.

“Stop calling me a whore, god dammit!” She laughed loudly. I joined in, trying to forget how upset my brother was and how much I wanted to murder Gerard Way.

* * *

“Frank almost beat up my brother,” Mikey said from right behind me, making me jump. I turned around from the shelf I was stocking my eyes wide.

“You scared the shit outta me, Mikey!” I laughed, placing the remaining shirts on the shelf. “Come on, I’m about to take my break. We can talk.” He nodded and followed me as I grabbed my cigs from the shelf by my register and shouted ‘BREAK’ to Damon in the back. I heard him grunt and, as always, took it as my yes.

I stepped out into the humid Jersey street, the cars whizzing by us as we both leaned against the brick wall, both sliding down into a sitting position. I felt like we actually had a lot in common. I could see myself easily becoming friends with him.

“I didn’t fuck your brother,” I said firstly, knowing that was probably bothering. I exhaled a ring of smoke, smiling slightly watching it spread in the air. I hoped it gave all those fucktards cancer.

“I know you didn’t,” He replied, doing the same, then turning to star at me. “He told me what happened. And he told me why he lied. I didn’t like it, but I couldn’t change it. And I just want you to know, he actually cares for you. I know it may be hard to understand that, but he does.”

I turned away and exhaled again, then took another long drag, weighing the situation out in my mind. “Are you always this cryptic Mikey?” I said sarcastically. He laughed and shook his head. We sat in silence for another minute. “I think I might understand. Thank you for telling me.” I gave him a soft smile, which looked oddly misplaced on my worried face.

“No problem,” He smiled back and stood up to go. He offered his hand to help me up and I took it.

“Just, can you tell him something for me?” I asked with a sweet smile. Mikey bite his lip and nodded. “Tell him next time he wants to talk to me, to grow some balls and come talk to me himself. It was nice talking to you though, Mikey.” I leaned over to give him a hug. “We’ll have to do this again sometime.” He laughed and shook his head in awe, walking away.

I leaned back up against the wall and sighed, trying to figure this all out. I could guess that Gerard did this because he didn’t want anything between us to change. I’m back to hating him, and he’s back to whatever the hell he does. I just don’t understand why he would want to do that.