Skinny Jeans Have No Place On These Thighs
Feeling Like A Prisoner
Seb pulls up outside my house but not in the driveway.
"Right, I'll just go and get it then," I say, undoing my seat belt, "which DVD is it?"
"The Departed. I'll come with you. You won't have to come out in the rain again then."
This is really considerate of Seb. I can definitely see that he and Bridget are related. The similarities between them are noticeable. The dark hair, although Seb's is less manageable than Bridget's. Their thoughtfulness. I don't know Seb well at all but...well, he's usually a bit grumpy at their house or just not saying very much but that's not to say he's not a nice guy.
Maybe grumpy is better than charming anyway...
I get out my key before we've even left the car so I don't have to fumble about in my bag for it and then we both make a break for the front door. The rain is ridiculous. I don't think I can do justice to how wet we both get in the short moments we were outside for. I have it open very quickly and then close it just as quickly behind us.
I offer to take Seb's coat but he says that he's all right. I ask if he wants a cup of tea and he says no thanks. So, I'm fairly sure he doesn't want to stay. I'm not sure what we'd talk about it anyway, although I wouldn't mind if Seb stayed for a few reasons. Firstly, I admit, he's completely gorgeous. Secondly, I get a little lonely here and it's worse now that I'm lonely at school as well. Thirdly, it's polite to offer people tea isn't it? I offered Marcus tea when he came around.
Thing is, Seb isn't like Marcus. He's not a charmer, he doesn't overdo conversation and, as I have just found it, he has a girlfriend. Not that anything would happen with us, of course! I am so below Seb's league, plus I am his little sister's friend. Well, I was anyway.
I am just coming downstairs with the DVD when I hear voices in the kitchen. For a moment, I panic because I realise my Mum has just got home but I needn't have worried. I slowly make my way into the kitchen and Mum is smiling at me with Seb leaning against the counter.
"Oh there you are Ella," says Mum, like she's been searching for me or something. "Sebastian was just saying that he gave you a lift home. That was very kind of you."
"It was no trouble," replies Seb softly, giving my Mum a smile that she doesn't deserve.
She's always like this. In front of other people, she behaves like a regular human being but when it's just her and me she gets so tangled up and offended by everything I say.
"I hope you said thank you Ella," she says and I burn inside at the tone. She's so patronising! Like I'm five years old and don't have any manners of my own.
"Yeah," I say in a monotone. Now I feel sorry for Seb having to present to be looking like a brat. I'm not being a brat. "Thanks for the DVD. I didn't realise it was yours when Bridget lent it to me."
"No problem. I better get going. Have a nice weekend." And with that, Seb politely makes his exit.
My Mum waits until he's shut the front door behind him before saying, "How long has Sebastian been here for?"
I remember then that I should have been back from school ages ago, even more so with a lift home! Either way, I'm going to get into trouble so I decide to tell her the truth for once.
"Not long. I had to get something from town. Seb saw me walking and offered me a lift. He was coming here anyway because I had his DVD."
"What did you get from town?"
I haven't got a thing from town because I spent all of my money on cocaine last week of which I did about three or four lines worth. That surely cannot be fifty pounds worth? I have a feeling that Marcus got a very good deal out of me running out on him at Kitch's place on Mersey Avenue. But I just say, "I was trying to find a new hole punch but in the end they were all to pricey."
Mum puts the kettle on. She's not looking very impressed with me at all. "You know you weren't supposed to go to town after school with Izzie and Bridget. I told you to come straight home. You should have told me that you needed a new hole punch - we could have gone into town tomorrow."
A huge part of me wants to remind her that she's never around on Saturdays until about four with her new gym regime at the crack of dawn and then God knows what else in the day but I'm not stupid. "I wasn't with Bridget and Izzie actually, I was by myself. I'm sorry, I know I should have told you."
"Yes you should!" Mum tells me crossly. "You don't think, do you?"
Although I am almost one hundred per cent certain that I spend almost all of my life thinking and fussing and obsessing and worrying in general I don't rise to it.
I've learned that parents don't really mean the things they say when they're telling you off, not even the points they make about whatever it is you're doing that is 'so' terrible. It's just because they want to vent.
It's really difficult though if you need to vent as well. But if you both vent then...well we never win. Whoever is older with a credit card always wins, because they can never be in the wrong.
Mum sighs then and asks me, "What's wrong with you and Bridget and Izzie then?" like it's almost annoying for her as well. Why do parents do that? If you're having a problem which is nothing to do with them they sometimes act like it is inconvenient to them as well?
I shrug, not wanting to tell her why. She doesn't really want to know why anyway, she's only asking to pry. Maybe I'm being unfair but I feel like I've been unfairly treated and I don't want to start opening up to her.
Mum starts to rifle through her diary, stabbing the pages back as she flicks through the days. "I don't know why you have to get into arguments all the time Ella. It's really rather childish to be 'falling' out with people like this, hmm?"
This is SO unfair of her! She doesn't even know what she's talking about. "We haven't fallen out."
Mum laughs, "oh really? So why haven't you had one phone call this week then?"
"I told them not to call," I say, feeling my blood rising. This is too much, she's the one who said I wouldn't be allowed to use the phone and now she's using it against me. "You said I wasn't allowed to talk to people while I was grounded."
I'm tempted to add remember but I don't want to annoy her. Besides, it feels really good to use her stupid rules against her nosy logic.
"So you haven't fallen out with them?" I shake my head. "Great. Right, tomorrow, you're going to spend the day at Bridget's. I already spoke to her mother and asked her and she's fine with it so - "
"What?" I'm speechless, but in the way where you babble stupidly without getting what you want to say across. "But...I can't..." Finally I manage to ask, "Why can't I just stay here?"
Mum raises her eyebrows and smiles sweetly before replying in a faux innocent tone, "Because, Ella, the last time I left you here alone you had a boy over without my permission and I don't think you're responsible enough to actually do as you're told and obey my rules."
Talk about feeling like a prisoner. Was I her daughter or simply under house arrest?
I can't believe she tricked me like that! And now I can hardly turn around and say that me and Bridget actually aren't speaking because then she'll accuse me of lying. And fancy phoning up Bridget's mother like that! If my Mum treated me any more like a child she'd be...now I can't think of anything clever to say.
You get the point though. Oh hell! Why is everything so extremely difficult?!
"Right, I'll just go and get it then," I say, undoing my seat belt, "which DVD is it?"
"The Departed. I'll come with you. You won't have to come out in the rain again then."
This is really considerate of Seb. I can definitely see that he and Bridget are related. The similarities between them are noticeable. The dark hair, although Seb's is less manageable than Bridget's. Their thoughtfulness. I don't know Seb well at all but...well, he's usually a bit grumpy at their house or just not saying very much but that's not to say he's not a nice guy.
Maybe grumpy is better than charming anyway...
I get out my key before we've even left the car so I don't have to fumble about in my bag for it and then we both make a break for the front door. The rain is ridiculous. I don't think I can do justice to how wet we both get in the short moments we were outside for. I have it open very quickly and then close it just as quickly behind us.
I offer to take Seb's coat but he says that he's all right. I ask if he wants a cup of tea and he says no thanks. So, I'm fairly sure he doesn't want to stay. I'm not sure what we'd talk about it anyway, although I wouldn't mind if Seb stayed for a few reasons. Firstly, I admit, he's completely gorgeous. Secondly, I get a little lonely here and it's worse now that I'm lonely at school as well. Thirdly, it's polite to offer people tea isn't it? I offered Marcus tea when he came around.
Thing is, Seb isn't like Marcus. He's not a charmer, he doesn't overdo conversation and, as I have just found it, he has a girlfriend. Not that anything would happen with us, of course! I am so below Seb's league, plus I am his little sister's friend. Well, I was anyway.
I am just coming downstairs with the DVD when I hear voices in the kitchen. For a moment, I panic because I realise my Mum has just got home but I needn't have worried. I slowly make my way into the kitchen and Mum is smiling at me with Seb leaning against the counter.
"Oh there you are Ella," says Mum, like she's been searching for me or something. "Sebastian was just saying that he gave you a lift home. That was very kind of you."
"It was no trouble," replies Seb softly, giving my Mum a smile that she doesn't deserve.
She's always like this. In front of other people, she behaves like a regular human being but when it's just her and me she gets so tangled up and offended by everything I say.
"I hope you said thank you Ella," she says and I burn inside at the tone. She's so patronising! Like I'm five years old and don't have any manners of my own.
"Yeah," I say in a monotone. Now I feel sorry for Seb having to present to be looking like a brat. I'm not being a brat. "Thanks for the DVD. I didn't realise it was yours when Bridget lent it to me."
"No problem. I better get going. Have a nice weekend." And with that, Seb politely makes his exit.
My Mum waits until he's shut the front door behind him before saying, "How long has Sebastian been here for?"
I remember then that I should have been back from school ages ago, even more so with a lift home! Either way, I'm going to get into trouble so I decide to tell her the truth for once.
"Not long. I had to get something from town. Seb saw me walking and offered me a lift. He was coming here anyway because I had his DVD."
"What did you get from town?"
I haven't got a thing from town because I spent all of my money on cocaine last week of which I did about three or four lines worth. That surely cannot be fifty pounds worth? I have a feeling that Marcus got a very good deal out of me running out on him at Kitch's place on Mersey Avenue. But I just say, "I was trying to find a new hole punch but in the end they were all to pricey."
Mum puts the kettle on. She's not looking very impressed with me at all. "You know you weren't supposed to go to town after school with Izzie and Bridget. I told you to come straight home. You should have told me that you needed a new hole punch - we could have gone into town tomorrow."
A huge part of me wants to remind her that she's never around on Saturdays until about four with her new gym regime at the crack of dawn and then God knows what else in the day but I'm not stupid. "I wasn't with Bridget and Izzie actually, I was by myself. I'm sorry, I know I should have told you."
"Yes you should!" Mum tells me crossly. "You don't think, do you?"
Although I am almost one hundred per cent certain that I spend almost all of my life thinking and fussing and obsessing and worrying in general I don't rise to it.
I've learned that parents don't really mean the things they say when they're telling you off, not even the points they make about whatever it is you're doing that is 'so' terrible. It's just because they want to vent.
It's really difficult though if you need to vent as well. But if you both vent then...well we never win. Whoever is older with a credit card always wins, because they can never be in the wrong.
Mum sighs then and asks me, "What's wrong with you and Bridget and Izzie then?" like it's almost annoying for her as well. Why do parents do that? If you're having a problem which is nothing to do with them they sometimes act like it is inconvenient to them as well?
I shrug, not wanting to tell her why. She doesn't really want to know why anyway, she's only asking to pry. Maybe I'm being unfair but I feel like I've been unfairly treated and I don't want to start opening up to her.
Mum starts to rifle through her diary, stabbing the pages back as she flicks through the days. "I don't know why you have to get into arguments all the time Ella. It's really rather childish to be 'falling' out with people like this, hmm?"
This is SO unfair of her! She doesn't even know what she's talking about. "We haven't fallen out."
Mum laughs, "oh really? So why haven't you had one phone call this week then?"
"I told them not to call," I say, feeling my blood rising. This is too much, she's the one who said I wouldn't be allowed to use the phone and now she's using it against me. "You said I wasn't allowed to talk to people while I was grounded."
I'm tempted to add remember but I don't want to annoy her. Besides, it feels really good to use her stupid rules against her nosy logic.
"So you haven't fallen out with them?" I shake my head. "Great. Right, tomorrow, you're going to spend the day at Bridget's. I already spoke to her mother and asked her and she's fine with it so - "
"What?" I'm speechless, but in the way where you babble stupidly without getting what you want to say across. "But...I can't..." Finally I manage to ask, "Why can't I just stay here?"
Mum raises her eyebrows and smiles sweetly before replying in a faux innocent tone, "Because, Ella, the last time I left you here alone you had a boy over without my permission and I don't think you're responsible enough to actually do as you're told and obey my rules."
Talk about feeling like a prisoner. Was I her daughter or simply under house arrest?
I can't believe she tricked me like that! And now I can hardly turn around and say that me and Bridget actually aren't speaking because then she'll accuse me of lying. And fancy phoning up Bridget's mother like that! If my Mum treated me any more like a child she'd be...now I can't think of anything clever to say.
You get the point though. Oh hell! Why is everything so extremely difficult?!