Writing Words To The Music In Her Head

“Are you nervous?”

He just shrugged and turned his back to me again. It was so weird seeing my brother backstage, with a cigarette between his lips. Right now, he looked just like that responsible 'Frank' brother I had two months ago.
But the vision of that kind of person blurred away when he broke an excited grin and blew the smoke into my face.

“Yeah right,” he snorted and dropped his cigarette to the ground, stomping the glow out of it. “It's gonna be fucking awesome!”

And with that, he jumped forward, bumping me out of the way, and took his drumsticks in his hands. He turned around and started to drum with them on my shoulders and on the top of my head.

“Hey, stop it,” I complained and tried to protect myself by putting my arms up, but he just ended up tickling my sides. I laughed desperately and cried; “Stop it!” again.

“You wish,” he grinned and tackled me down to the ground and continued.

I screamed and squirmed around between his legs to get out, but he was too strong.

“Let go of me!” I tried to put on a dominant voice to let him know that I was serious, but I just ended up giggling the words out.

“Hey, what are you? Five?” Billie asked and kicked Tré softly on his back. “Come on. Sword's only has one song left and then we'll have to play.”

“Jeez, sorry, dad,” Tré said childishly, but stood up and dusted himself off. “Okay, now I'm nervous.”

I smiled. “You're going to be fine,” I promised and stood up too. “I'm gonna go out in the crowd.. But good luck, guys.”

Billie snorted and looked the other way. What the fuck? I bit my lip, trying and numb the hurt that was flowing through the body.

Mike walked up to me and put his arms around me. He leaned in and kissed me.

“Good luck,” I repeated in a whisper and smiled up at him.

He smiled back. “Thanks.”

I blinked and pulled out of the embrace, and went out into the crowd. There were almost eighty people at the gig and some of them wore home made Green Day-shirts. I smiled to myself. I knew this band. They were my friends.
Yeah, I know. Childish. But I wanted to give myself at least a little credit.
I was so nervous I had to swallow a couple of time before I could sit down at the bar. Lucy was already there, shouting something I couldn't hear through the loud music, and I bit my lip once again. I knew I was feeling Tré's nervous, or maybe even more. Poor Tré.
At least this wasn't like some speech in School. This was a rock show. A gig. Tré's first. And he would rock this whole place.
I knew he'd be awesome. But still, I couldn't help but turn the drinks Lucy offered me down, because I just couldn't bring myself to drink anything, feeling like this.

What if the seriously screwed up.

And just as that thought crossed my mind, making it go blank, Billie Joe entered the stage with the guitar strap around his shoulder, holding the neck of his guitar 'Frankenstein', taking a look at the crowd.
I saw Tré plop down behind the drum set behind him and Mike stand to his left.
The crowd screamed and cheered in excitement, and I found myself doing the same.

Billie Joe let his hands glide down the strings, and then he grabbed the mic in a swift movement as he sang with a determined voice;

“Here we go again; infatuation touches me just when I thought that it would end!”

They played the song and I sat there enjoying the sound. The first time I heard this song, with their last drummer, it didn't sound nearly as good as it did with Tré behind the kit. I smiled widely, the nervous feeling long gone, replaced with excitement. This was the real Green Day's first fucking show and it already rocked, halfway through the first song.

“Sooo,” Billie Joe purred to himself. “Maybe you've noticed something new with us?”

Everyone cheered.

“Yeah, I've got a new fucking guitar; That's it!” Billie growled with an excited voice into the microphone, making the crowd laugh.

“That's some serious dissin', man,” Mike said into his mic.

Billie laughed to himself, and looked out over the crowd, his eyes stopping at mine. I stared intently into his eyes, and without breaking our gaze he said;

“Ladies and gentlemen; please welcome Mr. Tré Cool!”

Tré stood up and everyone screamed; once again. I laughed and let out a little cheer myself. That was my brother up there, rocking those drums like there was no tomorrow.

They started playing Why Do You Want Him and that was when I got in to the mosh pit. I loved it, feeling other peoples, strangers, bodies pressed against me, head banging like a maniac. That was the best part of these kinds of shows.

The concert went smoothly and everything seemed to go as planned. I loved how Billie moved on stage. I couldn't even explain how he made me feel, but I think you've got the point.

“This is our last song for the day,” Billie said and some people boo:ed. “Oh, cheer up, fuckers. This is a new song called 'One Of My Lies'!”

They started playing the song I'd heard in our basement so many times before and it felt good to be able to sing along when nobody else did. And just as I thought about that, Billie Joe looked into my eyes and winked at me. I couldn't hide my surprise, but let my jaw drop and he laughed at me. Woah. Billie laughing? With me? Odd. Just odd.

After the concert, I ran backstage with full force. Tré was there, talking to Mike and Billie with excitement in his voice.

“This was freaking awesome! Oh my god! We kicked so much ass!” He rambled as I hugged him from the back as he jumped a little in surprise.

He turned around.

“Sarah!” He exclaimed and hugged me.

“You were so good,” I complimented him in the hug.

“I know,” he laughed, so excited that his voice cracked.

I laughed with him and hugged him harder. The feelings that were flowing inside of me made no sense, and I swear I could kiss Tré if I was creepy enough, because I was just so happy for him. So happy to see him happy. Not wearing a tie, not being polite, just being him. The person he'd always been, but hidden. I sighed to myself in relief.

“Hey, lovebirds,” Billie shouted. “Let's go out meet some fans!”

I let go of Tré and shot Billie an angry look, but he ignored it and went outside.

Some fans went straight up and talked to Tré when we came out. He smiled, and wrote some sloppy autograph on their arms. He looked like he really enjoyed himself.
Mike held my hand when he spoke to some fan. I couldn't care less about what they were talking about. All I could see or hear was Billie.

And obviously, everyone else too. He was surrounded by people that wanted to talk to him. He just smiled and nodded, writing autographs and such. But there was one girl that he didn't seem to lose sight of. She was all over him, I swear. I could feel how I squeezed Mikes hand harder as she got closer to him and talked to him.

“I'm Adie,” she said, and Billie just stared adoringly at her.

“I-I'm Billie,” he choked out.

She laughed. “Yeah, I know that.”

He smiled embarrassed and hugged her. I gritted my teeth.

Adie.