My Drug, Intoxicated

Blake's P.O.V.

For the first time ever, Yield to the Blind was in a van, traveling down a highway for its first mini-tour. Fizz was driving, his hair whipping around from the open window, singing his heart out to Journey. Jer was in the front seat, his legs on the dashboard reading his new book. I was laying in the middle seat, my arm under my head and a bottle under my arm.

"A smell of wine and cheap perfume, for a smile they can share the night. It goes on and on and on and oooon. Strangers waiting, up and down the boooulevard."

"Fizz, you're not the singer for a reason," Jerry told him, flipping a page in his book. I laughed but Fizz just hit him with an old McDonald's bag.

"Ew. I never want to see a McDonalds bag ever again. Next time can we grab something from, like, a supermarket? I can't handle anymore of that grease called food." Fizz rolled his eyes.

"Maybe if you didn't eat two Big Mac's, a large fry and two of those pie things, you'd be a little less sick from it." I grinned at him in the rearview mirror.

"I'm a growing boy Fizzy dear." He laughed. It was true though. I was the youngest in the band. We weren't one of those groups where the kids form in middle school and get famous before they're legal to have sex. Jerry is 24 and Fizz just turned 23. I'm the youngest at nineteen. I'll be twenty in four months but I still feel like a toddler compared to these two sometimes.

"Oh god, i'm done." Fizz and I both turned to look at Jerry, although Fizz immediately looked back to the road while swerving out of the way of a speedy compact.

"Done what?" Jer held up his book.

"That memoir I just got. It was really amazing. I couldn't put it down. This kid really has a way with words. I mean, it felt like I was there, in L.A, freezing in a back alley getting beat up by thugs." My eye's widened and my thoughts momentarily zoomed back to that day where I found Danny, broken and bleeding on the dirty ground. I shook my head, wiping the images from my eyes. I reached under me grabbing my best friend and taking a sip. It burned as it went down my throat but I instantly felt better.

"I'm going to throw that bottle of Absolut out the window." I looked at Jer in horror.

"To fruits, to no absolutes. To Absolut, to choice--" Jer cut me off.

"Please do not tell me you just quoted Rent at me." He rolled his eyes."I don't care how hard it was for you to get that bottle but i'm sick of you being a raging alcoholic and drinking away your problems. Everytime I mention L.A. or anything similar to that I see you reach toward it." My hand twitched and moved slightly toward the bottle but I didn't grab it. "See? You're using all of your self-control to not grab that right now and chug it. I can't remember the last time you played a show sober." Fizz was staring out the window, not getting involved.

"I'm not immune to what's going around me. The past year or so we've known you it's just been getting worse and worse. You need to get a hold of yourself or," He paused. "This band might not work out." Fizz and I both looked at Jer in horror and he just looked at me sadly. "I'm sorry Blake. But you need to get over your problem. And soon."

I looked down at the bottle in my hands. It was the only thing that kept me safe from the memory of Danny. It's the only thing that helped me on lonely days and even lonelier nights. But then I looked up at Jerry and Fizz. They both picked me up from living off the streets and gave me a place to stay, and someone to be. They've helped me get this far in life and I should thank them for keeping me alive. I looked back and forth between them, confused on what I should do.

Danny's dead. And he's never coming home. I may drink away his memory but it's the only thing I have left of him. I ran my hands through my hair.

I handed Jerry the bottle. He looked at me surprised.

"I'm gonna take a nap." I turned around in my seat so I was facing the back and curled up in a ball. Jerry patted my head and gave me his jacket for a blanket. I fell asleep soon after.